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bummed, frustrated and a little guilty

moonrose2715moonrose2715 member
in 3rd Trimester

So I had presented a request to my boss to work primarily from home, coming in for appointments, meetings and as needed.  He has been sitting on it, but our initial meeting was really positive.

I thought at the VERY least he would meet me in the middle.  Well today he calls me and basically just shuts me down.  4 days a week in person, period.

I can't do that.  Under any circumstances, it doesn't work for me.  So now I'm super upset (though trying to hide it- can't deal with the emotions at work, and already feeling the tears well up as I type this)... Essentially I'm sitting here thinking about what my options will be.  I have to make the equivalent of 60% of my salary, so I can find something else for sure (3 days a week basically), but I've pretty much resolved that I will be quitting my job (after maternity of course).

Meanwhile, they've planned a shower for me here next week.  I feel SO guilty letting them do this when I know that I can't possibly return under the constraints they've given me.  I hate this.  Completely and totally hate this.

Where's the compromise you know???

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Re: bummed, frustrated and a little guilty

  • *speedracer**speedracer* member
    why can't you work 4 days a week?
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  • Tulips21Tulips21
    well that sucks... but maybe you will find something better that works for you while you are on leave.  These things often work out better than we expect... perhaps it's time to start your own business... just a thought.
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  • flippy1234flippy1234

    That totally sucks... I just switched to working from home on Tues/Thurs, and may increase that a bit if they let me in a month or so.

    Do you think your boss would cave a little if he knew his other option was you having to quit and find another job?  

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  • itsspykittyitsspykitty
    4 days a week sounds like a dream! Is it not doable for your situation?
    www.jojofromtheblog.com Lilypie Pregnancy tickers Lilypie Second Birthday tickers image
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  • moonrose2715moonrose2715 member

    I refuse to put my child in day care at such a young age.  Don't get me wrong or flame please- there is no judgement against anyone who does this, it just doesn't work personally for me.

    I was prepared to work out a 2-3 day work week (there is enough family locally that I could have made that work), and frankly could do my entire job from home.  I presented the whole thing in such a way that it was clear that I could do my job better if they worked with me.  They are just stuck in old school ways of doing things.

    Actually I know that the reality is that it is one director (not my boss- under my boss) who I'm sure doesn't support the idea.  Two out of 4 of them did support it (I have personal relationships with them and so we had spoken about my proposal).

    More than anything I'm pissed that there was no give at all.  Although I work 5 days a week currently, my job is only 4 days a week, and the 5th day is obligated to a grant (that is done next year anyway).  So they aren't giving me anything at all by giving me 4 days.  I have to wonder if it has crossed his mind that not giving me anything at all will mean they will lose me.

    I'm fairly certain they don't want that (I'm in a unique position that will be very hard to replace because it comes with a HUGE learning curve- as in several years and you still don't know it all)... I just don't know how to approach him and say "you realize that ultimately I can't give you 4 days, so you should really reconsider this" without putting my job (and maternity leave) at risk...

    I am trying to be positive because I haven't been happy for a while and actually do what a job change.  I just didn't think in the first year of having a baby, that would be such a great idea.  And I thought that my job would offer me flexibility... Guess not!

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  • stpetegirlstpetegirl
    Why can't you work four days a week? Also, shouldn't you also feel guilty about taking off 3 months of work and then quitting? That sounds equally crappy to me, if not moreso.
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  • moonrose2715moonrose2715 member

    imagestpetegirl:
    Why can't you work four days a week? Also, shouldn't you also feel guilty about taking off 3 months of work and then quitting? That sounds equally crappy to me, if not moreso.

    I just explained why I can't work 4 days a week, and no, I don't feel guilty.  I won't leave them high and dry (i.e. I would contract or whatever to train my replacement), but have given over 5 years to this company of blood sweat and tears.  I have earned my maternity leave- and they don't pay for it- the state does.

    Flame on that if you want to, but frankly it won't do anything.  I'm very clear on how I feel about that.  I don't want to leave the company immediately after my leave, but also can't give them what they want.  I can't quit without something else to go to, so they may get me for a short time (I know my family will support me in the short run), but ultimately cannot be a full time employee.  I don't have the attitude of "my way or the highway" but apparently they do.

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  • shandarsshandars
    I'm sorry they wouldn't work with you, but unfortunately that is just they way the world works.  I think you are lucky they even considered it, most place would have told you no right away.  I'm great at my job too, but if I told them I couldn't work all five days they would replace me.  They may not be able to find someone as good as I am, but they need someone who could work the hours they needed.  I don't think they are flaming you, I think they are thinking WOW, she's lucky they even considered that.  I appreciate your decision, but it sounds like you need to look for something that isn't full time after LO gets here so you can have the schedule you want.  Good Luck.
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  • *speedracer**speedracer* member

    i could do my job from home too but that's not how life works.  your job is already way more flexible than most people's.

    also, giving this the side eye:  I've pretty much resolved that I will be quitting my job (after maternity of course)

     

    sounds like both you and your boss will be better off when you're no longer working there...

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  • Lambie.Lambie. member
    I think it is shiity you would take maternity leave with a company you have no intent to return to, regardless of who pays. If you want to quit, give them your notice and get out. And clearly they are willing wo work with you by letting you out of the office one day a week. It is you with the "my way or the highway" attitude.
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