I'm gonna kick DH in the nads

redshoegirl · May 2010

It's Friday here and we just spoke about weekend plans - at one point I said Ben could watch the boys for a couple of hours on Saturday, not so that I can do anything specific but just so I can get a little break from caring for them 24/7, even if it's just to go get coffee or whatever. He replied, "Oh I can't do that. I have plans. I have to detail the car." Ummm...no. No you do not have plans, nor are you detailing the car. You're going to spend time with your sons and give your wife a chance to regroup.

He hasn't cared for them both by himself for longer than about an hour at a stretch, and I really don't think he understands how draining it is. It's 1pm and I just ate and drank literally for the first time since I got up this morning (yes I know that's bad) because it's been non-stop with the boys. Making sure the car is vacuumed is not high on my priority list. Hmm

(Don't worry - he saw the error of his ways lol.I just wanted to whine for a minute.)

vanceandlori · May 2010

I know how you feel. Sometimes men just don't THINK. Or they don't take things into account. Sometimes the hubs decides to wash the car or do the lawn ... at 3pm, an hour before Brooke bathes and takes a nap. (He puts her to sleep for this nap so I can get a good break/shower)

Then he doesn't realize when it's 5pm and I'm steaming because Brooke is fussy and can't sleep.

I hope he starts to see how much work it is to care for your two little boys and gives you the breaks that you need to keep your sanity and be a good mama.

sanae78 · May 2010

Ugh. They just don't know. I think it takes them a while. Even though B has to watch Kaya when I go to work I don't think it's quite the same as watching her all day because she's mostly sleeping since I work night shift. At least he's getting what it feels like to wake up for feeds. Luckily he hasn't complained about it at all or I'd have to kick him in the nads, too. He's been good about me going out every now and then, too. I wish I had more frozen bm so I could make it a weekly thing!

Married2MrWright · May 2010

LOL! I thinik I wrote a similar post when Libby was the same age as Will and Dash. I think daddies, even the more involved ones, are slow to catch on. The first time J was completely alone with Libby for longer than an hour, he sort of freaked and was all huffy and whiney. And she was already like 8 weeks old. Now? He's a champ. That said, he still hasn't gone grocery shopping with her. I have. It's not that difficult for me because I wear her. She actually likes it.

Glad you were able to get Ben to see that there are other priorities right now...namely you needing some non-baby time. I know that with J being the primary parent during the weekdays that I am "on duty" on the weekends....it's only fair. I embrace it though...I feel like I miss all of Libby's happy morning times during the week and once I get home from work it's time to nurse, bathe and get ready for bed. We do snuggle, sing songs and read books, but with me getting home at 4 p.m. and trying to get her down by 6-6:30 p.m. there's not much fun time.

We're already talking about introducing solids and which meals we'll do it for. It's important to both of us to have meals together as a family and to establish that ritual from the start. In the beginning, J wants to do breakfast and lunch and I want to do lunch and dinner. The issue? I'll rarely be there for breakfast and he'll rarely be there for dinner. So, we shall see what the final decision is...

Hang in there mama...someday soon...Ben will be able to take the boys to get the car detailed (I am assuming he takes it some place)...it will be a boys day out and you'll have the whole, quiet house to yourself!

MrsNJSwimmer · May 2010

i love the title of this!!!!!!! lmao

Since DH has LO all week during the day, I take him on the weekends while he sleeps until some ungodly hour.

HulaLove · May 2010

Russ and I have had LENGTHY discussions about this sort of thing.

nuff said!

MauiWedding08 · May 2010

ha, this reminds of a fun little exchange DH and I recently had.

he cuts the grass every 2 weeks. He likes to cut it in sections so he's not out there for 4 hours at a time, but lately he has had to do it all at once one weekend day. He comes in and I'm stressed out from being cooped up with Jack all day. He says he needs a "break" from working so hard and proceeds to go watch TV in the basement. GRRRR. fast forward a few days - I needed to get the garden planted. He would come home from work and I would hand off Jack and go out and do the yardwork. I would come in and he would be frazzled and told me that gardening was a "break" for me. UMMM WTHeck?! How is gardening any different than mowing, if anything gardening (planting) is harder b/c I was mentally figuring out what we needed/where etc. Mowing is just back and forth mindless activity. still not sure we are on the same page...

mrspresley · May 2010

redshoegirl:
"Oh I can't do that. I have plans. I have to detail the car."

seriously? Huh? I think that is why God made women mothers and not men!

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