layoff=stay at home mom=unsure

Calis · May 2010

I found out I will be laid off from my job for the next year. DH and I decided that I will be a stay at home mom for the next year and a half and hopefully get called back (or find a new job) after that.

I have such mixed emotions about it. Part of me was praying it would happen this way cause I REALLY want to be home with DS. But part of me is sad to lose my job that I really loved and unsure of the future. I know I will need to get back to work, for financial reasons, soon...I just hope I can get that job or something I like just as much back.

Also... I know this sounds shallow but we will REALLY have to watch our money. That means no traveling, no shopping for clothes that are unneccessary and no fancy dinners. For the most part I am ok with this, and it is SOOO worth it for my LO, but part of me wonders how envious I will be of all my friends who will continue to go on vacations and buy designer jeans and the latest trendy tops. Ugh, I hate myself for even caring, but I do...

detroitblondie · May 2010

I was sort of forced into SAH because I was laid off when I was 5 months pregnant. Between being obviously pregnant and trying to find a job & not wanting to put my son in daycare we decided it would just be best if I stayed at home. I went from making a LOT of money myself to having to make it on one income... I don't regret my decision for anything. Even though have not been on a "real" vacation, I no longer buy anything full price, and I haven't had a pedicure since I don't know when. Pre-SAH it would not be unlike me to spend $400 in one shopping trip for clothes, shoes, etc. Nor would I have balked at the idea of spending $250 for a haircut/color. However, I think my spending habits would have changed anyhow just by becoming a mom. Since I now SAH my priorities have so changed and, in my opinion, definitely for the better. I now appreciate the little things in life and cherish our time together as a family raising our kids more than anything. Of course I sometimes miss being able to get a pedicure or buy a whole new outfit at the drop of a hat but I've also come to realize that at the end of the day NONE of that stuff matters. What matters most is my family and our time together. As far as my friends that are still able to go out and buy those designer jeans and $300 handbags- well, good for them. I still think I see the real blessing (& it's something money can't buy).

norbert5 · May 2010

I am dealing with the jealousy right now. My friends are taking their 7month old daughter to Hawaii and Scotland this year plus a bunch of other little trips, they go shopping all the time, they do fancy dinners. . .you get the point.

I just started to be a SAHM so I haven't found any ways to really deal with the jealousy yet. I do pick the activities carefully that I do with them because I it sucks to be the one standing around while everyone else is spending money.

Sorry I couldn't be more helpful, but I totally get it.

ariel06 · May 2010

I ended up becoming a SAHM because of a layoff too. For me, it's been the best thing in the world. I will admit that the lifestyle changes were a little bit hard at first.

BritClen · May 2010

I was in your shoes when I had my LO...

we knew there was a chance I would be laid off before I had DD, but once I had her they still wanted me to come back (only for two months) this was so stressful for my pregnancy bc we had just bought a new house and like you we were use to a nice life style and didn't stress about money.

once I was laid off, I looked for a job but with how the economy is right now, I had a hard time fighting work with the same pay (which is important bc daycare took up just one of my checks)

I still look for jobs but I have been home since November with DD is was stressful at first bc of money, but DH and I did a lot of things to reduce our bills...like refinance cars and cut back on extra bills (gym, net-flex) it all really added up and we are honestly so busy that we hardly notice that we dont get to do those things anymore.

Lastly DH went to his boss and asked for a raise (gave his reason bc of me staying home) and they did...I dont know if this possible for you but its worth a try.

Overall I am happy to have a chance to stay home with DD and I know cutting back on shopping, and fun stuff is hard and we had to save all year to take a trip but you will be surprised on how easy you will adjust to not buying designer clothes and finding local fun for you and your LO to enjoy!

It was honestly hard for me the first few months being a SAHM..., I think it was bc I wasn't ready to become a SAHM and it kinda just fell in my lap...but I found balance with going back to school part time...so that one day I can find that job of my dreams

GL!!

BritClen · May 2010

detroitblondie:
I was sort of forced into SAH because I was laid off when I was 5 months pregnant. Between being obviously pregnant and trying to find a job & not wanting to put my son in daycare we decided it would just be best if I stayed at home. I went from making a LOT of money myself to having to make it on one income... I don't regret my decision for anything. Even though have not been on a "real" vacation, I no longer buy anything full price, and I haven't had a pedicure since I don't know when. Pre-SAH it would not be unlike me to spend $400 in one shopping trip for clothes, shoes, etc. Nor would I have balked at the idea of spending $250 for a haircut/color. However, I think my spending habits would have changed anyhow just by becoming a mom. Since I now SAH my priorities have so changed and, in my opinion, definitely for the better. I now appreciate the little things in life and cherish our time together as a family raising our kids more than anything. Of course I sometimes miss being able to get a pedicure or buy a whole new outfit at the drop of a hat but I've also come to realize that at the end of the day NONE of that stuff matters. What matters most is my family and our time together. As far as my friends that are still able to go out and buy those designer jeans and $300 handbags- well, good for them. I still think I see the real blessing (& it's something money can't buy).

I laughed at this bc I took can't remember the last time I had my nails done and i now only get a hair cut (maybe color) once or twice a year....I also got a gift card for my birthday 6 months ago to go get my nails done...I have yet had time to even go use it...

MrsRebecca · May 2010

For me, it really hasn't been all that hard. I am so busy with DS that on the rare occasion we see friends, I am too busy having fun interacting with adults to be jealous of their "stuff."

rissainthesky* · May 2010

another SAHM due to a layoff. Its been 3 weeks so far, its definitely a different lifestyle. I miss disposable income, but I love being with DD.

ElizC · May 2010

You just told the story of my life for the past year. Without even trying our expenses went down. I never realized how much it cost for me to work, besides the daycare factor. I need less clothing since I really only need one wardrobe and few dressy pieces, which I just pull from my old work stuff. We don't eat out as much because I have more time to make dinner. We got ride of our housekeeper, because I had time to clean.

We also lucked out because I qualified for unemployment. I live in a state that has really high unemployment, so I am still getting and will for sure getting it for a few more months. We have used that money to pay off our debt and we are almost debt free now. I honestly have been looking for work, but have only had a few interviews in the past year and no good offers.

lms_bride · May 2010

Your feelings are natural. I think a lot of us have mixed emotions about it sometimes. I think once you settle into it, you will learn to appreciate being a SAHM. But it isn't easy and isn't glamorous. And yes you will probably be envious of friends who are able to spend money on extras that you can't afford. On the other hand, you will be watching your little one grow up and be serving as a wonderful and important role model to him/her on a daily basis while your friends' kids are being shipped off to daycare.

axr8111 · May 2010

Good luck! I hope you find a way to love it. The one thing that keeps me going when I miss work is looking back at old pictures from the last year and a half that I've been SAH. It reminds me that they are growing so quickly and I have a lifetime to work again and only this time when they are small enough to hold and actually want to cuddle with me on the couch. I know I will miss it when it's gone however I wouldn't miss an outfit not purchased. Travel that would be the hard thing for me to give up and so I'm glad we don't have to but maybe you can save other places so that you don't feel like your life is changing too much. Best wishes!

azsheena · May 2010

I could have written your post! I just found out yesterday I will be laid off at the end of the school year. This happened last year too (pure seniority based) and I was recalled 3 days before school started. It was so stressful. I can not do it at 8 months pregnant. We decided I will take a Leave of Absence. If I just wait it out, I could collect unemployment if I don't get recalled but if they do call at the last minute and I reject it, I can't be rehired with the district for 3 years. Taking a leave is the "safe" thing to do.

Everyone is telling me I will be so happy and I know I will. But part of me is sad because this means no pool, no new car and no trips. I do think it will be worth it, but it is a little bit of a shock.

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