Hello, let me introduce myself first..
For the first 30 years of my life, everything was smooth and worry-free. I was my parents’ most beloved child, found my true love in college, and happily married him after graduation.
At work, I was my boss’s most valued employee. Whenever I was in charge of a project, colleagues would inevitably say, “Oh, then I’m totally at ease.” I was constantly named “Employee of the Year,” with generous bonuses every year.
Later, I started my own business. Within just three months, I had broken into the market and started making money. By the fifth month, I was earning twice my previous salary. Growth was steady month after month. Right when the business needed more hands, I serendipitously met an amazing partner, and the company reached a whole new level.
Really, it seemed like at every step, whatever I needed, a pair of hands would always place it right in front of me, just in time.
My Two Girls: Ellie & Mia
Meet Ellie, My Firstborn
In 2020, my husband and I decided to have a child. After trying for over a year, we finally got the news in 2021 that a little one was on the way. In 2022, we welcomed our first child, Ellie. She made me a mother.
She is utterly adorable—big eyes, rosy skin, chubby little hands. Every time I look at her, I can’t help but give her a kiss. She is pure joy, and I love her more each day.
But as a first-time mom, I faced unprecedented difficulties. The postpartum tearing wouldn’t heal, and the pain was excruciating. Clogged milk ducts made my breasts hard as rocks. The severe sleep deprivation… And what was even more crushing was that, with zero parenting experience, I was clueless when faced with her unexplained wailing, night terrors, refusal to nurse, constipation, diarrhea, fevers… I desperately searched online, longing for one accurate, truly useful answer!
It was during this time that I thought, once I make it through this “dark” path, I must leave a light on for other new moms.
And Then Came Mia
Ellie had just turned one when I got pregnant again. In 2024, we welcomed our second daughter, Mia.
Completely different from Ellie, Mia is a great eater and sleeper. Although she had her fussy moments in the first two months, starting almost from month three, she became super easygoing. She feeds on schedule, gradually sleeps through the night, loves her solid foods, and adapted quickly when I had to stop breastfeeding due to mastitis.
This made me realize just how vastly different babies can be! It made me even more determined to write about my experiences.
Why I Had to Start This Blog
The Catalyst: A Life Pivoted
After Mia was born, my business also began to decline sharply. I had no choice but to close it and become a full-time mom. My work no longer involves Excel and Word, but instead revolves around changing diapers, washing bottles, making baby food, and managing household chores…
This has been a monumental challenge for me. All my past achievements seem irrelevant now. Managing two young children has brought me a sense of frustration I’ve never known before.
The Daily Reality
They are always fighting over things. When one is in my arms, the other immediately demands to be held too. When I try to cook, Ellie wants me to read her a book. When I attempt to load the washing machine, Mia has a diaper blowout, and I must drop everything to change her…
By the time I finish all that, I see the cup of hot coffee on the table has gone cold again. And it’s not until evening that I remember, “Oh my goodness, the clothes are still in the hamper, unwashed!”
Of course, being a mom is filled with happiness, but that doesn’t negate how hard it is.
My Promise to You
Because I’ve walked this path myself, I won’t just tell you how joyful motherhood is, like many websites do. I want to share my real, unfiltered experiences so every new mom can find a “companion” here.
I want to tell you: you are not alone. What you’re going through, I’ve been there too. Your breakdowns, your helplessness, your moments of losing control—I’ve had them all. You don’t need to feel guilty. This is just a small, necessary stretch of the journey for every mom.
My Hope for This Space
I really want to share my parenting experiences—not just the warm, glowing moments, but to honestly document the pitfalls I’ve stumbled into, the tears I’ve shed, and the “survival wisdom” I’ve scraped together in utter exhaustion.
The Goal: A Mom’s Toolkit
I hope this blog becomes a “mom’s toolkit,” filled not with vague theories, but with:
- Practical Tips: Like how to quickly figure out why a baby is crying, tried-and-true methods for dealing with clogged ducts, or how to efficiently manage the daily grind with twins (or two under two) solo.
- Pitfall Avoidance Guides: Sharing the baby products I regret buying the most, and those “game-changer” parenting hacks. Letting you know which parenting anxieties you can let go of, and which principles are worth holding onto.
- A Community for Moms: I hope my stories connect me with more moms like you. We can cheer each other on in the comments, share our own tricks, turning the storms we face alone into a journey we walk together.
The Bigger Vision
My previous career taught me to analyze data, solve problems, and optimize processes. Now, I’m applying all those skills to this new “position” of Mom. I want to prove that a mom’s value is absolutely not confined to the home. The mindset, resilience, and creativity we built in our careers can shine just as brightly—perhaps even brighter—in this more complex, long-term “project” of raising humans, and can even be transformed into a force that helps others.
My hope is simple: that every mom who opens this blog can let out a sigh of relief and say, “So it’s not just me.” Then, she can find a bit of practical info, a dose of comforting solidarity, and return to her sweet, chaotic mom-life with a little more confidence and a little less weight on her shoulders.
This road? Let’s walk it together.
Re: Anyone told they were having a boy and had a girl?
2011 Reading Challenge
Hi, I hopes this helps instead of confirms- but this is what my babys penis looked like in 4D.
Everyone can have their own thoughts but mine are that it was beautiful to see my growing baby in my belly. Hes even smiling. It was amazing to see that!
Thanks for the responses. Yes, the ultrasound pic does help. Just confirms what I saw.
Having a surprise ruined (especially the 2nd time) is not fun and dealing with people responses that are just so negative about having multiple boys ......... is just exhausting. I didn't have a 3rd child to "try" for the girl. I had a 3rd child because we love our boys and wanted to grow our family - boy or girl.
A friend of mine was told her entire pregnancy that she was having a boy. When the baby was born and they said it was a girl,my poor friend was in denial for 24 hours.
You are never 100% sure until the baby is here....
I would hope you wouldnt tell someones born baby they look scary so why would you call my unborn child scary? Beats me. I just think its rude.
--- To the poster- im glad it helped. 3 boys will be amazing if thats they way it turns out! & im glad your happy eirther way! I never do understand why people say negative things about boys- their awesome!
I really dont want to debate any more- you can be right. But I just noticed your ticker. In about a week and a half your baby will be the same age as mine was when I got those done. So on that day you and your hubby can just think how creepy & scary your baby looks rather then precious and beautiful growing in your belly.
I had a couple 3D images at 12 weeks. You want to know why? Well, the tech literally flipped a switch on her keyboard and the image changed so there really was no reason for me other than the tech was showing off her machine. And yes it looked a little odd but not creepy LOL that seems slightly dramatic.
i was supposed to be a boy, as were several of my female friends, but that was in the 80s. my mom even had an amnio so medicine has clearly improved since then.
i don't hear of many mistakes nowadays except, like pps said, when "girls" turn out to be boys. i think 3 little boys will be great but if you do end up with a girl, that will be wonderful, too
Married 8.13.2005, M/C 12/8/06- 5 weeks, M/C 2/27/07- 7 weeks, M/C w/ D&C 8/10/09-6.5 weeks *Charles Lawrence born 5/2/08 @ 3:14am, 7lb 8oz, 20.5 inches. Clomid, Crinone and baby aspirin. *Alexandra Claire born 9/14/10 @ 9:52am 6lb 14oz, 20.5 inches. Femara, Crinone and baby aspirin.
lauren...i have my 3d pic in my siggy too lol
op.. i'm sorry you had your surprise ruined....but maybe you didn't see what you thought you saw? lol..i know that sounds funny....and i didn't see it obviously....but if she wasn't looking right at it maybe you saw something else there instead? not sure lol..just trying to be positive
IVF #1 1/10-transfered 2 blasts- DS born 10/2010
March 2015- Chemical pg
1/25/16- BFP Beta1 12dpo = 17, Beta 2 14 dpo = 28.. resulted in one beautiful boy born 9/21/16
Now I'm a stay at home loving life and pursuing my love of photography!!!
Mama to Sebastian, born 9/2010
What a bummer that you saw something you didn't want to! DH is 1 of 3 boys, and I happen to think my ILs are quite blessed!
I always find it annoying that people show any kind of disappointment at the sex of your child. BIL and SIL keep freaking out that DH and I HAVE to have a girl...well, we really have no control and LO is what it is! Would I love a little girl? Yup. Would I love a little boy? Yup. My preference changes from day-to-day, and honestly, I'll just take a healthy baby! I'm a little nervous to tell them if it is a boy...cause seriously, that is not something worth someone's pity!
pinterest
Wow, this thread is full of inappropriate responses.
To the OP, it's horrible that the people in your life are acting disappointed about your baby. If you don't know what you are having, definitively, then I probably wouldn't be telling F&F about it. Additionally, I am not a sonographer, and I don't know what you saw, but there are often "things" in the ultrasound that look like something that are just artifacts. For instance, there was a "thing" in my 13 week scan that my brother in law (also not a sonographer) decided was a penis or scrotum, and we had to explain to him that the penis was not that developed yet and there WAS no scrotum at that stage of fetal development, so he was imagining things. (The baby turned out to be a girl at the 20 week scan.) What he thought was a "scrotum" was actually an artifact, probably a piece of placenta that got "caught" in the slice of the 3d/4d scan.
If you didn't want to know the sex, you probably shouldn't have looked at the sonogram OR printed out a picture that shows that area of the body. I am surprised they gave that part to you, and the fact that they did probably indicates you aren't seeing what you think you are seeing.
Personally, I'd give anything for more pictures of my ultrasound. She printed out a few pics of the baby's face and nothing else for me. She took a ton of measurements. Why couldn't i have copies of them all?
Lauren's baby looks great to me (precious and beautiful and I love his name!), and guess what, Pieces? Sometimes EVERY ultrasound you get is a 3d one because that's what the doc has in the office. I can't believe you are calling her out because her doctor happens to have superior technology available for his/her patients. I had a NT screening at 13 weeks and a 3d ultrasound and far from being "freaky" it was actually beautiful and wonderful to see such amazing detail of my baby. The anatomy scan I had at 20 weeks was NOT 3d because this doc's office doesn't have any 3d machines, and I'd give anything to see the level of detail again now. I have a whole DVD and dozens of pics for my 13 wk scan and a few grainy snaps for my 20 weeker. Luckily I'll be able to get another 3d scan at the end of July.
I'm sorry your surprise was ruined (or might have been ruined). Again.
Have you told the u/s techs that you are familiar with ultrasound and to be extra careful to tell you to look away at the right times? Because most techs just assume we can't tell an ass from an elbow (which for the majority of us is true
. My best friend is an OB and she wanted a surprise. She had to be very clear at her ultrasounds that she only wanted to see certain images and had to look away for a good portion of the u/s. If she had just stared at the screen like most of us do she would have easily known the sex by the end.
Sorry you are disappointed.
Um, "Chicky?" Really?
I've got news for you, "chicky." 3d/4d scans ARE superior technology, and NO, every ultrasound machine does NOT have the ability to do 3d/4d scans (my one doctor's office DOESN'T and when I showed them the 3D/4D pictures I got at my other's office they specifically asked me if I'd prefer to get all my scans done at the other doctor's because the other one was "much better"), and NO, the point of 3d/4d ultrasounds is NOT *just* to show you "creepy pictures." YES, a regular sonogram can show you some things about organ and bone development. That's pretty much the only accurate part of your post. And still a 3d/4d scan can show you much more, especially in terms of volume and in terms of clarity/accuracy because you aren't just looking at a single plane.
The benefits to getting this kind of scanning include:
* ability of doctors to visualize movement of internal anatomy in real time
*ultrasound guided biopsies thanks to the visualization of needle movements in real time in all 3 planes (this is very common in cardiac patients)
* ability of doctors to detect or rule out things like vascular anomalies, fetal heart abnormalities and certain genetic syndromes (there have been studies showing that 3d/4d ultrasounds can help diagnose CP).
Read these articles for more information about the subject:
* https://www.imagingeconomics.com/issues/articles/2004-12_08.asp
* https://www.bizjournals.com/jacksonville/stories/1999/06/07/focus2.html
* https://www.layyous.com/ultasound/clinicaladvantages.htm
A family member is a sonographic specialist for almost three decades and has even taught at international conventions on the subject. If there were no advantages to a 3d ultrasound other than "pretty/creepy pictures" do you really think that doctors and not just mall photo shops would be investing in them?
Thank you!!! I thought id never come up with a name & as soon as we said Luke Charles- we just knew it was perfect for our little guy!
27 years ago they told my mom I was a boy.
At 16 weeks they told us we were having a boy, then at 18 weeks we found out it was a girl. It happens
My husband just walked by and said 3 boys sounds awesome!
** Don't listen to "pieces", some people have the ability to find something negative in everything. We all know her response was immature.