closing the nursery door, doesn't help

tlcW0714 · May 2010

I was just wondering what some of you did with the nursery after your late losses? As I was 40 weeks with Keely, her nursery was completely finished. We've had the door shut for six weeks now, but it doesn't help as much as I would like. I have been trying to decide what to do with eveything. I don't want to put it all away, but I don't want it out either. I guess thats why my door is shut. So, any advice on what some you did and what seemed to help would be appreciative! Thanks!!

KMLP · May 2010

I don't have any advice, but just want to offer many, many hugs to you.

Also, your daughter's name is just darling!

tiffanysbride · May 2010

I don't have any advice and am so sorry for your loss.

A good friend had a loss around 38 weeks, if I remember correctly she left the nursery in tact and when her DD was born she changed things around for her. Her first child was a boy. She recently told me that it helped her remember him in a good way eventually so it was a healing process like everything else.

Fryday37 · May 2010

im sorry that i dont have any advice. i cant imagine what that would be like. sending lots of HUGS your way!

greenclown · May 2010

I'm so sorry. We didn't have Jillian's room set up because I was only 24 weeks, but we had a lot of stuff. I returned her bedding and stuff very quickly, and we were able to cancel our furniture order, but most of the stuff sat where it was for quite a while. Eventually, I was able to put things away, but I don't remember how long it took for me to get to that point.

I didn't want anyone else to touch her stuff, but how would you feel about having someone help you put stuff away if that's what you to do?

I'm so sorry for your loss. {hugs}

betizzle73 · May 2010

I am so sorry. I just sucks. I lost Olivia at 34 weeks, and her nursery wasn't all the way finished yet. I had been working on some paintings for her room that I had just finished days before she was born. I worked so hard on them that when we got home from the hospital I hung them up anyway, which was pretty much the last thing we needed to do (aside from setting up the changing table, we didn't do that part). For a wihle, we thought that we wanted to leave it put together as a place where we could go to sit and feel close to her. However, it didn't end up working like that. I liked to go in there sometimes, but most of the time it just made me cry. Kurt wanted the door shut when he was home because every time he walked past it he said that he went through all of the emotions of losing her all over again, because it was just a huge reminder that she was gone. In the end, we ended up moving out of our apartment and packing it all up anyway, about 3.5 months after we lost her. By the time we moved out, neither one of us had really been going into the nursery all that much anymore.

Are you planning on trying again soon? Will you be using the same room for future babies? If there are any special things that were just for Keely, like things that you don't want to reuse for the next child, I would put those in a special place and pack the rest of the stuff up... if you're not going to be using the same room for future babies anytime soon. I don't think there's any right or wrong way to go about it, just do whatever makes you feel better.

I'm sorry if this didn't really help! Reading over it, I feel like I was just rambling! I'm sorry!

jerriesgirl · May 2010

I don't have any advice, but I have (((hugs)))).

magdalina.h · May 2010

We only had a crib and some clothes in Aidan's room, but I keep the door open. I go in and touch the crib while I talk to him. I let my dog sniff the clothes that were supposed to be his. I often find my dog sleeping next to the crib.

I would have to say that if I had the nursery completed it would be harder for me. Part of me would say that I'd leave it alone and the other says that I would take back the smaller items. Well I don't even know about that because I have everything that was bought for Aidan and plan on using it for our next child, God willing.

bgarson · May 2010

I am so sorry you even have to think of this. Victoria's nursery wasn't completed, but there are still some things in there, in the closet. I sometimes go in there and cry, depressing, I know, but it helps a little.

Lorange-8 · May 2010

Our's wasn't really set up, we had the crib in our room with all her stuff in in. The crib was removed and her stuff is being stored in a pink storage bin in our room. She really didn't have much yet. Some of the stuff will be used for the next baby and her stuff will be put away until I can handle it being out.

I'm sorry you have to go thru this.

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