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2nd Trimester
SnowflakeBride06
member
Feeling insecure after a 'fat' comment (vent-ish)
SnowflakeBride06
member
I know we talk about weight alot on this board (to the point where its annoying maybe) but this is kind of along those lines..
I mentioned to a co-worker something about being pregnant and having snotty students come to class sick and me sending them home and her response kind of got me.
She said: "Really? Wow! I noticed you had put on some weight and I didn't want to say anything or ask if you were pregnant"
Yea the rational side of says shake it off, some people want to air on the side of caution, but the sensitive side of me says WTH would you say something like you noticed I gained weight?
*gulp* I felt like an enormous whale when she said that, obviously I have said before I wasn't small when I got pg but did not look pregnant thats for sure!! Proportional I'd say.
So of course I went home yesterday and scrutinized myself and tried to figure out if I look pregnant or just chubby. I am voting pregnant and yet today I changed like 80xs b/c I felt so awkard!
Yes, I should let this go but I am struggling to put it out of my mind today. And of course everyone says I look great... trying to beleive that!
6/09 right tube loss (fallopian torsion) 12/09 BFP #1 (DD born 9/10)
8/12 dx Lupus (ANA+/APA-), 12/12 BFP #2 natural m/c 6w 2d
TTC#2 since 9/12 50mg Clomid/Ovidrel IUI #1 Beta 10/4=BFN
50mg Clomid/Ovidrel IUI #2 Beta 11/1= BFN
100 mg Clomid/Ovidrel IUI #3 Beta 12/26=BFFN
100 mg Clomid/Ovidrel IUI #4 Beta 2/14= BFFN
Took a LONG Break
Lots of Luck and Love BFPB for life KOFMKG
<a href="http://www.thebump.com/?utm_source=ticker&utm_medium=HTML&utm_campaign=tickers" title="Baby Names"><img
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Re: Feeling insecure after a 'fat' comment (vent-ish)
Aw, I am sorry you had to deal with that. I, for one, find her comment rude. She didn't have to be that way about it - she could have said something along the lines of "congratulations" and not mention your weight at all, but some people just don't have tact or social graces. Does she have children/has she ever been pregnant? Sometimes people just do not understand what an emotional rollercoaster pregnancy can be with the way your hormones are. You look beautiful!
I'm pretty sure every pregnant lady goes through a phase where they just look like the are packing on the pounds and don't look pregnant.
I honestly don't see why you are so upset by this comment.
Thank you. The world is not out to offend pregnant people.
My DH, for about three months, would come home and say, "I think the receptionist is pregnant, she looks like she put on weight." It is kind of one of the first signs.
The world is filled with morons that let their tongue loose before computing in their brain what they are about to say.
Shake it off and be who you are. If someone thinks your fat, let them think so. If your weight is something that you have struggled with in the past, deal with it after the baby is born, but dont get on a strict diet now because your baby needs a well balance diet to grow strong and healthy. GL with it all!!!
BTW, You look great in your pics.
I think for me as a person that has struggled with weight being told to my face its noticeable I have gained weight is embarassing.
I have gained 8lbs.
Currently going through our second deployment. Can't wait for Zoe to meet her daddy!
I definitely can relate... I was overweight to begin with, and slightly insecure about it. When I was only 6 weeks (I had just announced I was pregnant) one of my co-workers said "oh, you are already showing!" No, I wasn't because I was still in pre-preggar clothes and I stayed there until 20 weeks, but thanks!! I said "nope, just fat." I have scrutinized my weight gain for the last three months because of it, even though I am pregnant and supposed to be gaining weight.
I guess I am just going to have to accept the fact that I got curves and having a baby will only make me hotter
Thank you, nope she doesn't have kids so she probably didn't think that comment was hurtful
You are pregnant. You are going to gain weight. People are going to notice you are gaining weight. That is something you need to come to terms with very quickly.
You act like the woman randomly walked up to you and said "Man, you have put on a ton of weight". That is not what happened - you talked about being pregnant and she said she was kind of noticing due to weight gain but didn't want to say anything - there is nothing wrong with what she said.
Love this! I will have to work on that
Yeh, that sucks. I'm sorry...some people don't think before they speak. Annoying!! I think you look great! : )
Well I work with her and I thought she knew I was pregnant so it took me by surprise when she didn't know.
I guess I feel like telling someone to their face you noticed their weight gain is rude pregnant or not. But we can respectfully disagree.
But at least you have a reason. It's not like you weren't even pregnant and she said "Ohhhhh! When are you due?!" while patting your tummy.
Trust me. As someone who has also struggled with their weight, being asked if you're pregnant and you aren't is much much worse than what she said.
I agree with the others, though. You will gain weight with this pregnancy. People will notice. If you overanalyze everything everyone says to you about how you look, you will go BSC.
Unable to even.
********************
You don't understand the appeal of Benedict Cumberbatch / think he's fug / don't know who he is? WATCH SHERLOCK. Until you do, your negative opinion of him will not be taken seriously.
Thank you. I actually thought this was the crazy part.
Exactly. This is the time when the scale going UP is a good thing. You are growing a person in there. You are beautiful, be confident in knowing that! Try and let the bothersome comments roll off your back.
Sorry your feelings got hurt!
Last night I plopped down on DHs lap like I usually do, and he kinda grunted and said "Wow, you have gotten heavier!" He quickly said "That's good though! you're so beautiful" We both kind of laughed about it haha. It's funny how we forget sometimes that we are getting bigger and heavier and other people will notice. That's ok!
No I teach at a University and we now send students home from class if they are sick due to the H1N1 scare (not my policy) but they come anyway and so its a struggle while pregnant because I got sick with bronchitis and a sinus infection just this semester (which could be coincidental of course but no teacher pregnant or not wants tons of sick students in class)
You are gaining weight, so she's not wrong. You just need to convince yourself that the reason WHY you are gaining that weight is a wonderful reason!
I had a lady at the gym the other day say to me "everytime I see you now, you look more pregnant. I had been thinking that you had been putting on a few pounds..." kind of along the same lines. I don't think she meant anything mean by it; she was just stating an observation. I"m sure your co-worker didnt' mean anything cruel by it either.
Embrace the weight; you're growing a baby!!
Is it wrong of me that I don't really see what is so wrong with her comment? I mean it was a bit foot-in-mouth but not that bad. You are 5 months pregnant. I'd be worried if you weren't putting on weight!
Hopefully I'm not the first person to tell you this, but you are going to gain weight from pregnancy. The sooner you accept that fact, the happier you are going to be through your entire pregnancy!
See that way i look at it is they look like the a$$ for thinking you were fat...you get the upper hand...if they are having a few pudgy months....whats their excuse...
Point is wear your pregnacy with pride. Its not a time to be a ashamed of your belly....its the one time we get to embrace it
it's not the rudest way she COULD have put it, but still, it wasn't terribly polite. And since you've struggled with your weight, she probably had no idea it would make you feel even more self-concious.
Assuming your pictures are of you, you do look great!
If she suspected you were pregnant, couldn't she have just said, "I suspected as much, you are glowing and beautiful!" Couldn't go wrong there!
I am sorry that you are upset but you need to get some thicker skin. You are very thin skinned when it comes to your co-workers. Today's comment from a co-worker as well as yesterday's were not mean at all and you can't get upset over them. The only person you are hurting is yourself.
As someone who is very sensitive I understand that you take things to heart but really they are not out to get you.
Aw, this really upsets me. I had my MIL say something similar to me ("At least you're starting to look pregnant and not just fat like you did last week" HER EXACT WORDS
) I cried for 2 days after that. I really don't understand why people have to say crap like this, it's really unfair.
For the record, I think you look absolutely adorable.
? Probably because it is incredibly rude and tacky to make unsolicited, negative comments about someones appearance?
First of all, you look great. But I understand where you're coming from. I was overweight before I got pregnant and have struggled with it all my life. I thought I was totally fine with the idea of gaining some weight and my belly getting bigger with pregnancy but I found it surprisingly stressful when my clothes were starting not to fit. And every time I see a friend or relative the first thing they do is look at my belly. After years of trying to camouflage it, it's the first thing people look at! It can be hard to get past these insecurities.
Secondly, I totally put my foot in my mouth all the time. Ridiculously. I'm pretty sensitive myself so knowing I've said something insensitive to someone makes me feel just terrible. What your co-worker said sounds like something I would say, meaning well but just screwing it up. I'd try to let it go and assume she meant well. Those of us handicapped with foot in mouth disease ask for your understanding.
i wouldn't take this personally. lots of my co-workers on other floors, who haven't been informed, are really looking at my belly because i have put on weight. it's like they want to say something but are scared i'm gonna take it the wrong way. they're in an awkward situation so i usually put them out of their misery and say "yes, i'm expecting!" and we both laugh about it.
First off, you look great!
You are pregnant and therefore will gain weight. That's how it works. Technically you've only gained 8lbs. That's awesome for being like 5 months. At 5 months I was up 15 lbs. Someone commented that I looked "huge". Sure it hurt, but I ended up only gained 18lbs (thanks to GD and super controlled diet) the day I delivered at 38 weeks.
I know as someone who's had a love hate relationship my whole life with the scale any weight comment - intentional or not - hurts. But seriously you cannot dwell on this.
I am not going to tell you like the others how rude hurtful or whatever it was because frankly you need a thicker skin than that. You need to blow these dumb a*s comments off because you will never be able to control what comes out of people's mouths. And at the end of this pregnancy you'll be looking at lot more weight than just 8lbs and you need to feel and be OK with that. That's how it works.
And whatever the number is, I am sure everyone will tell you it is comepletely worth it and then some for the miracle of a child. :-)