Baby shower etiquette in a different culture.

twopeasinapod · May 2010

I am am throwing a shower for an friend. She and I are both from the US so we totally get baby shower etiquette but a bunch of the people on her guest list have never been to a shower before. We're holding it at a bakery that serves tea and everything decorates the room for a celebration for us so pretty much all I have to do is show up as far as that goes. BUT tons of the guests are asking questions I don't know how to answer without coming across as greedy. The first is, "Should I bring anything?" The other is "Who should we get a present for, mom baby or both?"

How do you say, "Bring presents!" Without coming across as greedy?

Also if you could suggest ideas for what we can do to make the shower personal in a public setting, I would appreciate it.

Thanks!

Mrs. Viss · May 2010

Is she registered? If so, you can just tell them she where she is registered.

twopeasinapod · May 2010

No. Registries here really don't exist.

DaniLovesPink · May 2010

I would have included the registry information with the invitation, but otherwise, say, "If you choose to bring a gift for the baby, Jane is registered at Babies 'R Us." If not, you could still say, "Some people choose to bring a gift for the baby, which you can do if you choose." Perhaps they know that gifts are customary, but aren't sure if you would like them to bring a dish to pass. If I'm attending a shower, I always ask if there's anything I can bring or do, just as a courtesy to the hostess, but know that I should bring a gift for mom-to-be, even without asking.

I would also get favors and/or centerpieces to help personalize the shower a little more, but there's not a whole lot you can do in the instance of a public venue.

CourtneyR2N · May 2010

No you don't need anything, refreshments are set.

Bring whatever present you would like the mother-to-be will love what ever.

And to make it more personal, what about getting some baby pictures of the mother and father to be and placing them around. Do they have any good u/s pictures you could get and frame for people to look at? I went to one shower and they had a really good 3D picture and they put it by the sign in book.

finger_lakes09 · May 2010

twopeasinapod:
No. Registries here really don't exist.

ooooo- that makes is so much hard.

I'd just be honest and explain it....something like "Traditonally, when a women has her 1st baby we get all her female (am am assuming you did not invite men) family and friends together to celebrate her...we do this by "showering" her with baby items that she will need / want once the baby comes. and by eating, playing games, and just overall celebrating this wonderful time in her life"

5de5 · May 2010

We have good friends from Amsterdam, and I know showers are not customery there. I"m guessing people are asking because they really do want to know/do the right thing. I would answer the first question with a "we have everything covered" becuase "should I bring anything" is different than asking about the gifts. But when they directly ask about gifts I would say "it is customery to buy something for the baby or the mom."

twopeasinapod · May 2010

excellent ladies. good thoughts. I''m not very eloquent and you have helped a ton with wording!

Her mom is sending me pictures to put on the table. Otherwise, I think we'll just skip games and stuff and just do the tea

k.martell · May 2010

finger_lakes09:
I'd just be honest and explain it....something like "Traditonally, when a women has her 1st baby we get all her female (am am assuming you did not invite men) family and friends together to celebrate her...we do this by "showering" her with baby items that she will need / want once the baby comes. and by eating, playing games, and just overall celebrating this wonderful time in her life"

That reply is perfect, word for word, IMO.