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Advice for a working mommy please...

gabybaby03@yahoo.comgabybaby03@yahoo.com
in Stay at Home Moms

Hi, I have been pondering over this issue and hopefully one of you stay at home mommies could possibly give me advice...

1) I have always been a working mommy M-Thurs so If I decide to stay at home with this baby (other child is school age now) will I go crazy staying home all day?? I know this sounds silly but hubby and I have been discussing the possibility of me staying home and deep down I'm scared I'll go nuts.

2) Worried about not having the extra money, my hubby  pays 90% of everything but I really like my spending money, yikes that sounds bad but I'm being honest here, I'm just worried things will be tight...how did you guys adjust?  Thanks!!!

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Re: Advice for a working mommy please...

  • MrsRebeccaMrsRebecca member

    I've never been a working mom, but I love being a SAHM. We get out of the house every single day, even if it's just to walk to the park. Being a SAHM doesn't mean you literally stay at home- you just have to find things to do!

    SAH didn't come without sacrifice, but the things we gave up were eating out, expensive travel and shopping- are all things that naturally go to the wayside with baby anyway. Even if we had a bigger eating out budget, it's practically impossible with DS.

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  • kcisthebombdotcomkcisthebombdotcom member

    I'm not a FT SAHM (I work 17 hours/week) but I'm home most of the day since I only work 3-4 hours a day. I can't say if you would go crazy being home full time because everyone is different, but I would. I'm not sure if you work 32 or 40 hours a week (or less) with a Monday-Thursday schedule, but maybe find something to do to get out of the house a few times a week for a couple of hours if you think being home all the time isn't for you.

    If DH only pays for 90% of everything now, you need to adjust your budget. Try living off his income alone until baby comes to see if it works. He should be able to pay for 100% of everything plus have some money to spare for savings. You'll have to see what you can cut back on, like cell phones, cable, going out to eat, etc. and see if the numbers work. If they don't you need to keep some income coming in.

    GL

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  • storybooklovestorybooklove member

    I was worried I'd go nuts too. Luckily LO was born in the spring and we have never stayed home a day. We go for walks, and the public library is only a few blocks away so we spend time there. I don't spend $ every day but we do go do things.

    It is still hard for me to not have my own $. I feel weird needing to ask for $ for everythning and being so dependant. DH and I never set up a joint bank acct. (I can see all his transactions etc, dont' get me wrong)  so I literally have to ask when I need $. It's not like he's keeping it from me, if there's cash in his wallet he know's it's free gamev bc I hate saying that I need it. Eventually we will make the trek to the bank and get me a debit card for his acct to make this easier. but I used to work for my FIL and I still try to once in a while so I can have some "mad $."

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  • mando618mando618
    I was a working mom and now a sahm.  I have found that I stay really busy and the days fly by.  There are always errands to run. We are also involved with moms club so we have activities planned.  I worked 4-5 days per week previously and that was really difficult.  I love being at home!  I also realize that you have to do what works for you.  We tried to live on my husband's income for a few months before I quit my job.
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  • ashleywebberashleywebber member

    I have been a full-time SAHM since DS (4 1/2) was born (actually I never really worked because my DH and I were in college when we got married and I found out I was pregnant the week we graduated and never got a "real job").  We have always lived on one income and have found that we are able to afford a lot.  We don't go on a big vacation every year, but we plan to do one every couple/few years and we do beach weekends a lot (since both of his parents have beach houses).  We go out on a date night once a month and do what we want (dinner and movie, nice dinner) and eat out with DS a couple of times a week.  We don't buy clothes all the time, but when we need seasonal clothes, we have a budget and go to Kohl's as they have great deals and we usually get a percentage off coupon.  We plan purchases like TV, camera, etc.  We live on a budget and we really get to do a good deal.  I would happily spend less and cut back more to be a SAHM as it is one of our priorities.

    As far as the boredom thing, I will be honest that you could get bored.  I don't really get bored as I try to do things with DS a lot.  We did MOPS/Bible study this year every Tuesday morning, we go to storytimes, we meet friends for playdates, we go to jump house places or the park, and I pre-homeschool my son.  We play and do crafts and projects.  Not to mention that I do all the household cleaning, laundry, and cooking so that takes time. 

    Being a SAHM isn't for everyone, but if you think it is for you, you will find a way to make it match your personality and needs. :)  Good luck!

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  • JOEBunnyJOEBunny member

    I have never been a working mom, but I had a career for 12 years with a lot of responsibility and a pay check to go along.  I have been home for 4 years now and really do not miss it.  I do sometimes miss the respect that I would get when I say, "Hi I am X, and I am blah, blah of XYZ", but that is it.  Most of my mom friends also had "real" careers, so we all understand each other more easily.  We never lived on my paycheck after we married, we just invested it, so I have both a good cushion and knew we could live on DH's salary.  We bought a house on that idea too, so no changes were really needed. 

    I get one check each month from DH.  I don't have to "ask" for money.  We work out the portion of the budget that I need at the beginning of the year and that is what I get.  It is easy for me to manage and includes money for me to do fun things for myself and the kids, in addition to the mundane stuff.  

    I have made a lot of friends and they make all the difference in the world.  Even one good friend will prevent you from going nuts.  

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  • MAprincessMAprincess member

    I used to be a WM and now SAH.  We have lots of activities that get us out every day.  I also am part of a play group so I have met other SAH moms and have met another from the boards IRL too.  The trick I find is to find others who also stay home so you don't feel isolated.

    I have also become better at saving money and taking advantage of sales and coupons.  We cut out eating out/take-out and some of our spending, but we are decent in our situation.  We have no cc debt or loans (other than the mortgage) and we own both cars free and clear, which helps.

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  • gatogrrlgatogrrl member

    1) It probably depends on the person.  I HATED the office, so staying at home feels very freeing to me.  But lots of people do feel stifled and bored at home.  It's not an irreversible decision, though!  If you don't like it, you can go back to work.

    2) We already had a fairly thrifty lifestyle, so we didn't miss the extra income much.  I really miss travel -- we used to take 4-6 travel vacations a year just for fun.  Not anymore!  But I see this as a temporary hold on travel while the LO's are young.  And even then, we still take a "fun" trip once in a while.  

    The way we work the money, DH automatically transfers a set amount into my account every month.  I pay most of the bills from this, but there's some left over for me to spend as I wish.  It's like a paycheck (but no, my DH is not the boss of me.  I have no worries of being fired! :).

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  • jessiesnwbrdjessiesnwbrd member

    Oh, how I wish I was in your situation. I would give anything for the opportunity to stay at home when my baby is born. I'm sure there will be times you'll feel like your going crazy, but the trade off is so worth it :) Enjoy! :)

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  • mandymackmandymack member

    Hi and welcome to the board!!!

    1. I agree with what everyone else has already said: being a SAHM is what YOU make of it and joining a Mom's Group/MOPS, a gym, going to Library Story Times and the park, hosting play dates, getting memberships to your local zoos/children's musems/aquariums, taking walks, doing little art projects, etc. are all great ways to meet people, interact/play with your kids, and stay busy and happy!  I've been home over 4 1/2 years now and only during the Newborn stage for a few weeks was I ever bored as they sleep... A LOT.  :D

    2. I have never felt this way, mainly because I'm the CFO and manage all the money and give my DH a monthly "allowance" that I also give myself.  Helps us stay on budget for our savings goals and gives us each a clear idea of what we have to blow on whatever we want.  Thankfully, his income provides us a great lifestyle and things aren't tight.  Living on his income now and having an honest conversation about what $$$ you'd like every month to make SAH fun for you both is a great start. 

     

    I hope it works out for you, good luck!

    eclaire 9.10.06  diggy 6.2.11

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