For those who have had multiple IVFs.

07may07 · May 2010

How do you gear yourself up for another round, when the previous one didn't work? I'm heading into IVF cycle #2. According to the doctor, everything went as planned with #1 and since it didn't work out, I'm having a hard time being positive about my next cycle.

I know I'd do better with a positive attitude, so I want to go into this IVF feeling good. How did you psych yourself up for another IVF?

catery18 · May 2010

first i'm so sorry your 1st ivf didn't work.

I wish I could tell you I was super hopefully each time but I think a part of me lost "sunshine and rainbows" attitude. Basically, I told myself that each cycle was independent of another, I had good chances & that if hope was getting up, going to labs and u/s then I was doing just fine.

I also spoke with a psychologist in between 2 & 3 which helped.

Best of luck to you

k827 · May 2010

Im sorry your IVF didn't work. The only advice that I have is a nice long big break in between cycles. That's the only thing that works for me. I usually take 3 months off from a failed cycle. I have done back to back before and that did not go over well for me mind body spirit wise. Also leaving the past in the past helps. GL!

Amie8301 · May 2010

I also had a seemingly "perfect" run the first time and am now working on IVF#2. To be honest, I'm not certain things will work, but I do have a good feeling about things this time. I've just heard so many stories of it not working the first time that it gave me some hope for this cycle. My RE is also tweeking my meds just slightly so that gives me a little more hope. In addition to the fact that I know exactly what to expect this time around and feel a lot less stressed as a result. I hope this helps. Good luck!!

MontyMrs · May 2010

So sorry about the failed IVF. To be honest, after my first cycle I don't think I go into them with a good attitude at all. I think it's enough just to pick yourself back up and try again. Taking a break does help too.

OrangeSmoke · May 2010

Sorry about your BFN! IVF BFNs are the worst!

I've had 4 "perfect" cycles and transferred 9 "perfect" embryos to finally get my BFP. Sometimes starting a new cycle gave me renewed hope to help me get over my BFN, sometimes I took a long break, and sometimes I took a vacation. I think each time the answer was different and I did what my insticts told me what I needed.

steveandkim2 · May 2010

I'm sorry about your BFN. I'm about a month past my failure, and there are days I'm hopeful and days that are a little more negative. I also had the "perfect" cycle and transferred "perfect" embryos and was told by my RE that I have bad luck.

Although my RE wanted me to jump right in, DH and I decided to take the summer off and research our options, get my body in better shape, and do all the things we've put off for the last year (like vacation). Although I'm a little sad about the delay, I also feel like we're going to be much getter prepared this cycle.

njohnson1972 · May 2010

I am AMA so I didn't feel that I could take time off after my 1st failed IVF cycle.

I am also a control freak. So I needed to feel in control of my 2nd attempt. I started acupuncture right away. I also thought that my 2nd IVF would be my last attempt with my own eggs. I needed to know that if it failed, I wouldn't be leaving any doubt about its failure.

I actually looked into EPP and brought it up to my RE. He actually researched in and wanted to try it with me. What I was looking for was a way to improve the quality of my eggs. We knew that was our biggest hurdle.

So far, EPP with acupuncture seems to be my magic formula.

A lot of IVF is trial and error. There is no exact science to finding that one great egg and one great sperm it make that baby we all want. What works for one person may not work for another.

I wish you good luck!

Dragonfly1226 · May 2010

I don't know if I am psyched up yet, and I'm probably less than a week away from ER. I'm just taking it one day at a time. FWIW, as I get closer to ER/ET I do find myself having moments of excitement.

Wishing you the best of luck!

Imanurse03 · May 2010

Honestly it is hard to remain optimistic doing multiple IVFs. I have a hard time being optimistic but once I start stims I usually do get excited. But there are many people who have had multiple IVFs and finally get their BFP. Like pp said, try and keep in mind that each IVF is independent. Past failures don't influence future successes. Praying that you get your sticky BFP with this cycle! Good luck!

patchen30 · May 2010

I had an IVF BFN and my RE said the same thing. I am having a hard time not being negative...I am just so jaded at this point. But I am trying. I guess that's all you can do right? And I take comfort in the fact that if this one doesn't work we will figure something out to have a family, biologically or another way. GL and ((Hugs)).

roselln2 · May 2010

I'm sorry this cycle didn't work for you. I never wanted to be someone who could actually respond to this message, but I've just gone through my second failed IVF cycle, so here goes...

During my second cycle, I felt much more educated about the realities of IVF and what is right vs. what I should be concerned about (e.g., rate of follie growth). I definitely felt more equipped to ask questions when I saw something that felt out of whack.

In terms of getting psyched up, it is hard to get excited after the disappointment. I feel like I definitely got more excited as I saw the follicles starting to grow.

Try to hang in there. It is hard to imagine getting excited after a failed cycle, but you will get there and you will get your BFP! Good luck, sweetie!

smeyer · May 2010

MontyMrs:
So sorry about the failed IVF. To be honest, after my first cycle I don't think I go into them with a good attitude at all. I think it's enough just to pick yourself back up and try again. Taking a break does help too.

I totally agree with Monty. I don't know that I ever went into another cycle with the same attitude, gusto, hope, whatever as IVF #1. (We did 3 fresh cycles and 2 FETs before getting a sticky BFP.) I very much went into #1 thinking "How could this NOT work?". After that 1st cycle ended in m/c #2, I came to the realization that every cycle doesn't work, even if you do everything right and everything looks perfect. With subsequent cycles, I was very much focused on getting thru one day at a time. I dealt with the task at hand then moved to the next. I think in many ways tuned out the noise and stress that can come with an IVF cycle.

First and foremost, give yourself as much time as you need between cycles. Some couples are ready to go right away and others need time to refocus, heal, or save up. Neither approach is right or wrong. Secondly, don't feel like you have to be positive or happy or hopeful in order for a cycle to work. While it certainly can't hurt if you are, don't beat yourself up if you go into a cycle with a healthy dose of realism or even cynicism. IF is hard and no one can be happy all the time when you're in the trenches, IMO.

GL, hon!

m&m2006 · May 2010

i was always so down after a failed ivf cycle. i really didn't start feeling optimistic again until the stim phase. good luck to you!

AimeeL85 · May 2010

Honestly, I didn't. I never got excited about our second cycle, I went into it with the opposite outlook of IVF #1. With our first cycle, I went in extremely excited and optimistic, I assumed it would work, and I was so devastated that I almost didn't even want to do our second (FET) cycle.

I decided to do it anyway, for some reason, but I wasn't excited and I felt positive that it was not going to work. But it did...shock of my lifetime.

All I can say is don't be too hard on yourself if you can't find the same optimism or faith as you had for your first cycle, it's almost impossible to. Just keep going, it's all you can do, and hopefully you will be pleasantly surprised!!

Good luck!!

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