Parenting after a Loss

I made a deal with DH

I want to have a natural childbirth. He does not. The other day I was joking about how I was not getting an epi and he would just have to deal with the fact that I will be a little cranky. He says, "You wanted a "Father Coached Birth"...So, I am am coach and I say get an epidural."

So, I made a deal. If he read "The Father Coached Birth" by Dr. Bradley from cover to cover, he could make the call on the epidural. I don't think he'll read it. I mean he wouldn't read it for Mari.....but maybe the idea that he gets to make the call will be enough motivation!!


Re: I made a deal with DH

  • Something tells me you'll get the type of birth you want!  My DH would rather sit through the 4 hour long version of Pride and Prejudice than read a book, and that's saying something.
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  • imageMrsPatterson:
    Something tells me you'll get the type of birth you want!  My DH would rather sit through the 4 hour long version of Pride and Prejudice than read a book, and that's saying something.

    Hahaha, my H is the same. I had to throw an all out fit to get DH to read 10 pages of a book on sleeping. A full on fit. And he still didn't want to.

  • imageMrs. Diss:

    imageMrsPatterson:
    Something tells me you'll get the type of birth you want!  My DH would rather sit through the 4 hour long version of Pride and Prejudice than read a book, and that's saying something.

    Hahaha, my H is the same. I had to throw an all out fit to get DH to read 10 pages of a book on sleeping. A full on fit. And he still didn't want to.

    Why are guys like this? The pedi sent us a few pages on sleep training and I wanted DH to read it and back me up on it, he got all annoyed that I keep bugging him about reading it, don't think he ever did either. He says I'm the mom and he'll trust my decisions. Thanks DH, but sometimes I'd like you to have an opinion about how we raise our kids too!

  • I agree with all PPs...you'll get what you want this time! DH is quite the reader but he wouldn't read any books for the pregnancy. He did however read 3 pages of Happiest Baby and that's only because it was the summary section.
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  • If it helps, my DH credits our doula with keeping him calm and focused too. He said without her, he's not sure he would have been able to back me up as much. It might be worth looking into if you can afford it!
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  • xnbridexnbride member

    I second the notion to get a doula. If he is even a tiny bit apprehensive and unable to be supportive during your natural labor then you need to basically act as though he won't be there and invite someone in the room who will support you in the way you need to be supported.

    Maybe watch the business of being born TOGETHER and maybe it will change his perspective. 

     

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  • I didnt' have a natural childbirth but I also think a doula sounds like a good idea.  I think you should have the birth experience that you want (if it's possible) since you are the one carrying around the baby for 8 months and going through labor.  But, if it were my DH I think he would be scared of the pain I was in and so he would really be pushing the epi.  
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  • My Doula and DH were amazing throughout my birth process and they were both equally involved. We love our doula and I couldn't have done it without both of them! Doula's are totally worth the money!
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