Numb

Hey Ladies,

Im not sure if this is PPD or not...

I do have a history of anxiety (bad, but have worked past it and have been good for the past 3 or 4 years) and depression (mild and has been much better since having the anxiety under control).

There has been alot of stress surrounding this pregnancy (bad roommates, BF being away) and labour (2 weeks early, MIL did the whole nursery while I was in L&D) My BF deployed overseas 10 days after DS was born. We had to kick his parents out (they were going to stay at our house until he left but I was stressing out and wanted some alone time with BF before he left as we had not had our house to ourselves since August (roommates and BF being away) anyways Im getting off point.

I had an idea in my mind this whole pregnancy what it would feel like to be a mom, and this is not at all what I had in mind. I don't feel like I think  I should. I of course love him but I don't feel this immense joy or even a bond, I don't feel the need to jump up when he cries (I of course still do but it makes it that much harder) and I don't feel like I know how to comfort him or read his signals. 

I don't feel extra anxious or sad, I just feel kind of numb. My mom has been staying with me to "help" but if anything I find that she stresses me out more than anything, but I don't know if I can do it without her...

Ok sorry for making this so long, but does this sound like it could be PPD? and how should I bring this up with my OB?

I haven't told BF about this because on the occasions that we do get to talk, I don't want to worry him.

Thanks