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1st Trimester
Cousin lost her baby (warning: very sad)
We had a big family reunion for my husband's side of the family on Saturday and I spent the day talking to his cousin's wife who was almost 21 weeks pregnant. She was so excited to find out what she was having this week and very happy to be past the halfway mark since she'd had a few early miscarriages while trying to conceive. On Sunday afternoon her mother-in-law called my mother-in-law to tell us her membranes had ruptured and they were in the ER. The only info we have after that is the doctor recommended they induce and she gave birth this morning around 7. The baby only lived a few seconds. I am so so so sad for her loss and don't even know what to say. She knows I am also pregnant - it's all we talked about - so I feel like hearing from me might only make things worse.
On a super self-centered note, I can't stop Googling pROM and facts about viability and chances of this happening to me. I tried to talk to my husband about how scared her loss makes me but he refuses to join the conversation. All he'll say is "It doesn't matter. It's over." But it's NOT over, this poor woman is going to mourn her child forever.
Sorry I'm rambling, I just don't know what else to do right now. Thanks for listening.
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Re: Cousin lost her baby (warning: very sad)
What a terrible situation, but you shouldn't worry too much about it happening to you. I would just phone and let her know you're still there for her. Make it short and sweet and if she wants to reach out, you'll be there.
I am so sorry for your cousin's loss OP!!
And, I really don't think the OP meant any harm, or was trying to offend anyone by posting this.
My heart breaks for her
((( Sending my thoguhts and prayers to your whole family.
OMG that is awful. Prayers to your family.
I think guys don't want to think about it. He is probably scared too but doesn't want to speak about it or "it will happen" kinda thing.
My DH got really upset when I told him about my dream of one of my babies falling out of me and dying in the shower. I was pregnant with twins. I knew something was wrong. When I went to the U/S I asked if they were both there. Only 1 heart beat. He said we shouldn't of ralked about it....very supersticious....
Don't drive yourself crazy it is sooooo not worth it. Everything is fine and relax and enjoy your pregnancy. SIL probably doesn't want to freak you out either because you are pregnant!
This.
OP, I'm sorry for their loss!
Agreed.
OP, I am so very sorry for this loss in your family. My heart breaks for your cousin and her DH. It's hard to not be affected emotionally by something like this, but remember, it is rare. There is nothing that we can do to prevent what may happen in the future. All we can do is enjoy our pregnancy at this moment. ((hugs))
I'm not trying to be rude either but the OP clearly stated in the title what the post was about. I think if posts like these upset you, you should probably skip them. I think regardless if you've experienced a pregnancy loss or not, it's always a little scary but you can't hide from the reality that people do lose pregnancies. The OP just needed to vent her own sadness and fear which is pretty common on these boards.
To the OP-I'm so sorry for your cousin's loss. Her and her family will be in my T&Ps
I thought about posting it on the loss board but thought my own healthy pregnancy tickers and lack of miscarriages would be harder on them than on those of us still enjoying our babies. I'm sorry if you think it was insensitive, but I did warn in the title that it might be upsetting.
i agree. Posting this on mc/pl would have been a bit tough for many of the women there. I think this is very sensitive of you. I also think you're a very good friend and cousin. God bless you and your family during this difficult time.
I would send a card/letter and let her know you are thinking of her. Maybe call in a week or 2 if you don't hear from her. She may want some time.
PLEASE don't scare yourself with this- I know people who've lost babies a week PAST their due date, and also at about 20 odd weeks. It's no use worrying about it, when there's nothing you can do.
T&P
I am so sorry for your family's loss. I would reach out but in a way where she can decide when she wants to talk. Maybe send dinner gift certificates along with a card or some other comfort items they will need in the coming weeks.
Also, reach out to her in a few months when the crowds have died down. And send a card on the baby's birthday next year. Things that let her know you are thinking of her.
I think you made the right call. The mc/pg loss board wouldn't be the place for this story and while many here are nervous, she did warn them AND this is real life, you can't hide from it unfortunately.