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newinhouston
member
It's amazing what I've discovered about my mom and in-laws!
newinhouston
member
My mom came to stay with us for 5 weeks right before Elena was born. Then my in-laws came for another 5 weeks. I've learned so much by seeing them with Elena.
My mom's always been very progressive and career-oriented. She didn't cook, clean, iron, etc when we were growing up. I've always assumed that she was the same when me and my sister were babies. Turns out she's really the best at taking care of babies. She's a pro at diapering, bathing, soothing, and playing with babies! My dad says she was just like that with us.
My mother-in-law on the other hand, seems very nurturing...She was a homemaker, and it's a wonderful cook. But, she's not any good at taking care of Elena. I had to teach her how to change diapers, and when Elena cries my MIL just stares at her. My husband is in shock 'cause he always thought of his mom as the best caretaker ever! (after much prodding my in-laws admitting about having both a maid and a nurse when Juan was a baby. My MIL just fed Juan and the nurse took care of the rest).
Did you learn anything about your own parents and/or in-laws by seeing them with your baby?
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Re: It's amazing what I've discovered about my mom and in-laws!
I don't have children but I've learned a lot from watching my MIL with my nieces and nephews. ::shudders:: When they had hiccups as babies, she would use her saliva to make the sign of the cross on their foreheads.
btw, I love the name Elena, it's at the very top of our baby name list!
Me: PCOS/Amenorrhea DH: Azoospermia due to Y Chromosome Micro Deletion IVF w/ ICSI on hold until further notice
Hope
I've learned that my mom is an awesome toddler grandma. She was good as a baby grandma, but I think she's suited for older kiddos. I love watching my daughter and nieces gush over grandma.
My MIL is more nurturing, patient and kind than I ever could have imagined. She's great with DD and we're so blessed to have her.
I have always thought of my mom as not a "kid" person, but she has taken to DS! I feel bad b/c she has 2 granddaugthers (4 and 8), and she has never seemed *as* interested or excited to see them as DS (maybe I am just not around when she sees them, but just my observation). I think the other grandkids kind of "broke her in" and plus, I have a blog, so I think she feels closer to DS even though she hasn't seen him in person but twice since he was born. She always harps on my sister to get a blog.
I am surprised that my ILs haven't wanted to see DS more. They are only 30 min. away. We invite them over for dinner, etc., and they will decline. I always think in the back of my mind - don't you want to make time to see your GS (it's their only GC in the area)? They only really see him when we make the time to go up to their house.
My mom has really been there for us, especially since we added a second child to our family. When DH travels for long stretches she will sometimes come and stay for several nights to help out. I can tell that she truly enjoys grandparenting. She loves to hear about what the girls are doing, and when she comes for visits she'll play with them, bake cookies, take them for wagon rides, et cetera. It's a HUGE help and the girls love spending time with her.
MIL is the type of grandmother who has tons of toys at her house. She bought a crib so the girls would have a place to sleep at her house when they were infants, she bought carseats and sippy cups, et cetera. She and FIL live in Kingwood and they keep the girls overnight at least once a month. They usually keep them one at a time so it's their special time with them, one-on-one.
My dad and stepmother are great with the girls but don't ever offer any help, which is okay. They rarely visit as a couple and would much prefer we get in the car and drive four hours to visit them. My dad will sometimes come by himself for a quick overnight but my stepmother hardly ever comes.
My MIL is wonderful with the toddler/preschooler age group. I wish I had her patience and wish they lived closer.
I wish my mother was well. I know she would have spoiled my kids rotten and would have been very involved in their lives.
Is it weird that neither are very good with babies? And they're completely opposite personalities. I was really shocked to come to that conclusion about my mom - my mom is very caring and doting and this is GC#5. Not so much my MIL, GC#1 but she's really a detached and formal person anyway. She had 3 boys and said that girls were a foreign concept to her.
My mom is much better with the older kids. She is constantly taking my nieces and nephews to things like Disney on Ice, Sea World, the beach, etc. My nieces and nephews absolutely adore her and beg to go to Gia's house all the time.
MIL hands her off the second she whines... yet she has asked a few time about when L would be able to stay overnight. They think every problem can be solved by trying to rock her to sleep. Or by feeding her.
Everything she does is a sign of hunger to them: every little peep, coo, or even when she sucks on her finger or sticks out her tongue, 20 minutes after eating is met with a, "Oh! She looks like she's hungry!" Or if she has just gotten up from a nap and has finished eaten, they try to rock her back to sleep. Even though I've just said that it's playtime. And since awake time comes after eating in her routine, L gets mad... which means she must be hungry.
My MIL claims to love babies. What she loves is sleeping, quiet, babies. When Mar actually cries or needs something, she's rendered helpless and just hands her off to me or my husband. She's better with her as a toddler, but gets really worn out quickly with her. I think some of her discomfort might be from the fact that she views Marion as her DIL's baby rather than her sons's baby, if that makes sense.
My mom is awesome, if a bit possessive of her. When she was a baby, all my mom wanted to do was to hold her and feed her and hold her, when what I really needed her to do was the laundry and the dishes. I could hold and feed my baby just fine, thank you. Now that she's a toddler, my mom is the most amazing grandma ever. She's constantly playing with her and has an endless source of patience with her. And she helps me now too. I love it when my mom comes to visit!
My step mom has always been amazing. Always. She'll help with the baby or with housework. She anticipates our needs and is just fantastic. I wish she could live with us, or at least closer than seven hours away.
My step-MIL. Bah. She won't touch her for fear of getting her Gucci dirty.
j+k+m+e | running with needles
My dad is awesome with older toddlers and bigger kids. He's nervous with little babies.
My mom is awesome with tiny babies. She's ok with older kids, but is uncertain about what toddlers and preschoolers can do/should be able to do.
My MIL is really good with very young children (babies-maybe 6) because she has so much patience, but she doesn't get kids older than that.
My parents really enjoy grandparenting and are definitely more inclined towards non-babies, though my mom was somewhat helpful even when K was a baby. They just like to do more interactive things with her than you could really do with a baby....like cook and play outside, go boating, etc.
My MIL has been shockingly uninvolved and has rendered little to no help whatsoever, from the get-go. Interestingly enough, HER mom (my DH's grandmother) cared for my DH and his brother DAILY from babyhood to the start of school, so that MIL could work. And I honestly thought MIL would want to be significantly involved as well--from comments she made, etc. Nothing could be farther from the truth. She's never interested in coming to activities of K's (dance, soccer, school functions, etc) and doesn't even "get around to" giving her birthday/Christmas gifts...or if she does, it's an afterthought. Granted, MIL has some issues (medical & mental), but I have to say that I'm quite dissappointed in her overall lack of involvement in general. My daughter openly favors my mom but it's really no wonder considering how involved she is.
My mom is not a baby person. I probably could have guessed that, but now I realize that she really prefers older kids that are more interactive. That being said, she will do whatever I need. She is very in tune with my needs as her "baby." She sent me and my husband out on little dates when William was a newborn because she could tell I needed to get out for a bit. She was more than happy to watch tiny, squirmy baby W as long as it helped me in some way.
My mother-in-law is the epitome of a doting grandmother. She would spend every waking moment with him if I would let her.
My mom is awesome. She has always been a baby lover but she isn't really instinctual about it. I have to give her a lot of direction and her inclination is always to spoil them. I understand that but some routines and rules exist for a reason and they are both a little young for some types of spoilage. She lives 2000 miles away but comes as often as she can, probably 4x a year or even more if something is going on and I need her.
My ILs are also wonderful. They are definitely more older kid people (my nieces and nephew in Austin spend several weeks there a year- during summer, spring break, etc... but the youngest couldn't stay over night until she was out of diapers and no longer needed someone to lay with her to go to sleep). I knew they were older kid people but have been surprised at how good they have been with both boys as babies. Now, my MIL loves to take Tru to the park and do bigger kid stuff with him but she still makes some time to be with Mathis, which is sweet. They live 4 hours away but are also willing to drive up and help out whenever we need them.
I wasn't really surprised by any of it. My mom is better with Reagan now that she is older but that's more due to her cerebral palsy and the fact I wouldn't let her hold the kids when they were babies. Reagan will talk with her on the phone which she loves, plays with her though some stuff is hard for my mom, runs to hug her etc.She has never changed a diaper but I believe it would be hard for her.
MIL is just fantastic no matter the age. She's great when they are tiny and knows just what to do at every age. She's also worked with children of all ages throughout daycare for a good chunk of her life. She's happy to do whatever needs to be done, even diapers. She doesn't push things on us but is there for advice and anything we need.
FIL is good with the older kids. He doesn't know much about the babies. He's happy to hold a baby but when they start to cry he will quickly had the kiddo off. He's certainly not going to change a diaper. He also traveled and was gone a lot when his kids were little so I don't think he's quite comfortable around the little ones.
I really wish my IL's lived closer.
Crazy Christmas Kids!
I wasn't really surprised by either. My mom is great with Cooper but she's also not pushy. She'll ask me what I think and then usually follow my direction. If I ask her for advice, she tells me what they did but adds a "that was 25 years ago..." to the end. My mom came the first week we were home with Cooper and there is no way I could have made it without her. We do well together and we know each others boundaries.
My MIL does pretty well with Cooper. Sometimes she makes some odd suggestions that make me want to give the side-eye. It bugs me a little that she seems to only want to do the "fun stuff" and I have to ask for help when it comes to anything other than playing with Cooper. Part of that is because my mom is so hands on and would do everything for me so I have to remind myself that they are two different people.