when do i tell ppl

pphshorty · May 2010

this is my first pregnancy. we concieved our first month trying. my husband is extremly eager to tell the world but as we are only about 4 1/2 weeks i want to wait. i've had a few cousins have miscarrages and also my sister-in-law went through several. also i've been cramping a few times everyday which really scares me. our first ultrasound is scheduled at about 8 weeks. i'm wondering if i should tell ppl after the u/s checks out or wait till the end of my first trimester? one thing is for sure though... i'm driving my husband crazy by making him wait.

jaejaevee · May 2010

It's kind of different for everyone. We waited until after the first u/s with DS. We'll probably do the same this time. Although, we told our parents, siblings and grandparents right away. We knew we'd want their support if anything happened.

AimeeL85 · May 2010

It's totally up to you when you tell...maybe you could compromise and just tell immediate family now and then other people after your 8 or 12 weeks ultrasound. But I also just want to say that the cramping is completely normal!

pawcall · May 2010

I understand where you're coming from. My husband wants to tell EVERYONE and I want to wait. Compromise was that we told a couple of people whose support we'd need if we had a loss, and others will wait until we see the heartbeat on the u/s.

Ceefome · May 2010

With DD, DH told so many people right away. I was not happy with him for that, but thankfully nothing went wrong. I did tell my dad, sisters, and best friend immediately.

This time, DH is being much more prudent. We haven't told anyone yet, but I'm telling my BFF when I see her this week, and my family Memorial Day weekend. They are the folks I would look to for support should something go wrong. We'll tell more people after we hear the HB.

houndbaby · May 2010

it's a personal decision. We told a few close friends and family members right away and waited until after we had a good u/s to tell others.

KeriMac · May 2010

First of all, congrats and welcome to the board! I agree with others, it's a personal choice. With DD, we told our immediate family right away and everyone else after the NT scan (at 12 weeks).

I had a loss in Feb and we had told half the world because I was almost 10 weeks, so this time we are waiting until after 1st u/s (at 7w2d) and as long as everything looks good, we will tell our parents and a few close friends and then I will tell other people after 12 weeks and/or as they ask me (I seriously look about 5 months pregnant between being overweight and bloated).

atdowns · May 2010

First WOOHOO congrats!!

My hubby and I make a general rule that we dont tell anyone but our parents until after we see the ehart beat. for one thing it makes it our special time to have our little secret, for two the chance for miscarriage drops significantly after the heartbet is confirmed.. You tell people whenever you have the itch to now, later, on the spur of the moment or planned out elaborately, any way that feels right is perfect

However, having suffered a loss at 17 weeks I have two thoughts on this to share with ya yes it can be hard to have to tell people that you've lost your prescious one.. but at the same time i cant imagine how hard it would have been to have to suffer in silence and pretend that everything is fine when I felt like I was about to die inside.. the flood of warmth, love, support, encouragement and help that came our way after our church, family and friends found out was like a soothing balm to the open wound.?

It's for that reason that we decided this time around we're celebrating this birth just like our last one.. we're telling everyone as soon as we see the heartbeat. For me every life deserves to be celebrated by the whole wide world no matter how tiny :-D

?

KevinJenn · May 2010

its up to you. We told everyone already. For one, we were too thrilled to keep it to ourselves...we are bad with secrets. Plus, its the summer, parties are numerous and my friends would totally know when I refused that glass of wine. It was easier for us to just let the cat out of the bag early. Its whenever you feel comfortable. Congrats!

lsugirljen · May 2010

cdobry01:
I understand where you're coming from. My husband wants to tell EVERYONE and I want to wait. Compromise was that we told a couple of people whose support we'd need if we had a loss, and others will wait until we see the heartbeat on the u/s.

This. We are waiting to see the heartbeat on the u/s also.

IncogNeato · May 2010

We told my parents at 7 weeks only because they were going to visit my sick gma and I wanted them to get to tell her in person.

For the rest of our family were waiting until after we see the HB, which won't be until 11 weeks, unfortunately. Then we have our NT scan at 12 weeks and if that goes well, we'll tell the rest of the world. :-)

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