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TTC After a Loss 6 Months+
KelinandKevin
member
Post on PgAL got me thinking...
KelinandKevin
member
Since we are all going to get our fabulous BFP's any time now - who do you want in the delivery room with you?
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Re: Post on PgAL got me thinking...
So this is going to sound a little weird...
My Mom has no desire to be in the room. She fainted when I had stitches put in and when my dad had ankle surgery she fainted again ... hit the floor and knocked herself out. My dad is my *best* friend and he knows we are doing IVF in a few weeks. He pulled me aside over the weekend and practically begged for me to agree to let him in the room when I deliver or have a C-section or whatever. Obviously if it's a C-section then it will only be DH and I. So will I be the only crazy lady who just wants her DH and Dad in the delivery room with her? I guess MIL can come too, if she wants... but I am not so sure she wants to watch either.
Hubs.
I don't even want friends/family to know I'm in labor and hover. They can come up after and see the baby. I know it may piss people off, I don't care. I am not into the three ring circus. I also want to try and go natural, so that impacts my decision. My mom is not soothing, she tries to hard, and I can't stand Hubs mom.
Can you tell I've though about this a bit?
Kelin- I don't think I've heard of anyone else saying, "I HAVE to have my dad in the room when my baby is being born!"
I would really only want DH. I couldn't love my mom and MIL more, but when I'm around them I feel... I dunno. Like I have to live up to something, maybe. They're not judgemental. They're very understanding and accepting. I just feel like I want to impress them and make them proud. So I think if they were there I would have that extra stress. Plus, I really wouldn't want their advice at that moment. "Honey, I've had three babies. Believe me, I know what I'm talking about. Lay on your side." That type of thing. It would really make me defensive and cranky. But it means SO much to them. They're seriously upset that I wouldn't want them in the room... and I'm not even pregnant!
Plus, I think it would be nice to have that time as just me, DH, and the baby. That baby will belong to the rest of the world soon enough. It will belong to extended family, school, church groups, and society in general. For those first few moments, I think I would want it to be just us.
I didn't say I "HAVE" to have my dad in the room... but he swears he HAS to be there. He said he isn't giving me an option. My dad and I have an unusual relationship, we are more like best friends than father/daughter. But yeah, I know what you mean about being alone with DH. It should be a special moment. I just know that it will mean a lot to my dad, first grandkid and all....
I won't mind if other family (my mom and MIL, for example) are there in the beginning, but when it's time to actually push, I just want DH there.
I suck when I'm in pain, and it tends to make me panic and be nasty, and well...it's his fault, so he has to stick it out, but no one else should be subjected to it.
Seriously, I plan to present the nurses with flowers and candy prior to the pushing, so they don't just shoot me in the middle of the whole thing. I am NOT a trooper.
Exactly all of this. My mom means well I think, but she tends to be overbearing and ends up making everything all about her. My dr says I'll probably end up going c-sec anyway.
Be kinder than necessary, for everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle!
April 2011 CP @ 5 weeks
Jenn
IVF#1 BFN IVF#2 BFP, loss at 19 weeks FET#1 BFN IVF#3 BFP, m/c FET#2 BFN
Missing our twins Zachary and Madison, lost at 19 weeks on 11/13/09, edd 4/9/10
BFP 7/17/10, m/c 7/25/10, edd 3/25/11
Ectopic, lost left tube 4/20/11, edd 12/6/11
my blog
Of all the things I've obsessed over regarding any future children, this hadn't even crossed my mind. That's probably because I'm not looking forward to my support network. I adore my DH, but he is a huge wimp and super dramatic when it comes to pain or me in pain. But maybe he'll surprise me.
My mom (whom I love) couldn't say "underwear" to me without blushing, so I'm guessing she's not interested in watching my vagina expand. I also love my mom-in-law and it might be cool to invite her because she has 4 sons & 0 daughters, but she would feel like company and I doubt I'll be in the mood to entertain.
I'm thrilled that my extended family is so excited for the day when we have a baby, but I'd kind of like them to stay away for a couple of days so the three of us can bond and do what we need to do in the hospital without constant visitors.
I can't wait for this to be an actual problem I need to solve! :0)
It never occurred to me that anyone besides DH would have any interest in being there. I guess I would be ok with my MIL - she was a nurse and had 5 kidsso I guess she would know the drill. My mom passed away and I don't think I want my dad or FIL around when things really get going.
To be honest, I would love to wait until the kid is born before I even call anyone, but I don't know how realistic that is.
-m/c at 11w2d due to partial molar 2008 -m/c #2 2009
Beautiful daughter born February 2011
**Ultimate TTCALer 2009**
Missed m/c at 17 weeks, partial molar pregnancy d&c 11/30/09