if your son wanted an earring

ali-1411 · May 2010

would you let him?

Jakob has been asking for over a year now to get his ear pierced. He's 8. I'm inclined to say No, because...come on. The kid doesn't need an earring.

What would you do? Is it really fair to deny the kid an earring when most of us would let an 8 yr old daughter get her ears pierced? How would you explain to a boy that he can't get it? I've already told him that it hurts a lot and you have to keep it clean. He still wants it.

btrrcupbride · May 2010

I just told Jason no. No other explanation necessary. I am your mother and I said no. He did the same thing around that age, and thankfully has a lot more sense now than he did at eight.
Now, our goal is to make sure he doesn't end up with a tattoo. :-/

ali-1411 · May 2010

Ha! Thankfully I don't have to worry about tattoos yet

I just wonder if its really fair to tell the kid he can't have it, when I would have no trouble with letting Layna get her ears pierced. Gender-neutral parenting seems to be the trend nowadays, and I wondered if it carried over to pierced ears.

Abrooks · May 2010

At 8 - no. But I'm not even sure I'd let DD get earrings at 8. What's his reason - b/c he thinks they're cool? I think 8 is too young personally. 16 - then we'd discuss it and I'd probably be fine w/ it. But no, not at 8.

rssnlvr · May 2010

I think it all depends on your reasons for telling him no. If you're against it because you think ear-piercing is something for girls only, then you can't really expect an 8-yr-old to understand gender roles and you should just say "no" and move on.

If, on the other hand, you don't really care about male ear piercing, then I think you're right to wonder why it would be any different for your DD than your DS. Maybe you should cage it as a "grown-up" thing and set the rule for both your children that there will be no piercings until middle school at least. That'll buy you some time before you have to revisit the issue. But, to be fair, you'd have to stick to that rule for Layna as well.

Nessia · May 2010

btrrcupbride:
I just told Jason no. No other explanation necessary. I am your mother and I said no. He did the same thing around that age, and thankfully has a lot more sense now than he did at eight.
Now, our goal is to make sure he doesn't end up with a tattoo. :-/

Exactly, I would say no and no further discussion is needed at 8. Yeah, it gender biased and not fair but a lot of things are not fair. Ditto the tattoo too. DD thinks tattoos are cool and has asked if she can have one. Tongue Tied

mcgee · May 2010

I guess it depends on why he wants an earring at 8. Does another child at school have one? Does another male he knows have one? Why exactly does he want it?

In general, I don't have a problem with earrings on men, but I wonder if 8 is a little young for a boy. I think it's something that needs to wait until junior high.

brideonjuly8 · May 2010

If my son wants an earring he can get one when he moves out and is supporting himself financially. Same goes with tatooes. And same goes with other piercings (other than the first hole) and tatooes for a girl.

I don't really care what anyone says- imo, it's socially acceptable for a little girl to have earrings, but not so much little boys.

m_and_m · May 2010

Our rule is no piercings until DD is old enough to get it done at a piercing parlour. Atomic says they can't do it until she's 12, so it would be the same for a boy.

We're pretty liberal with things like piercings though, in part because they aren't permanent. I have no problem with bucking traditional gender roles either, and a pierced ear barely does even that these days. I would like a child to be old enough to understand at least a little that what they are doing is different.

H is already asking for tattoos though, and for the time being we've managed to convince her that she has Freebirds tattoo on the back of her neck (it was a fake one from FB that I put back there MONTHS ago- she'll turn around and pick up her hair to show you her "fresh ink"). I would never sign for her to get one though, because of the permanence. I'm sure she will someday though... she's been with us to get some of ours, and even Grandma has her fair share. It's only a matter of time....

ali-1411 · May 2010

rssnlvr:
I think it all depends on your reasons for telling him no. If you're against it because you think ear-piercing is something for girls only, then you can't really expect an 8-yr-old to understand gender roles and you should just say "no" and move on.
If, on the other hand, you don't really care about male ear piercing, then I think you're right to wonder why it would be any different for your DD than your DS. Maybe you should cage it as a "grown-up" thing and set the rule for both your children that there will be no piercings until middle school at least. That'll buy you some time before you have to revisit the issue. But, to be fair, you'd have to stick to that rule for Layna as well.

This is exactly it.

I don't have any trouble with male ear piercings. I don't have any issues with piercings at all. My mom took me at 16 to get my belly button pierced, I would probably do the same for Layna.

I don't mind letting Jakob have little things to make him feel 'cool'. He had a bright green mohawk at 6 years old. Personally, I wouldn't mind letting him get an earring. I'm more concerned with how others would perceive it. I think teachers and adults would assume he was a trouble-maker or something, the rebel kid. I guess that image can wait until high school

Maybe I'll let him get one just for the summer, and he has to take it out for school. Or I'll just tell him No because life isn't fair and you just have to suck it up.

ali-1411 · May 2010

m_and_m:
H is already asking for tattoos though, and for the time being we've managed to convince her that she has Freebirds tattoo on the back of her neck (it was a fake one from FB that I put back there MONTHS ago- she'll turn around and pick up her hair to show you her "fresh ink").

That's awesome

m_and_m · May 2010

ali-1411:
m_and_m:
H is already asking for tattoos though, and for the time being we've managed to convince her that she has Freebirds tattoo on the back of her neck (it was a fake one from FB that I put back there MONTHS ago- she'll turn around and pick up her hair to show you her "fresh ink").
That's awesome

She totally goes up to new people and says "You got your TAT-too? Let me see your TAT-too!" And if it's somebody in public with lots of visible tattoos (like sleeves or something) my shy child will walk on up to look at them and touch. We need to take her to a convention or something, lol.

btrrcupbride · May 2010

I just wanted to clarify that I don't have an issue w/ male piercings.
I just think it looks tacky/whiskey tango on little kids. Just being brutally honest.
And it's fine on older boys/men (highschool or older)... just not my style, or my kids.

Aaaaaaaaaaaand I am all about gender neutral parenting. My son is cheer Captain.

luluAXA · May 2010

Life isn't fair. There will probably be a lot more things you'll have to say no to and I don't believe in always having to explain why to a kid. No you can't eat rocks, no you can't drink yet, no you can't jump on the couch, why b/c I said so. It's sad but if you don't want him to get one then he'll just have to get over it. There's fine line between being the cool/accepting modern parent and a push over.

angelaggie · May 2010

DH wasn't allowed to get his earring until 16. He now has 2 piercings in each ear, and the first holes are rather large. We've decided when/if we have a son we'll tell him 16. That's the rule. 12 for girls.

I have several tattoos, and the rule for that is 18.

FireChiefsBride · May 2010

I say no, bc I think that 8 years old is a little young for 1. something that requires a lot of work and daily maintenence, and 2. something that will leave a permanant mark. I don't think at that age he is old enough to make decisions regarding long-term appearance, nor can he weigh the social impact an earring will have.

DSS wanted mohawks, piercings, etc probably starting around the same age. DH was constantly telling him about the stigma and reprocussions, and that when he was confident enough with who he was, he could try things out, but not to use extreme measures to force his identity, if that makes sense. (holy run-on, Batman.) In other words, have his outer-identity determine who he would become, rather than the other way around.

This year he bleached his hair and now he wants to dye it purple. We're okay with that bc he understands it's just hair, it doesn't change who he is, and is just a fun form of expression.

mlf625 · May 2010

No.

balihaigirl · May 2010

Nope. DS can get an earring when he is 18 and has moved out of our house. Same goes for tattoos for DS or any of our future child(ren).

AmethystBride · May 2010

I think 8 is a little young for a piercing. Now, maybe we'd revisit the situation when he hits middle school, and even then, like m_and_m, we'd wait for the age to be able to have it done at a piercing parlor. Same goes for dying hair funky colors. Tattoos are a different story since they are permanent. He would have to wait until he is on his own for that one.

:-)

Kim777 · May 2010

It wouldn't bother me to let them do it, but I'm thinking they would have to be around 13 or up. Eight does seem a little young to me. I'm pretty sure I would say the same for a girl though. I believe I was 12 when I got mine done. Now I have three holes in each ear, my left ear cartilage, belly button and used to have my tongue pierced until I had Rhett.

Emer · May 2010

I would say no. I don't plan to let DD get her ears pierced until she is 12, so I would have to set the same rule for DS if he wanted to do it.

Angie&Doc · May 2010

Definitely not 8.

MrsNole · May 2010

Yes.
My brother had is ear pierced when he was about 6 or 7 and he never had any problems with it.
DH is getting his ears pierced sometime this week or next.
I got my ears pierced when I was a baby. I will be piercing my girl's ears when she is a baby.

With that said, if he doesn't like it he can just take it out.

Want a personalized experience?

if your son wanted an earring

Re: if your son wanted an earring

Choose Another Board

Search Boards