TTC After a Loss

work vent

i caught a baby last week for a client and now she is having a medical problem.  she needs to go to the dr but she doesn't have a ride.  she is here from another country to have her baby and staying with her brother.  he works and goes to school and can't take her to her appt. 

mind you we've already talked to the dr and he said he can't repair her problem until she heals more from the birth, like maybe 4-6 weeks from now.  he just wants to see her for a consult.  so, long story long, my boss called me yesterday and asked me if i would take her to her appt, especially since i caught the baby. 

only problem is she lives 1.5 hrs away!  Angry  so i'm going to drive up to her house, take her to the dr (probably a 15 min appt) and then drop her off at home and then go home.  really?

she is a wonderful person and i really like her, if she lived closer it wouldn't even be an issue.  i hate that i feel this way, i wish i was the kind of person who would be glad to do this kind of favor. 

thanks for listening.

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Re: work vent

  • That is a really long way to drive to pick someone up and take them to the doctors.  I am typically all about helping people, but that is a long trip.  Is there any way that she could take a cab or bus?
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  • jen629jen629 member
    well that isn't a good position to be put in because can your really say no?/..ugghhhh I hope they are compensating you for doing that....My question is it "life " threatening" because if it is just a consult can't he just do it over the phone under this circumstance....I am sorry Tex
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  • imageDoingItRight:
    That is a really long way to drive to pick someone up and take them to the doctors.  I am typically all about helping people, but that is a long trip.  Is there any way that she could take a cab or bus?

    i already said i would do it and called her to confirm it.  :(    money is a problem for her and the dr is 25 mins away from her house so that would be a really expensive cab ride.  i really feel like it's not my problem. 

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  • Holy crap that's a long drive!  I'm all about helping people out too, but I'd be annoyed at that.  Half your day is going to be gone by the time you're done!
  • I completely understand feeling that way.  Hopefully you will feel like a good person once the task is completed.  Will you be reimbused for your mileage/time or anything?
    Lilypie Premature Baby tickers IVF #1 BFP Beta #1 528 & Beta #2 1514
  • imageDoingItRight:
    I completely understand feeling that way.  Hopefully you will feel like a good person once the task is completed.  Will you be reimbused for your mileage/time or anything?

    not by my job, the client might give me some money for gas..etc.  but there's no guarantee about that. 

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  • suntotosuntoto member
    I hate driving so I understand your pain!
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  • This is just so sweet of you!!!!  It makes me want to do something nice for someone today.
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  • imageDoingItRight:
    That is a really long way to drive to pick someone up and take them to the doctors.  I am typically all about helping people, but that is a long trip.  Is there any way that she could take a cab or bus?
    I agree with this. Tex I'm sorry that you are being put in an awkward spot.
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  • imageDoingItRight:
    This is just so sweet of you!!!!  It makes me want to do something nice for someone today.

    ummm, it wasn't my choice to do this and if i did have a choice i probably wouldn't do it.  is that still sweet of me?? 

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  • Yes, because you are still doing it.  Eventhough it is out of your way and you do not want to do it.
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  • imageTexas77again:

    imageDoingItRight:
    I completely understand feeling that way.  Hopefully you will feel like a good person once the task is completed.  Will you be reimbused for your mileage/time or anything?

    not by my job, the client might give me some money for gas..etc.  but there's no guarantee about that. 

    Man, that really stinks.  I was going to ask if your boss would reimburse you for gas at least. 

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  • If your boss is asking this of you, you should be getting reimbursed.

    Do you have a typical territory you work in? Do you not charge mileage for out of area clients?  I am wondering because that would make sense from a business standpoint.

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  • imageTexas77again:

    imageDoingItRight:
    I completely understand feeling that way.  Hopefully you will feel like a good person once the task is completed.  Will you be reimbused for your mileage/time or anything?

    not by my job, the client might give me some money for gas..etc.  but there's no guarantee about that. 

    i think it's kinda bs that the dr wants you to drive her, and yet it's not your job. IMO, it should either be part of your responsibility which you will receive compensation for, or  they should leave you out of it. you can tell them i said that, too. Stick out tongue

  • imagepepomntpat:

    If your boss is asking this of you, you should be getting reimbursed.

    Do you have a typical territory you work in? Do you not charge mileage for out of area clients?  I am wondering because that would make sense from a business standpoint.

    since we do home births we go wherever the client lives.  so i don't have a specific territory.  we do charge for out of area clients but that is based on their distance from the clinic.  she is not outside that area.  i am the one that lives so far away from the clinic, 82 miles.  typically someone else who lives closer would do things like this, but that isn't possible today. 

    the client is supposedly strapped for cash and so we are doing this as a favor to her.  we do a lot of favors for our clients.  we donate money to buy them groceries, we discount our rates, we do what we can to help them out in the interest of women and their families in our community. 

    midwives don't make much money- you do the job because you love it.  i do love it, but love aint gonna fill the gas tank today.  kwim?

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  • imagesuntoto:
    I hate driving so I understand your pain!

    ditto this. :(

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  • That is a long way, I can see why you wouldn't want to do it.  I still think it's nice of you though, because you will go and smile the entire time and it will make her feel good.  That's what's important, you are treating her kindly.  Is there something to do where she lives that you would want to do?
    DD(9)DD(5.5)DS(3)DS(born 2/1/11) July 2006, lost a baby at 8 weeks, natural miscarriage , May 2009 lost Zoe Eliana at 17 weeks no reason known, possible under developed organs. Lost two more babies in September 2009 at 7 wks 4 days. Had myomectomy surgery to remove a large fibroid in November 2009.
  • I don't think you are a bad person at all. If it was an appointment they could actually DO something at, I can see spending three hours in the car. But for an in-and-out, wee do something next time appointment? You are totally justified, IMO.
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  • Honestly, I think it is out of line for them to ask you to do this.  It is very kind of you to say yes, but honestly....I think I would have said no.  Could she not take a cab or a bus?  
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  • I think you are a good person...a lot of people wouldn't even consider it.  I wouldn't want to do it either, but I think afterwords I would be glad I did.
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  • Wow, you are amazing for doing this.  I Love to help out when I can but I am not sure how I would react in your situation. In your case I hope what goes around comes around :)

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  • Oh man, that really sucks girl. I'm so sorry you have to deal with that! (((hugs)))
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