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Are DH and I overreacting? (long!)

jdouglas84jdouglas84 member
in Babies: 3 - 6 Months

I'm going to be in my friend's wedding in September, which will be in the same town as where my parents live, so the obvious thing to do would be to get my parents to sit DD while DH and I are at the ceremony and reception. After this weekend, we are totally reconsidering, and thinking about having my IL's come to our house to watch DD while we are busy with the wedding.

 When we get to my parents house, my mom says she bought DD an outside swing and wants to put her in it. I look at it and say I think she's too small for it, but I set her in the swing anyway to see how she fits. We strap her in and yes, she is totally too small for it, and I say I want to take her out. So what does my dad do? He starts pushing her in it! I take her out anyway, and they get all disappointed because they can't see her swing. (In Walmart today, I check out the swing, it's for 9-48 months, WAY too big for DD right now). 

Next, my mom is holding DD in the backyard, and my dad is playing fetch with the dogs. They have 4 big dogs (2 pitbulls, 1 german shepard, and 1 labrador retriever). One of the pits was provoked in a fight with another pit they used to own; the other dog had to be put to sleep because she started the fight, and the one pit they still own was hurt pretty bad. So these dogs make me nervous, which my mom knows. So the dogs are running around, and I tell my mom to step back because I don't want a dog knocking her down while holding DD. She argues with me and says she's fine. I ask her again, and she still argues with me. Finally I ask her a 3rd time, as a dog almost knocks into me, and she still refuses to move, so I take DD in the house.

Apparently, when I was in the house pumping, DH tells me my mom was holding DD while she was weeding the flowerbed, and DD got dirt all over her hands and legs (DH didn't tell me this until we got home). Oh, and my 23 year old brother who still lives at home, wanted to give DD pickle juice so he could "see her make a funny face."

What irritates me is that my family treats DD like a toy, or a baby doll. I mean, yeah she's a big baby, but she's still only 5 months old, and they need to be gentle with her. They also don't listen to me, so what makes me think they would listen to my requests when they are babysitting her? I know if I tell my mom that IL's are going to watch DD for the wedding, she's going to start major drama (again) between us, because that's just how she is. 

Are DH and I totally overreacting about how my family is around her? I don't want to feel like I'm one of those super protective parents, but I don't feel like they are doing the safest things around DD. 

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Re: Are DH and I overreacting? (long!)

  • jdouglas84jdouglas84 member
    imageroxstarrgirl:

    I don't think you're overreacting, and I don't think you'd be able to enjoy your time at the wedding if you were worried about DD the whole time, which you most likely would be.

    Maybe just tell her DD isn't ready to be away from home for a weekend and it will just work out better for your IL's to come to your house, so DD will be in her own environment. 

    Thanks for reading my super long post! That's a good idea...I mean it's going to be a long day, and since I'm in the wedding I need to be up that way even sooner to get ready. DD will just be more comfortable staying at home.

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  • vmm0016vmm0016
    I would do exactly what the pp said!
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  • firefleye7firefleye7
    Oh man, I am on your side! Call the inlaws! I agree w/ PP say it will be more comfortable for DD to stay in her own surroundings. Good luck!
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  • mattmacmattmac
    I don't think you're overreacting at all.  The dogs alone would be enough that I wouldn't even take DD over there AT ALL - let alone the other craziness.  Even when I'm with her!  It only takes one time for one of those dogs to bite/attack her. 
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  • itkatydid@gmail.comitkatydid@gmail.com member

    I am totally on your side. The dogs are a deal breaker for me. DD will be crawling and walking around soon and those mean dogs fighting around her would be unexceptable to me. It just takes one move for her to get thrown into that situation. Oh, and pickle juice= no effing okay. Why do people want to feed babies stuff they don't eat.

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  • coasties_girlcoasties_girl member
    I would go with your IL's. If your family doesn't respect your wishes when you are there, it seems like they more than likely won't respect your wishes when you aren't there.
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  • jdouglas84jdouglas84 member
    Thanks ladies - your posts make me feel better about our decision.
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  • jonnygurl76jonnygurl76 member

    imagecoasties_girl:
    I would go with your IL's. If your family doesn't respect your wishes when you are there, it seems like they more than likely won't respect your wishes when you aren't there.

    this!!

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  • only1erinonly1erin
    i'd expect my parents to listen to me b/c i'm in charge of my own child and what they can and cannot do. your parents should respect your wishes more. if not, they shouldn't be left alone w/your dd.
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  • Temp6313048411121614Temp6313048411121614 member
    I don't think you're overreacting.  Even if you were overreacting, they need to listen to you, no matter if they think you're being over protective or not, YOU'RE THE MOTHER, they had their turn to do what they wanted with their kids, now it's your turn. 
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  • FlyswmerFlyswmer
    The dogs would be a deal breaker for me as well.  You are most definitely not overreacting.
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  • missa8182missa8182
    NOT overreacting AT ALL.
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  • sleepingbeauty825sleepingbeauty825 member
    Your parents need to listen to you if they want to watch your babe. I think you need to be straight with them, and then consider your options.
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  • Krista123105Krista123105 member
    You are NOT overreacting!  DH and I haven't left DS with IL's for the same reason - they don't respect our wishes with DS when we're in the same room, so why would we think they would respect our wishes with DS when they're alone with him?  Plus, your parents' dogs would make me incredibly nervous.  Go with your gut!
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  • AndrewsMommyAndrewsMommy
    I don't think you're overreacting at all. I have a pitbull, but he's grown up with my 3 year old so he's very used to children. If those dogs aren't used to kids who knows what might happen. You know whats best for your baby, so there's no reason to have to worry about her while you should be having a good time.
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