Zero Tolerance.

futuremrshackney · May 2010

Does anyone else feel this way since becoming pregnant?

While this is a time when I'd like to enjoy the company of my close friends I find some of their behavior so annoying and unreasonable I can't stand to speak with them.

One of my life long friends has been on some pathway of self destruction for the past year. He texted me the other night and stated "I'm 12 beers in, should I take vicodin or tylenol?" I was beyond enraged and texted him back saying "You are ridiculous, you are a diabetic with compromised liver function, you should not be 12 beers in."

He hasn't spoken to me since... and I don't care. He regularly sees a psychiatrist and psychologist, and if he won't stop, then he won't. I've talked to him about stopping before and it goes no where. I just don't feel like I can make any difference, and I don't feel like watching him crash and burn. I don't feel like I'm in the position anymore to burden the weight of everyones crisis, especially self induced ones.

Does anyone else feel this way since becoming pregnant?

mommy411 · May 2010

Good for you for saying something. He sounds like he is crying out....

moonfaerie · May 2010

Co-workers and strangers annoy me more than usual. My friends don't annoy me, but I'm sick all the time and don't feel like hanging out or even talking on the phone much so they don't have as much chance to annoy me.

Shyski · May 2010

Yes. I have a AW-ing friend that sounds VERY similar to yours. I just stopped going out with him because he was a downer - and even when I gave him advice (after he ASKED for it), he would never take it and just kept going down his road of self-pity. It got to the point where I realized he was sucking the life out of me and I had to draw the line. It's sad - I'd like to support my friends, but I can only watch someone hit the same wall for so long. Some people need to just work out their own problems on their own time.

ETA - also, now that we're pregnant our priorities have drastically changed. Family comes first IMO.

BabyS2008 · May 2010

YES!! I have a VERY short fuse lately. I kind of like it!!

brymanda · May 2010

Sounds like you're talking about my sister, however; it was already annoying before I became pregnant.

futuremrshackney · May 2010

Shyski:

Yes. I have a AW-ing friend that sounds VERY similar to yours. I just stopped going out with him because he was a downer - and even when I gave him advice (after he ASKED for it), he would never take it and just kept going down his road of self-pity. It got to the point where I realized he was sucking the life out of me and I had to draw the line. It's sad - I'd like to support my friends, but I can only watch someone hit the same wall for so long. Some people need to just work out their own problems on their own time.

ETA - also, now that we're pregnant our priorities have drastically changed. Family comes first IMO.

I think this is what I have zero tolerance for. Other people (coworkers, family etc.) get on my nerves but ever since I became pregnant I just don't have the patience to deal with people who are always in crisis mode. I think having my child inside of me makes me more aware of what is really important and what isn't. If it were acute instances where people were going through a difficult time I could be supportive, but when its the same thing over and over I don't feel like its worth the energy anymore.

mommacuppycakes · May 2010

I have definitely felt this way. I have no interest is hearing about anyone's drama or expending any extra energy to be social. I have been really sick since about week 5 and I just don't have the energy or desire to listen to my friends b**ch about the problems they created in their lives. All I want to do is focus on my babies. Learning about them, getting ready for them and staying relaxed and not stressed. I think it's normal...I call it mommy-mode, lol.

futuremrshackney · May 2010

mommacuppycakes:
I have definitely felt this way. I have no interest is hearing about anyone's drama or expending any extra energy to be social. I have been really sick since about week 5 and I just don't have the energy or desire to listen to my friends b**ch about the problems they created in their lives. All I want to do is focus on my babies. Learning about them, getting ready for them and staying relaxed and not stressed. I think it's normal...I call it mommy-mode, lol.

Love it.

HappyMommy28 · May 2010

I do feel this way as well. Luckily, I do not have this type of situation. For me its one of my close friends daily comments. Sometimes they are just so stupid I can't stand them. I just want to tell her to shut up. I try to avoid her and will hopefully not ruin our friendship before the baby arrives.

pawcall · May 2010

YES! I feel this way too. Everyone and everything irritates me like you wouldn't believe. I am trying to avoid most of my friends for a while, because I'm not sure I can be trusted not to explode. Intellectually, I realize it's my issue, and that I'm just over-hormoned and crazy, but I can't help feeling that if everyone would just stop being so moronic and annoying, I wouldn't have to get so angry.

This passes, right? Hoping?

deenie816 · May 2010

I hope it doesn't pass. I'm real critical of myself at work and noticed lately I've been laughing things off at work. Don't get me wrong I take what I do seriously but if I make a mistake I am not so hard on myself.

dxiechicken41 · May 2010

I agree. People come to me with the stupidiest, most petty "issues" and expect me to a) take them seriously and b) dispense good advice. I guess I was better at pretending I cared before, but now, I have to restrain myself from literally saying, "Who cares? Do you really even care about this? It seems pretty trivial." I actually said that the other day to someone via text who was going on and on and then she stopped talking about it. Oh well, maybe that makes me a b**** -- so find someone else who'll indulge you! Hmmph!

PunkyBooster · May 2010

No but I don't surround myself with toxic people. Sounds like that a long time coming, anyway.

I do have much less tolerance for drunk people and the smell of alcohol.

Lovedan1 · May 2010

omg

You guys are going to be some lonely broads when your babies are born and your friends don't want to be around your moody asses anymore. lol

dxiechicken41 · May 2010

From the sounds of it, it was they who chose not to be around the friends, not the other way around.

Lovedan1 · May 2010

dxiechicken41:
From the sounds of it, it was they who chose not to be around the friends, not the other way around.

shunning your friends = lonely

you need your friends people! (ok, maybe not the drug addicts)

dxiechicken41 · May 2010

I'm sure no one's shunning all their friends, just the ones who are annoying. No harm in that. Quality, not quantity.

futuremrshackney · May 2010

Again, I don't believe its about chasing people away... its about recognizing toxic situations and standing up for yourself. I would LOVE to have my friend be a part of this happy time in my life, but the constant attention seeking and poor decision making are deal breakers now.

I think what it breaks down to is that I shouldn't have been around this even before I was pregnant, but my tolerance for it now doesn't exsist at all.

Also, I believe its harder to come to terms with relationships that become toxic when they were once good. Some people are always debbie downers, or drama queens... but when they evolve into it after years of being normal it can be harder to recognize. Its kind of like trying to figure out when to draw the line between someone going through a difficult time, and someone who is ALWAYS going through some sort of crisis. Its tough.

Want a personalized experience?

Zero Tolerance.

Re: Zero Tolerance.

Choose Another Board

Search Boards