PPA support - long (update at the end)

JennRN65 · May 2010

Hi guys,

I'm a semi-lurker/occasional poster. I'm posting today because I'm not in a very good place right now and I need to put this out there for support. No one seems to be over at the PPD board this am yet.

I finally got to the point last night where I realized that I needed to call my doc about my anxiety and OCD issues and I sat down with my husband and told him everything that I've been feeling and thinking for the last 7 months. It was so scary for me to do that but I just couldn't continue on how I was. Thank goodness my husband was extremely supportive, though a bit puzzled since apparantly I'm pretty darn good at covering up. He kept saying "you've seemed to be doing ok" but took me at my word when I told him exactly how it's been for me. "Normal" on the outside, screaming on the inside if things weren't "just right".

Anyway, I just called the doctor's office and left a message for him to call me. I'm relieved but terrified about what will come next. The thing is, as a nurse, I know that I need to get some help but also as a nurse I thought I could do this myself. I'm not a very good patient!

If you are still reading, thank you for letting me throw this out there and for sticking to it till the end of this. I'm sorry it's so long!

dette7820 · May 2010

I commend you for not only recognizing that things weren't right, but for doing something about it.So many women don't, and it's horrible for women to feel ashamed about it.

Keep your head up. I know many women who have gone through what you are, and are still doing great years later after seeking help.

Heffalump · May 2010

Good luck and hang in there. I'm sure things will get better soon. Both my mom and one of my cousins went through PPD. My mom struggled quite a bit because it wasn't as recognized as it is now, but things improved much faster for my cousin. From what she said, actually admitting that she needed help and then making herself reach out to her family and her doctor was the hardest part, and from there, things got much easier. So it sounds like you've already gotten through the toughest part, and now you can look forward to feeling better.

I've seen many, many references to PPD on here, so I'm sure there will be people who can provide better responses, too.

sam19 · May 2010

The first step is recognizing and seeking help. Good job mamma! This is best for you and your babe.

I'm so glad your husband was supportive. It makes a world of difference when you have a good support system around. Good luck with this!

Geek_Girl · May 2010

dette7820:
I commend you for not only recognizing that things weren't right, but for doing something about it.So many women don't, and it's horrible for women to feel ashamed about it.

Keep your head up. I know many women who have gone through what you are, and are still doing great years later after seeking help.

I couldn't have said it any better than this! You're doing the right thing, not only for yourself but also for your family!

JennRN65 · May 2010

Thank you all for your wonderful responses. I can't tell you how much they mean to me.

meryltheresa · May 2010

It really can only get better from here! You've recognized that you don't feel right and you're going to get help. I came to grips with everything about 4 months ago and after getting help I feel like a whole new person. Good for you and hang in there!

JennRN65 · May 2010

One of the things that made it so difficult was the fact that I waited so long. The longer I waited the harder it got! It really helped to see a bunch of posts on the PPD board that were from people who waited as long or longer than I did to get help.

I do wish I'd called sooner but I'm really glad I did finally call. I just wish they'd call back!

sgrl · May 2010

((hugs)) good luck moving forward

SDKelli · May 2010

Congrats to you for taking the first step in getting the help you need. I know it is hard to admit something like that first of all to yourself, but especially hard to admit it to others.

Can I ask what your symptoms are? I have always been an anxious person, but my anxiety level has increased tenfold since the LO was born.

mavilabride · May 2010

Big hugs. I had the same moment about 2 weeks ago and called my therapist and saw a psychiatrist. I also thought I could do it myself and also thought I would snap out of it since I have never experienced anxiety or OCD in my life pre-baby.

I'm glad I made the call and saw someone. I've been living in silent agony for the past 10 months and no one should live like that.

I hope you get a call back and get on the road to recovery. Hugs and GL!

JennRN65 · May 2010

SDKelli:

Congrats to you for taking the first step in getting the help you need. I know it is hard to admit something like that first of all to yourself, but especially hard to admit it to others.

Can I ask what your symptoms are? I have always been an anxious person, but my anxiety level has increased tenfold since the LO was born.

Sorry it took so long for me to answer, I left after my last post and just got back.

I, too, have always been a bit anxious and borderline OCD. I channelled it into my work and that always worked for me since attention to detail is pretty important in nursing!

After DD was born my anxiety intensified. I worried constantly that something would happen to her, DH, or me. At first, I could justify the feelings because I have lost children (1 stillborn,3 m/c's, and one son at 21 months). I figured my anxiety was understandable. The problem was that it kept getting worse. I started having trouble making decisions like what she should wear or what solid I should feed her. Everything had to be perfect all.the.time. I was exhausted.

I'm feeling like a weight has been lifted since I've talked to DH and the doctor. He started me on zoloft so we'll see how it goes.

Thank you, ladies, for your support. It helped me so much today!

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PPA support - long (update at the end)

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