Pregnant after a Loss

i need opinions about cake ettiquette.

my friend volunteered her house for my baby shower. my sister did most of the actual planning, set up, etc, but my friend was in charge of getting plates/cups and the cake. and she got the most AMAZING CAKE EVER. it was a chocolate cake with chocolate fudge frosting and cannoli filling. it must have cost her somewhere between $50-75.

when it was time to go, there was a good portion of the cake left over. she put half on a plate and gave it to me to take home, and she took half for herself and her family. the other night, i had to swing by her house and i saw that she still had half of the left over cake there. i was like "oh my goodness, i can't believe you guys didn't eat this already!" and she said that her boys (3 sons) aren't allowed or don't like to eat chocolate, and her husband wont eat it either, so really it's just her.

what do you think of this? first of all, do you think it's ok that she kept half the cake for her family, as opposed to give it all to me? second, i had to share my portion of the cake with my husband, sister, and parents-- it was gone by the end of the weekend. do you think it was fair of her to take just as much as she gave me for just herself?

i'm not going to let this bother me, really. it's just cake, it's not a big deal. but i just wanted to know what other people thought of the situation because i admit, something about it just seemed... unusual.

Re: i need opinions about cake ettiquette.

  • I think it's odd that she kept so much for herself if she was the only one eating it.
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  • I'm dying laughing that you're thinking this much about cake.  My kind of gal.  I think she should have given the Mom-to-be all the cake to do with what you choose, but that's just me. 

    Still laughing that you want clarification on cake etiquette-too cute.

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  • imageMrs0815:

    I'm dying laughing that you're thinking this much about cake.  My kind of gal.  I think she should have given the Mom-to-be all the cake to do with what you choose, but that's just me. 

    Still laughing that you want clarification on cake etiquette-too cute.

    it was really good cake. i almost started crying when i saw it just SITTING there in her kitchen. i also think she stole our ketchup, but that's a completely different post.

  • Yea, it's weird that she kept all that cake for her alone? Personally, if I were her, I'd have given you the entire cake and only taken a piece for myself if you offerred it. People are strange!
  • imagesomeflower6:
    imageMrs0815:

    I'm dying laughing that you're thinking this much about cake.  My kind of gal.  I think she should have given the Mom-to-be all the cake to do with what you choose, but that's just me. 

    Still laughing that you want clarification on cake etiquette-too cute.

    it was really good cake. i almost started crying when i saw it just SITTING there in her kitchen. i also think she stole our ketchup, but that's a completely different post.

    OMG I almost peed my pants.

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  • I think it is a little odd she kept so much for herself, but I don't think it is really unfair. Honestly I don't think I would have thought twice about it.
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  • I'm now waiting for the stolen ketchup post. Huh?
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  • I would have thought that she would have given you all the extra.  It would have been up to you to offer her some to take home.
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  • I would be really sad seeing that cake go to waste. It does seem weird that she took that much knowing that only she was able to eat any of it. It would have been nice to offer some to the other guests as well, not just you. Just think, that poor cake will meet the bottom of the garbage can soon. ::tear::

    Now I will sit and wait to hear about the Ketchup stealing story. :)

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  • lol, the ketchup story really isn't that interesting... my friend insisted that we take home all the left over food (except the cake of course ). she refused to keep anything at her house, and gave us back not only the food, but containers of items that were nearly gone (like a mustard bottle that only had one squirt left in it). however, when we got home we noticed that our full costco-sized bottle of ketchup was missing. i texted her and asked if we left it there and she's like "oh well there are two bottles here but they could have been ours..." she's as big of a ketchup junkie as husband and i, so we jokingly say that she "forgot" to give it to us. but that's ok cause we have a secret stash no one knows about...
  • imagesomeflower6:
    lol, the ketchup story really isn't that interesting... my friend insisted that we take home all the left over food (except the cake of course ). she refused to keep anything at her house, and gave us back not only the food, but containers of items that were nearly gone (like a mustard bottle that only had one squirt left in it). however, when we got home we noticed that our full costco-sized bottle of ketchup was missing. i texted her and asked if we left it there and she's like "oh well there are two bottles here but they could have been ours..." she's as big of a ketchup junkie as husband and i, so we jokingly say that she "forgot" to give it to us. but that's ok cause we have a secret stash no one knows about...

    This is what exactly was going down after you got off the phone with her.

    image

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  • If I had really liked the cake and she only gave me half, the day of the shower I would have been thinking I wish I had more to take but if I saw she had some left a few days later I wouldn't have thought about it.

    BFP #1: 10/17/08 EDD: 6/24/09-missed m/c; d&c on 12/8/08 BFP #2: 11/7/09 EDD: 7/15/10-Cabe born on 7/9/10 BFP #3: 10/7/11 EDD: 6/20/12 Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker Pregnancy Ticker A Butterfly lies beside us like a sunbeam and for a brief moment, its beauty and glory belong to our world. But then it flies on again. And though we wish it could have stayed we feel so lucky to have seen it. In loving memory of MrsTyson's precious Julia.
  • I understand you, someflower!

    I know that I should probably be the type of person that lets things like that go, but when it comes to cake . . .

    I think that it would have been gracious of her to leave the cake with the mom-to-be and her family.  If you spend 50 bucks on a gift for someone, then you aren't excused if you take it back home with you.  That's just my two cents.  However, the situation can probably be interpreted in a couple of different ways, so even though I might give her the side-eye from now on, I probably wouldn't say anythying.

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  • imagesinisterkat01:

    I understand you, someflower!

    I know that I should probably be the type of person that lets things like that go, but when it comes to cake . . .

    I think that it would have been gracious of her to leave the cake with the mom-to-be and her family.  If you spend 50 bucks on a gift for someone, then you aren't excused if you take it back home with you.  That's just my two cents.  However, the situation can probably be interpreted in a couple of different ways, so even though I might give her the side-eye from now on, I probably wouldn't say anythying.

    no way, i definitely wouldn't say anything! i'm just wondering what i would have done if the situation was reversed... would i have kept half the cake for myself, or would i have given the whole thing to the lady having a baby. i WANT to say i'd give it all to her but i think i would try to find a way to hoard at least SOME for myself! ;-)

  • OMG, I'm still drooling over your cake.

     

    Chocolate cake with chocolate frosting + cannoli filling?  OMG. OMG. OMG.  I'd cry too if she didn't send it all with me. 

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