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3rd Trimester
doremi29
member
Ugh- so called "friend's" annoying comments (vent)
doremi29
member
So, I just got back from having dinner with a friend. Within the first 5 minutes she asks me, "So how much weight have you put on all together". I say "20 pounds" and she acts like thats a ton....so I explain (since she's never had a baby) that putting on 20lbs by 39 weeks is really pretty good and that my doctor originally told me that I should gain atleast 25. Then she says to me, "well, based on where you started with your weight, I'm sure it's probably good that you only put on 20lbs"......I weighed 150 and and I'm 5'9, so it's not like I was overweight. This is one of many weight comments she's made throughout my pregnancy, but this one just about pushed me over the edge. She has also been totally relentless about our name choice for our LO. She keeps telling me I need to change the name and totally mocks it.
I'm venting here because DH doesn't really care for this friend and if I complain to him, I have a feeling he won't be able to hold back this time.
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Re: Ugh- so called "friend's" annoying comments (vent)
POS+April 2009-M/c May 2009, POS+July 2009-M/c Aug 2009, POS+ Novemeber 2009 -Baby Boy Charlie DOB 07/06/2010, POS+July 2011-M/c and D&C Aug 2011, POS+Dec 2011 -Baby Boy Ethan DOB 07/27/2012, POS+Aug 2013-TWIN BOYS! Jack and Miles born March 23rd 2014!!
"I'll gladly take cold sores over eye herpes" -ElieFin
"Unicorn glitter gives me UTIs." -Leila'sMommy
You need to drop this "friend" and fast.
Uhhh... your friend isn't very nice.
1) SHE clearly has issues with weight. And is ignorant about pregnancy to boot. It sounds like you have a healthy attitude about your weight (as you should, you have gained only 20 lbs) and for whatever reason she is choosing to project her issues onto you.
2) If a friend of mine mocked the name we had chosen for our child, things would get ugly fast. That is NOT COOL.
This girl has issues.
Remind us why you spend time with someone who makes you feel bad.... clearly your husband is on to something you haven't realized yet.
Wow, that's pretty sucky of her. I'm sure she's just feeling insecure about something (not that it excuses her rudeness). In any event though...jeez, who needs enemies? You should just start asking her about HER weight and what SHE'S eating. Bet it would nip that conversation in the bud
She is a douche. No more weight conversations with Mrs. Docheface. if she even goes near the subject distract her with some other subject. No more name conversations with her either.
My mom and one of my sister's doesn't like our name choices so I just tell them to STFU and I never bring up the topic in front of them. I don't give 2 craps what they think so I refuse to listen to their comments. I'm not offended by their comments but, I'm not going to listen. They are entitled to their opinions and I am entitled to ignore them.
HTH
wow. i'm pretty sure i would have gotten up and walked out on here right then and there.
i'm 5'9 and have put on 40lbs!
i'm not really sure when people (especially women!! the irony.) will learn that the only thing you say to a pregnant woman regarding weight is, "You look wonderful!"
We've been long time friends but her new attitude is definately getting old very fast. And yes, she does have weight issues- she just recently lost a bunch of weight through weight watchers. She hit her goal weight and I couldn't have been happier for her. I was always supportive of her and could have cared less about her weight, but I think this is the first time that I technically weigh more than her (since I'm carrying another human being) and I think she feels like its her chance to be the thinner one. I definately think she and I need some time off!!!
WTF? She sounds ignorant.
I had an older lady venting to me that her daughter was X-weeks pregnant (I think 20 or 30 some) and she had gained 20lbs already
I explained that most Dr. want you to gain 25-35 so she wasn't doing bad AT ALL.
I think some people have no clue. Or she is trying to somehow put you down to make herself feel better.....which is dumb because yeah, gaining just 20lbs is absolutely NOTHING!
Cam 6.6.10 - Autism, Global Developmental Delay, Mixed Receptive/Expressive Communication Disorder
Completely agree with above, who is NOT a jerk for wanting to cut someone out like that. RED ALERT: this chick is toxic. Does she have issues with her own weight that she's trying to make you feel bad? 20lbs is great and whatever your weight gain is, it isn't really any of her damn business. She's obviously an insensitive biznatch!!!!!
First off, your 39wk pic looks awesome!!!!
She just doesn't understand. I'm 5'9" and my starting weight was about 140, my doc told me to gain around 30lbs and from what I've heard 30 is the average.
As far as the name thing goes.. we haven't told anyone our final pick for just this reason. For some reason people think that them bashing the name you picked, so long as the baby isn't here yet, is okay...it's not...grrr. If the name is final, then it's the same as them bashing it after the baby is here!
Good girl - take a break from this little wench and enjoy the last days of your pregnancy as a healthy and glowing mama-to-be! I understand the long time friends thing but she is insecure and petty, lets just call it what it is. And you sound like you may be one of the always-try-to-be-nice people who deal with other people's crap.
At minimum, take a break until after baby is born!!
She sounds like a peach.
As far as the name thing goes.. we haven't told anyone our final pick for just this reason. For some reason people think that them bashing the name you picked, so long as the baby isn't here yet, is okay...it's not...grrr. If the name is final, then it's the same as them bashing it after the baby is here!
us too. We're not telling the name until it's here. for DD, when I told my mom the name we picked for a boy, she didn't like it and said "I'll just call him (middle name,)" So annoying. So this time, I'm not telling.
As all pp said, she is not much of a friend. I think she actually sounds jealous.
Sorry this person isn't a friend. A true friend wouldn't act this way.
I could see my sister saying these things to me (playing around ) but still I wouldn't take it from a friend
wow well average weight gain during pregnancy is around 25-35 lbs so she needs to do her research. and btw 20lbs is great !!!! good job!
and if one of my friends talked to me like this id let the man go after her, her comments in my opinion are totally innapropriate and if she isnt told so she will ony continue. She doesnt sound like a friend to me