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WWYD - Say something or keep my mouth shut?
One of our close friend's son is 2 1/2 and weighs 48lbs.
The reason why I am pondering talking to her about it is because it doesn't seem to be any concern to her. She just keeps saying how fast he's growing. He's average height for a two-year-old. She mentioned how much he weighed last week when she said she needed to go to the outlet mall to buy him more clothes.
They very frequently eat fast food, and chicken nuggets when they're at home. I know his weight is a product of the food choices his parents make. Last week when we were together with them she ordered him a whole burrito to himself (similar to Chipotle size) and he finished it.
I love my friend, dearly. I love her boys. I am totally okay with the fact that we parent differently and our families run differently. However, I want very much to talk with her about nutritinal needs for her kids. I've tried to mention things here or there, given her recipes that Lucy liked and were healthy and she thanks me for them, but I feel the need to really sit down and talk, you know? I love this boy and his family too much to sit back silently while he's possibly inching closer to Type 2 diabetes, but I have no idea what is appropriate to say/do about it.
Thoughts? Constructive advice?
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Re: WWYD - Say something or keep my mouth shut?
How close are you with her?
Could you casually slip in something like what did the pedi say about his weight gain? or something?
11 months
Ooh that is tough. I too would want to say something, but wouldn't be able to decide if it's appropriate. Maybe make a point of doing active things when you get together? Hope someone else here has some decent advice.
I know my DS is on the skinny side, but he weighs 28-29 lbs at 2 1/2.
Posts on cloth trainers/PLing
Has her pedi mentioned anything about his weight?
That's hard - in an ideal world, I would think it'd be in everyone's best interests to say something. How - lord if I know... I'd try to be incredibly sensitive about it, make sure you don't focus so much on what she's doing that is wrong, but perhaps focusing on how to eat right. I honestly don't know how I'd approach it, but I'd be prepared for her to be hurt and upset and for it to affect your friendship possibly.
Sorry I don't have better advice - it's hard to see friends doing something that may potentially hurt people they love without realizing it. That said, if I was doing something that was really hurting DS, I don't know that I'd want to be called on it, but at the same time, I certainly hope someone or something would wake me up and make me see what I was doing.
Pretty close. I should have added that part - we used to have the same pedi, but I switched a year ago when he told me to stop BF and that cow's milk is what a toddler really needs after the 1st year. My friend didn't see issue with that and I did (because I know research shows otherwise). She told me point blank that I was overreacting. So because of that I don't want to mention the pedi. I feel like she's expecting me to disagree with him.
Just to be clear, I'm not calling my close friend's kid fat. I'm expressing concern that the obvious signs that he is overweight for his age combined with what I know to be true of his diet makes me worried that over time, it will cause a major, irreversible health problem.
That's so hard.
For me, things like this come down to "what do I have to lose?" It seems like you're the only one who can really know and understand your relationship with her and the many things going into her kiddo's diet and lifestyle, and how those impact his health. If you're a visual person, listing the possible outcomes and what might fall from those, with different colored pens for "good" "bad" and "neutral" often helps me map my thoughts and make tough decisions like the one you're facing.
Mother's Day, 2011
I really like this idea, for more dilemmas than just this one. Thank you for this very useful advice!
No problem!
I MAY have bought myself a box of crayons that I don't share just so I can do this and have at least a little fun with it.
Mother's Day, 2011