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achase was right...

ErinC27ErinC27
in Single Parents

I am pretty sure it was Ann Marie that said it. I learned this week that my sweet, loving, wonderful husband never really existed. 

 

Here is the short story-

We went on vacation this past week to California. We were a couple hours from STBXH's family, so I arranged to take DD to see them. They didn't do anything to me, and I don't want to keep them from her. I have only met his family a couple times. I knew they weren't close, and they lived 3000 miles away, so I assumed that was most of the problem. 

When I went to see them I learned more about STBXH than I have ever known. It turns out he lied to me about a lot, and about big things (I could go on for days about what, but it doesn't matter and makes the story too long).  His family didn't tell me about any of it before because he was lying to them about me, and because they didn't want to mess our relationship up if it was really making him be a better person (that is what it looked like). 

So really, I was just fooled this whole time. He did to me what he has done to other girls in the past. It shocked me to know that he really was that type of guy the whole time, but mostly it makes me weary about other people. I don't know if I will ever be able to be in a relationship with anyone because it will be so hard to trust them  

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Re: achase was right...

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    BostonGayGalBostonGayGal member

    That must have been a very interesting visit!

    Trust isn't easy after divorce.  When I met my second wife, I really looked at her relationships with friends and family.  I looked to see that they were strong relationships.  I listened to them tell me stories about her and noted that they jibed.  I looked to see that they were equal (not using) relationships.  That was a big deal to me.



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    laurieb602laurieb602 member
    I had the same "awakening" with DD's father...he even lied about his age! Stuff that didn't even matter, it's an eye opening experience, but for me it made it easierfor me to move on and know I was better off without him in our lives! Hell he even died running from a cop bc he didn't want a speeding ticket bc his family would find out his license was suspended!
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    taylorsue00taylorsue00
    imageBostonGayGal:

    That must have been a very interesting visit!

    Trust isn't easy after divorce.  When I met my second wife, I really looked at her relationships with friends and family.  I looked to see that they were strong relationships.  I listened to them tell me stories about her and noted that they jibed.  I looked to see that they were equal (not using) relationships.  That was a big deal to me.

    something i find very important for when i'm ready to be in a relationship.

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    achase123achase123

    I am sorry that I was right :(.....it is always hard to find out after the fact and you want to scream at those who knew "why didn't you tell me??!!!"

    Hang in there girl, and don't lose all your trust.  You have been hurt but you will one day learn to love/trust again.  ((HUGS))

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