- Pregnancy
- Baby & Toddler
- Parents
- Getting Pregnant
- Baby Names
- Product Reviews
-
Registry
- Community
-
More
Want a personalized experience?
Download the free app
Stay at Home Moms
Intro and am i being selfish?
Hi ladies,
I was on the pregnancy boards last year with my daughter and am now on 1st tri again. I stay home with my daughter, which is what I've always wanted to do. It was never a question for either of us and I am so glad that I get to 
I have never been on this board before, but look forward to meeting you all!
All of DH and my family is in NC and we currently live in FL. We have friends here, but no real support system as far as a lot of help with our daughter and such. I am really struggling as she gets more active and as I'm pregnant, so feeling bad. Also, I struggle with some health problems that make it a bit harder for me. I LOVE being home with my daughter though and wouldn't have it any other way. DH has a good job here and we really felt like this was where we were supposed to be for a time. I am ready to move back to NC today, where our kids can grow up with family and I will have help and support. Also, I'm really close to my family. DH wants to go back, as we never thought we would settle here, but he isn't as ready as I am. Am I being selfish by wanting to go back so badly, even though he has a job he enjoys and is stable and secure? I don't want to be selfish at all, but his hours are often long and vary week to week and I'm struggling health wise with having the energy to keep up with everything. What do you all think? I really don't want to be selfish! And I am sooo grateful for the job that he has and the friends we have here, but it's not home.
Warning
No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Intro and am i being selfish?
Hi and welcome.
Coming from someone who has moved a LOT I say home is where you make it. But I understand missing your family & friends. So no, I don't think you're being selfish.
I live 3 states away from my parents and it's incredibly hard at times and very sad to think that my daughter doesn't have a great relationship with her cousins & aunties. But we do the best we can.
Have you researched Moms Clubs or meetup.com groups in hopes of meeting some people in your new area? Maybe once you really settle in and meet some great new people you'll feel more comfortable where you are and be able to have that network and help that you're seeking.
If DH could find a job that pays as well, still allows you to stay home, and that he enjoys back at home, then you should definitely talk about moving back. If you would move back just to be struggling financially, or if you'd have to go to work to make ends meet, would it be worth it?
Yes, it's better to be close to family and a support system, but you and DH have to look at the entire situation and decide what's most beneficial for all of you. GL and I hope you find a way to make it work!!!
I completely understand how you are feeling. We moved to KY from TN(where we both grew up and all of our family/friends is) when I was 25 weeks pg with DD. It was very difficult and I wanted to go "home" every day for a while. I think that is normal to feel that way and I don't think it is being selfish.
If your DH can get a job that pays well and he is happy doing in NC and you can still SAH, I would consider moving back. It would be great to have family and extra support system around especially with 2. We don't have that option and may never being able to move home. Good luck!
Ditto. I definitely want and NEED my DH to be happy at his job. Having no one around does stink (I have 3 kids and no help around), but it wouldn't be my main reason for moving somewhere...........
I also second joining a Mom's club. I belong to my local chapter of momsclub.org - without this club I would have been VERY miserable, since none of my old friends are close by.....