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Coping question

thegastonsthegastons
in Miscarriage/Pregnancy Loss

If you have a DH that deals with tough stuff by being completely withdrawn and won't talk, how have you dealt with your feelings in regards to a loss?

I'm pretty much a mess mentally right now knowing that within the next week I know this pg journey will be done, but I don't feel like I can turn to my best friend (DH) to talk to because I feel very guilty for "making" him feel worse when voicing my feelings on the matter.

TIA ladies...and sorry that my first two posts on this board are so whiney :(

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Re: Coping question

  • stellahavstellahav
    With my first loss, I felt like I was burdening people when I talked about it.  Even DH.  I started writing (typing) all of my feelings.  It helped so much to get it out of my system.  You might even get to the point where you can share it with DH.

    It took awhile for my husband to come around and for both of us to realize why I was SO sad, and he just wasn't.  And he's at least willing to talk about it now.  Good luck...it's so hard to go through this without your best friend!
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  • Lorange-8Lorange-8 member
    My DH was like that. The first month he really couldn't talk about the baby. He felt it as he needed to be strong for me so he couldn't have his moments. I would say it like being both broken at the same time didn't help either one of us. My DH was looking for a fathers group to go to, we haven't been able to find anything but maybe thats what your husband needs, he wants to be around other fathers who have lost babies and can just open up without you there. I know it sounds harsh but my DH ended up talking to one of his friends that went thru this as well and he's gotten much better.  i mean he still has his moments but he's alot better. Or try and talk to him about it, see how he's doing but don't push it, that would just make him mad. Best of luck with your DH and I'm so sorryf or your loss. My thoughts and prayers are with you! Sending hugs!!!
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  • shouldbworkinshouldbworkin
    We just talk about it in little spurts here and there.  When I see an opening, I take it. 
    DS1 age 7, DD age 5 and DS2 born 4/3/12
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  • magdalina.hmagdalina.h member
    I've been very open with MH. If he is getting overwhelmed with me talking about Aidan he lets me know and then I usually come here or my blog. We'll always be here to listen and I'm assuming your dh will too. Just let him know that you need to talk and if it's too much for him to let you know. 
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