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January 2011 Moms
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Feeling a little depressed

whits900whits900
in January 2011 Moms

Sorry - not to be a debbie downer, but the further along I get, I obviously get more excited - I really want to tell ppl but am waiting to tell most just in case.

So the real issue is - I'm not very close to my mom....at all. I'm an only child to a single mother, so I don't have sisters or brothers to tell - and I don't talk to my dad either. This is one of those times where I really want to be close to my mom - I want to be able to talk to her about what I'm going through, ask her advice, etc. My mom has wanted me to get pregnant ever since I was 19, so she will be excited - but I'm not excited to tell her. We just don't see eye to eye on things and I'm honestly scared of having her near LO - she drinks heavily, is on tons of medication, and basically is nuts.

And FYI - I am making this post sound way more subtle than things really are....there are tons of issues here.

I guess I just have the "lifetime movies" image of what a mother/daughter relationship should be like....

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Re: Feeling a little depressed

  • jaejaeveejaejaevee
    I'm sorry you feel that way.  Having kids always adds weird new elements to relationships that are already tricky.
    {Chaos and Love}
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  • honey740honey740 member
    Do you have a close girl friend you could tell? or maybe an aunt? Are you close to your MIL? I think it might help to have at least one or 2 people to share the news with besides your DH.
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  • tigeralitigerali
    That sounds like a difficult situation, and I am sorry you have to go through that.  We are here for you ((HUGS))
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  • atdownsatdowns

    really sorry to hear that HUGS

    unfortunately hallmark cards give us all really false expectations. I agree with the other gals, is there another close woman in your life you can share with? it will help especially when you and your mom have any confrontations or disputes. I'll be praying for you. for comfort and peace.?

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  • itsmeginitsmegin

    Awww, I'm sorry. That is really upsetting. It sucks when you go through what you expect to be normal, fun life events and you can't enjoy them the way you envisioned it. I don't know if it helps you, but keep in mind that most people have weird family issues and drama that they don't talk about. There's really no perfect family out there who has the exact relationships they want. 

    My family and I had a really strained relationship with my brother around the time when we were planning our wedding, and we weren't even sure if he would show up, cause a scene, etc. It made the whole thing not as fun as it should have been had things been "normal." So I get what you mean. It sucks.

    Is your MIL nice? Maybe focus on your relationship with her as your other mom role model.

     

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  • whits900whits900

    Thanks ladies - yes, MIL is awesome - and she's a fertility nurse so it's easy to talk to her about this kind of stuff :)

    Unfortunately too - I'm in serious need of some girl friends - had to drop one recently because she was a complete psycho, and most of my other girlfriends have moved to other states in the past couple of years...(is it me?!!) JK

    I think that's another reason the whole mom thing is hitting hard too...

    And mostly, I'm guessing my prgnancy hormones are having something to do with this ;)

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  • ocenbrez2ocenbrez2

    sorry to hear this :( It's hard when you want something from you mom and having to admit that you will probably never get it. I have a decent relationship with my mom, but the focus always has to be on her. I told her i'm pregnant and she said "don't do this to me!" figures, she always takes it back to herself! she is of course very happy, and dying to be a grandma, but she sure has a weird way of showing it. I was also talking to her tonight about (months from now) not fitting in to my jeans, and she said " you probably will because women who are overweight don't tend to show". RUDE! oh well, i have to consider who I'm dealing with and just not be surprised when i hear things like this.

    so...don't be depressed! you are growing a beautiful baby inside you, so rejoice and thank God for all you have been given!

    God Bless your pregnancy!

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