Okay. I just have to say this, and I am not trying to get sympathy or attention. I realize that most people on this board have been through many more infertility-related problems/treatments than DH and I have been, and have been trying for much longer than us, but I just have to let this out.
Ever since my eggs didn't fertilize, I have been TERRIFIED that I am never going to have my husband's baby. Terrified down to the pit of my stomach. Terrified to the bone. Being told that we are "unexplained" is just really starting to get to me because I just want a reason for all of this. I feel completely stuck. My family doesn't get it, my friends don't get it, heck even my therapist doesn't get it. I feel like I am losing the life I have worked so hard for right before my eyes, and I am completely helpless. My jealousy of friends and family who are pregnant and or have kids is controlling my life right now, and its like trying to ignore the strongest itch you could imagine. I'm more scared to try again now than I was after my m/c. There is always a part of me that feels angry. Lastly, I feel guilty because I know that there are a lot of people who have it much worse than me, and I should feel fortunate for everything that I do have.
Ugh, I sound so whiny, I know. I want to slap myself.
Thanks for listening.