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D.C. Area Babies
Just need some positive words
Everything is fine, but I'm just finding myself a little at ends. I hit 13 weeks yesterday, which means we only have 6 mos to get ready. DH freaked out a bit, adn I tried to calm him but it still got to me. There's finding daycare, and figuring out which items to register for that won't maim my child, maternity leave issues (DH and I apparently were not understanding eachother and now we still need to figure out if I can take 12 weeks since at least 2 will be w/o pay). Then once the baby comes dealing with work and schedules etc.
I know people do it all the time. This is my first time to the rodeo though, so I guess I just need someone to smack me and tell me it'll be fine.
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Re: Just need some positive words
You will be fine!! It's like planning a wedding, only ten times more overwhelming - if you let it become so. If there is anything you can assign to your DH, do it. I took on everything (including growing the baby, of course) and I should have made DH do more. Take care of the maternity leave discussion as well as the daycare situation first and put off registering for a while. Throw registry checklists out the window - they are created to force you to think you need stuff. Blankets, diapers, wipes, carseat, place to sleep and onesies are really all you need for a while! No joke!
My DH had the same reaction to the maternity leave thing - he thought I would go right back to work after 6 weeks, and I told him I was taking the full 12 regardless. I had to take a month unpaid, but it was worth the sacrifice. And after going through it, DH had to agree that it was much better for us to have me at home for an extra month. I bet yours will come around!
The thing to remember is that regardless of your plans and assumptions, what will be will be. You have plenty of time - relax and enjoy all of the moments. This board is great for venting concerns and asking questions!! Good luck!
It really is more time than you think, especially if you start getting things in place now.
I think the crucial decision with daycare is choosing which route you want to go, center or in home. I went to a variety of local center and a few in home places to get a sense of what I liked, and what I could afford. If you are looking at centers, go sooner since they tend to have longer wait lists. If you are looking at in home, you probably won't even start interviewing potential folks until you are on maternity leave. Most know about openings only about 2 months in advance.
For registering, keep in mind the necessities for baby are short (place to sleep, clean clothes, some diapering system and if you are not nursing, formula), the nice to haves are longer and the thousands of other products out there, well there are lots of them. Do you have Baby Bargains yet. That book was somewhat helpful to me in getting a sense of what I needed and it provided some helpful reviews.
The finances take some working and learning about your HRs policies are really important. I was shocked when I thought that my whole leave would be covered (I had 6 weeks STD and almost 6 weeks vacation sick time saved up) but learned that our STD policy only kicked in when I exhausted all other leave so it paid for appx 2 days of my maternity leave. Grr. Learning now what is covered will really help you prepare. 6 months is also plenty of time to save some additional money to cover your two weeks unpaid.
The thing is, everything does work out. I know it seems overwhelming but I am amazed at how much just comes into place.
Best of luck.
Welcome to the club! It is overwhelming and scary and takes a lot of adjustment, but I promise you it will all work itself out.
1. Finding daycare is tough, but aside from getting on center waitlists now if that is something you want to do, in-home and nanny options will be something you look into closer to the time, at which point you'll have a lot of the other things managed so it won't seem as intimidating.
2. For registering, the best thing you can do is get a friend to go with you who has somewhat recently had a baby. This saves a lot of stress. Also, so much can be done online that once you get a bulk of it done in the store, you can "tweak" when you have a few minutes here and there. I ended up having fun with that once I felt like I had a reasonable list.
3. Ah, maternity leave. This is a good conversation to have, but try not to stress each other out too much. See if you can cut back in other areas to make sure you can handle those two weeks without pay.
4. Babies mess with work schedules, but again, people work it out.
I think the hardest thing you are dealing with now may be feeling like you have to figure out all of these things right now. One thing at a time - I promise you'll get there and a lot of the women on this board have great advice on all of these fronts. Hang in there!
Everything will be fine and work itself out!!
would it help if you made a list? kind of like those wedding lists (that I loathed btw) that say - 6 mos prior to the event, you should have this done, 3 mos - this, etc etc
daycare is #1, start looking now
we did not register until after the big U/S - read Baby Bargains and then have a friend who has a baby go with you to register for the small items (bottles, nursing supplies, etc); then go back w/ your DH for the big ones - car seat, stroller, bedding etc.
Then you want to order nursery furniture
Be prepared for the 1st 6mo of baby's life to be chaotic, the 1st 3 of those will be the worst in terms of sleep deprivation, stress, exhaustion. But like everyone else you will get thru it!
Once you are on ML, a lot of your work expenses (gas, lunches) will dwindle, so while it won't make up for 2 weeks w/out pay, 2 weeks is not that much. You have plenty of time to accrue PTO/vacation.
First of all, congratulations! You're right, it is over-whelming, but it does get easier - sometimes making lists can help calm your nerves, too (it helps me). Per what to register for, I was in the same boat. My husband and I went to Target one night and decided to browse the baby section. My pregnancy horomones must have gotten to me, because when I saw that they had an entire aisle dedicated just to bottles, I lost it. I said to my husband, "How are you suppose to pick one?" An entire aisle, is that really necessary? A friend recommended that I read the book "Baby Bargains, 8th Edition" and it made me feel so much better about what to register for/buy. It's a long read, so maybe visit your library or buy a copy soon. If you end up having to buy it, I think it was worth every penny (about $10). When I sat down to read it, I kept a sheet of paper and pen handy and took notes ... when it was time to register, it wasn't over-whelming at all.
I think my husband and I took the longest time trying to pick out a crib. We went to BuyBuyBaby 3x before we finally decided on one. I don't know if you plan to learn your baby's gender - but we have decided to wait until the birth, so selecting gender-neutral things is challenging but waiting until the birth is worth it for us.
Per taking time off work, talk with your HR dept... they may have some recommendations (i.e. short-term disability) to cushion the blow of going without a couple paychecks while you stay home.
Just some ideas... good luck to you and once again, CONGRATS!!
)
First of all congratulations. Second of all, I think this is totally normal. Sometime in the second trimester, my co-worker took me to a consignment shop because she said I should get some clothes for DD since it was an 80% off sale. I almost had a meltdown in the store because suddenly I realized that I'm really having a baby, and that me and DH are going to be solely responsible for making decisions on everything including clothes, food, care, etc. I felt completely overwhelmed.
But then you take a deep breath and figure out things step-by-step. This board was an incredible resource for me for decision making because the women here are so helpful and non-judgemental. I think I ended up doing about 3 posts related to bottles and nipples before I finally settled on a final choice. Also, definitely get the book Baby Bargains. It's a great resource.
So, take a deep breath, write a list and take things one step at a time. You'll figure it all out. And don't be afraid to post whenever you have questions or need advice.
we got all gender-neutral items as well and we knew the gender. I never understand the people who get pink stroller, pink carseat, pink everything for the 1st baby when they plan to have more! If you plan to have more than 1 baby, go the gender-neutral way, is my advice. (I mean big items like bedding, car seat, high chair, etc.) You can find plenty of clothes/outfits that are gender neutral but they get really scarce after about the 3-6mo size.
Thank you ladies. I certainly have my lists (I'm a meeting and event planner by trade) and I think I'm just trying to keep control. And let's face it, that'll last for oh about another few months-HA! My husband needs lists etc to feel calm, so I've been trying to help him with that but I don't think I realized how it was stressing me out. ::Deep Breath::
One way or another we'll figure it out. as for tonight, I'm going to get that Baby Bargains book!
Thanks!
Same here. All of the "big" items are gender neutral. Gray carseat. Navy joggery stroller. Gray umbrella stroller. White bedding (well all we really have in the bed is a fitted sheet). Baby room is painted yellow with multi-colored accents that will work for a boy or a girl.
As for clothes, it's a whole different story - pink pink and more pink.
Ditto this! I also am not a big fan of pink so I guess that helps in our case.
Augh, no kidding! I got everything gender neutral too even though I've made my peace with pink some years ago but girls' clothes always comes in pink these days. Drives me nuts!