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Parenting after a Loss
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to visit or not to visit

burghbabyburghbaby
in Parenting after a Loss

friends of ours had twin baby boys this past weekend.  The hubby is one of DH's best friends (was one of 2 best men in our wedding) and I have become very close to his wife.  She actually worked as a PA in my OB office and was the one who helped me the most through my MC and pregnancy.  They got preg through IVF after trying for years to get preg.  I have been SO SUPER excited for them and want to go visit them and the babies. 

However... the babies seem to be having some minor issues.  We don't have a whole lot of info about what is going on other than they are in NICU.  The hubby has sent a couple of texts giving very minimal info.  Through a mutal friend I found out she was released yesterday and the boys will probably be released tomorrow.  I want to see if they are up for visitors if they are still hanging at the hospital but my DH says I need to leave them alone.  He thinks we should take the hint from the lack of communication that they are overwhelmed.

I know I would have loved visitors at the hospital but no one asked if they could come besides family.  Should I text and see if they are up for it?  Or should I just let it be and be patient to meet the litle boys?

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Re: to visit or not to visit

  • knortonknorton
    I have never had a baby in the nicu, so I don't know how they are feeling. But, I don't see the harm in texting. I think some times when things aren't perfect people shy away from visiting and then the couple can feel isolated.
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  • mh2tmh2t
    I think you should definitely reach out - honestly, I might just call if there is a phone number you can use.  Leave them an out by saying you know they're really busy, but you'd love to come visit (and maybe drop off a freezer meal or something at their house to help out?)  I personally tend to be really bad at accepting offers of support or help even when I would love to accept, because I don't want to put anyone out - and a text is too easy to ignore.
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  • veryargylegirlveryargylegirl

    I am sure they are overwhelmed. I would drop off a ready-made meal or something when you know they are home and wait a few days for a visit. Just remember how overwhelming it was to have 1 baby, much less 2!

    I think swinging by the hospital while the boys are still there to just say hello and offer support is a wonderful idea. I think a lot of people think when people are going through tough times to "stay away" when really, they just don't know how to reach out to people and ask for support. If you do visit, make it quick and maybe bring them some snacks or magazines. If they are hanging out at the hospital, they would probably appreciate the visit if it is short.

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  • burghbabyburghbaby
    Thanks ladies.  I sent him a text and he said to come anytime.  They are just hanging at the hospital so I told him I was heading down that way anyway and would just stop in to say hi.  I have DD with me so I can't really go into the NICU unless she lets one of them hold her while I pop in to see the boys.  But I still want to go even if I dont get to see the boys.  I want to viist my friends... because I am so happy for them :)  They wanted this for so long and it's finally here!
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