Sexy time = FAIL!!

stgn01 · May 2010

So I tried to get DH to do the deed with me last night. I'm super uncomfortable and just want to get this baby out! He said he was all freaked out and didn't want me to be in any pain. (Last time we had sex, I had pre-term contractions that were painful and landed me in L&D for a time). We've been on pelvic rest ever since.

He doesn't want my body to go into labor if it's not time and end up with a c-section and then have DH feel responsible. He said if baby isn't out by this time next week, he'll oblige! At least he gave me a back rub instead Wink

kara975 · May 2010

Mine is always offering to "help ripen my cervix" lol, it's sad to see what sex has come to because of pregnancy Smile

Snugshine1018 · May 2010

I feel guilty because the last few times for us - I've giggled through most of it. It is usually pretty easy for me to find humor in just about everything. Apparently, our intimate time isn't off limits! I giggle because it is such a struggle for both of us to be comfortable and enjoy it. At least my sweet hubby knows I'm not "laughing" at him! :0)

stgn01 · May 2010

Yeah, I also told DH I wanted to use him for his super sperm. I don't think that went over too well.

KLA_07 · May 2010

My DH won't even think about it, and we haven't been told not to! He's totally freaked out that the baby will kick him, so he won't even try. ARGH!

lil_princess_55110 · May 2010

My DH is also terrified but I explained that I still need to feel that he is attracted to me...not to mention the benefit to my cervix. Once he finally took the leap I think he realized he could actually still enjoy himself (!) without too much worry.

MagieG · May 2010

Maybe the reminder that sexy time will likely have a bit of hiatus once baby comes "so get it while you can" could convince him?

JenniferS8 · May 2010

I'm only 6 months and my husband is totally freaked out by "it." When I try to talk to him about how I feel and how I need to feel wanted he thinks I'm pressuring him into it. He says it's just weird because I'm getting bigger. Ugh!

slrosenbaum · May 2010

My husband seems to be ok with the lack of sexy time since I hit my 3rd trimester. Everything was going along smoothly (some days he didn't even make it up the stairs! :-) ) and then hit 27 weeks and my drive went pphhbbtt! We've tried a few times since then, but its been so uncomfortable and painful for me that we never get anything accomplished. We're both a little weird about it because baby Penny moves ALL THE TIME, but sometimes its frustrating. We've discussed it and talked about it, and he's ok with it. We do other things to satisfy each other, but its just not the same!

Ginger98 · May 2010

My DH asked me last night if it was ok & said he'd been thinking he'd like to for a couple of days now, but wasn't sure if I had restrictions now or what. I did warn him a few days ago that I can now express colostrum, but it's not leaking out on its own- I actually found out by accident. I told him I thought it might have turned him off, which he admitted it had for a little bit, but he also got to thinking about the hiatus after delivery. We actually don't have sex all that often (TMI, I know), & I did laugh & tell him he was sadly mistaken if he thought I had been waiting around for him to make a move! I have a toy box for a reason.

MEGettinger · May 2010

Our doctor recommended frequent sex (what a great physician!) for our past two visits, but it's still hard trying to convince DH. Last time i tried to set the mood by lighting candles all around the bedroom, he laughed and said it looked like I was sitting in a cemetery!! It was quite the unhappy cross-cultural moment for me (we don't do the candles in graveyard thing so much here in America, so the thought never crossed my mind). Of course, I burst into tears (thanks, pregnancy hormones!) and was absolutely OUT of the mood myself then! The whole thing absolutely fell into the category of Sexy time = FAIL for sure. Note to self: candles do not set the right mood for my husband. Note to husband: late pregnancy hormones are a beast!

HarkelAD · May 2010

kara975:
Mine is always offering to "help ripen my cervix" lol, it's sad to see what sex has come to because of pregnancy

Mine was more than willing to help riped my cervix! LOL We have sex every night, even once my cervix was ripe. It was just a quickly, and I wasnt crazy about it (only could do one position in the end), but the memory of it made us both happy during the 6 weeks of no sex.

To OP, I think my husband would be terrified to do the deed too if it sent me into preterm labor before!! I feel for you both...you for no sex, and him for being scared.

Kialyah · May 2010

I've been through both extremes (DHs fear of doing it and wanting it all the time) so I can relate! With our first, he was freaked out by the mere thought of hitting the baby in the head! LOL I had to ask my OB to have a talk with him to reassure him that this was impossible. The 2nd time around, I basically used him to help me ripen my cervix.... which didn't work at all! This time around, he's the one who's excited about having plenty of sex, but since I know I'm having another c/s, I'm totally not into it. Poor guy! He has to suffer in a totally different way with each baby!

Kitiara5512 · May 2010

It sucks because I want it all the time but since he gets home over an hour after I do and then needs time to relax, by the time he gets to bed I am too tired. If I try to initiate, he says he feels pressured, but at least he has volunteered several times to take care of me without having full on sexy time - he doesnt quite get thats why I have my toybox too. Last night I was happy because he initiated, and then was asking what position was comfy for me because he didnt want to crush my belly or anything. I think right now we are going about a week in between rounds, which is driving me insane, but after reading some other posts, seems I should count myself as very lucky.

rocket2japan · May 2010

I don't think my DH is afraid of it. He still wants it and tells me I'm sexy. I'm the one having the trouble. It's so awkward and uncomfortable at this point but I'm due in 3 days and I am ready to see this baby! Maybe tonight is the night!

vmacjen · May 2010

Thank you for this post! I've been feeling like a freak because all I hear about is how pregnant women have an increased sex drive. I feel like mine has all but disappeared! It has nothing to do with my husband, I just can't seem to get comfortable or sexy with this huge belly in the way ( or all the wonderful pregnancy symptoms that accompany it). And most of the positions pregnancy books recommend just don't work for us. I'm glad there are others out there.

mdog182 · May 2010

I also have pretty much zero sex drive. I feel terrible because I know that my fiance wants to and tries to but I just can't get over how I feel. We tried a couple of times while on our babymoon a couple of weeks ago and since we hadn't had sex in at least a month before that, it was painful and I just did NOT feel sexy at all. My poor fiance feels like it is about him, like I'm not attracted to him but it's totally not! Now I have the extra fear that we may start preterm labor.. not for any legitimate reason, I just have this feeling that we are going to have sex, it's going to suck anyway, AND i'll go into labor.

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