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January 2011 Moms
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doula info

atdownsatdowns
in January 2011 Moms

hey ladies,?

I know I want to go as natural as I can (though being very high risk I'll do what I gotta do for baby)?

there arent any midwives around here that I like and i'm not sure if a doula is for me. while I'm very keen on natural childbirth I have three issues holding me up on the whole doula thing. for one it's a very rel possibility that I wont have a natural birth, adn a certainty that there will be alot of meds and machines involved regardless since i"m diabetic and I dont want anyone who's going to make me second guess using intervention and cost me prescious life saving time, and I also dont want someone in the picture who will make me feel the least bit bad for taking what intervention is necesary..?

for a second thing while I'm very keen on nature being powerful I'm also not a granolla crunchy huggy earth mother kinda person. I'm a little more the i can suck it up and del with anything for 72 hours so long as my baby is healthy kinda person. I think if someone was whispering scerenely and cleansing my chi while I'm having contractions I might go incredible hulk on them and throw things LOL

thirdly i'm also a strong Christian and the only two doulas I've ever met were very vaguely spiritually people but definitely not christians, i'm not looking for anyone to talk to me about earth goddesses or auras or chant things... I know this is probably a completely wrong assumption, but liek i said the only two women I've ever known who were doulas were a bit on the trippy side LOL?

anyone have an experience with a doula who was just a real down to earth open person with enough back bone to stand up but not so much as to stand in the way when seconds count?

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Re: doula info

  • nurseJKnurseJK member
    I go back and forth on the doula thing. I would suggest looking for recommendations for doulas in your area and meeting with them. You won't know what you will like if you don't meet them! I am also kind of high risk because of needing to be on heparin. I really really really don't want a c-section I want someone to help me advance naturally but at the same time- I don't want a granola person who won't get my needs for an epidural.
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  • izzourclueizzourclue member
    I'm with you on the doula thing.  The last thing I want at my birth is some strange woman with coffee breath in my face telling me to breath and rubbing me.  I don't like it when strangers touch me.  It sounds like you know what you need and using an OB and modern medicine doesn't make you any less of a natural woman when it comes to the birth experience.  You know yourself, and you are aware of your medical situation.  I believe my DH will stand up for me just as well as some stranger. 
    I give up trying to get a ticker.  I have a DD that is 2.5 years old and is awesome.  Maybe I'll add a quote to distinguish myself.  Hmmm.  How about...

    "It is more fun to talk with someone who doesn't use long, difficult words but rather short, easy words like "What about lunch?" - A.A. Milne, Winnie-the-Pooh
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  • KeriMacKeriMac

    I loved my doula and she is the most down to earth person.  I specifically chose her because she was a good "fit" for me and DH and she didn't shove anything down my throat that we didn't want.  Her main goal was to help me focus and support me, keep me thinking positive.  There was a chunk of time during my labor that I started to think that I "couldn't do it" and DH was exhausted and scared (we hadn't slept in almost 3 days at that point) and she was a tremendous support for both of us!!

    I got a list of rec's from my MW and called around.  I knew instantaneously over the phone that 2 were out (1 was way overpriced and one I didn't like even over the phone) and when I met my doula, we clicked instantly.  DD is 2 and we are still in touch. 

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  • UrbanHippieMamaUrbanHippieMama

    Hiring our doula was literally the best decision we made throughout pregnancy.  She was super down to earth and completely supportive of what I wanted.  We tried for a homebirth and she stuck with me at home for over 24 hours before I decided I needed to go to the hospital for an epi because I wasn't progressing.  I started crying and felt like such a failure, but she hugged me and told me how awesome I was and that I was in no way failing.  Doulas are not there to make you feel bad about any of your choices, but to support you and aid you throughout the process.

    I'm a Christian too, and she wasn't.  It wasn't an issue.  Ya, she sometimes said, "Mother nature created us to do this" or whatever, but I would just say 'God' in my head. ;)

    And honestly, you don't know how your DH is going to react.  Mine was super excited, and was great for a bit, but by the time we got to the hospital, he was done and was literally puking in the bathroom.  (That's right HE was puking, not me!  Haha.)  If it hadn't been for our doula, I would have felt so abandoned.

    Doulas are totally open to how you want to deal with your pain.  If you don't want to be touched, they won't touch you.  If you want a massage, they massage you.  Mine would pour hot water on my back while I was having contractions in the birthing tub when that's what I wanted, and would push her fists into my back with all her might when I needed that.  It was honestly amazing.  She was with us for about 30 hours of our 34 hour birth and stayed for a couple hours after Neriah was born.  We will 100% be getting a doula again this time.

    And she won't be a stranger by the time of your labour.  You [usually] get a free consultation to see if you want to hire her, and then they meet with you twice before your birth.  Mine did a labour simulation with us during our second appointment.  It was awesome!  We had major trouble breastfeeding, and she came to help us, as well as give me a full body massage (so good) the day after Neriah was born.  Then she had one last meeting with us where we went over the birth experience and she filled in any gaps I had in my memory.  She was also on call 24 hours a day from 38 weeks on, and was available by email as soon as I hired her for any questions I had.  She also sent me tons of info on stuff like Vitamin K and the eye ointment, and helped me write a birth plan.

    Sorry this was so long.  I just wanted to encourage you to hire one if you think you should, natural labour or not.  You won't regret it!

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