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Babies: 0 - 3 Months
coey03
member
I still don't feel like I know what I"m doing
coey03
member
and it makes me feel soo bad about myself :-(
I don't usually know what he wants when he cries. I always assume he is hungry first and automatically feed him. He had a tongue tie. It was clipped but he still does not have full mobility of his tongue, so he is not able to feed efficiently, making for more and longer feedings. He is Always on the boob (and I am working very closely with an LC) I have no time to do anything else. (yes, my 1minute of me time has gone to crying and venting on the bump)
I fed him 5x between 7am and 1p. He was acting hungry with the head bobbing and then crying. Eventually I tried a bottle and he didn't want it. apparently he wasn't really hungry. I swaddled him and he fell right to sleep.
I just feel like I have no maternal instincts and I suck at this.
I read about other babies his age having a semblance of a routine and others being able to get things done, etc. I feel like such a loser.
Oh and the little guy already caught his first cold, so we were in the ER Sunday night (happy 1st mothers day) due to a cough.
Thanks for letting me vent...
This discussion has been closed.
Re: I still don't feel like I know what I"m doing
Don't be so hard on yourself, Mommy! You are doing fine. It's definitely a learning process, and no one -- not even the most maternally instincted woman on the planet -- gets it right every time. You will get better at reading your LO, and he will get better at communicating his needs to you. That part only comes with time and trial & error.
Focus on the little victories -- you figured out he wasn't hungry, he was tired and you put him right to sleep. That's awesome!
The feeding will get better. Hang in there. It sounds like you're really working hard at making it work for LO. That's awesome. Keep it up!
Again, don't be so hard on yourself... Do your best. Get some support/help when you need it. And take care of yourself. You can do this!
I have 2 kids and still wonder what the heck I am doing.
The first few months are survival. I can guarantee that even those that have routines now will have things come out of left field and EVERYONE has moments where they are thinking what the heck have I done.
It takes trial and error to get to know your baby. You are getting to know a new person with their own wishes, desires, and needs. You are not psychic, so you will learn together.
In no way shape or form should you feel bad about yourself!!!! This is HARD, I am not always able to read baby's cues either and for a long time I always thought he was hungry. It hasn't been until the last week or two that I have been able to hear the hungry cry, so at least I know if it's not that cry I have to try everything else and right now it's trial and error! I do notice if he is tired or overtired he gets red around the eyes and will get watery eyes so maybe your LO has his own tired cues? I was having a VERY hard time in the beginning and feeling exactly like you, like maybe I just was not cut out for this, but LO can definitely sense when you are frustrated/upset and it just exacerbates whatever is going on so if you are able to just try and go with the flow more and cut yourself some slack that will help things too.
You will get the hang of it, just give yourself some time : ) Good luck : )
For every baby you read about that is doing great and never fusses. There is equally someone out there (or on the Bump) that is struggling too. Celebrate your victories and try to let the bad times roll off your back.
Make a pregnancy ticker
Oh my dear, I feel the same way. I feel like there are times when I know what my LO wants and there are times when I can't figure it out. And my LO is almost 3 months old. But it does get better. I'm slowly starting to distinguish between her "I'm hungry," "I'm tired," and "I'm bored, play with me" cries. I know the hungry and tired ones better.
I totally understand those feedings, he may be hungry cause he isn't getting enough (cause of the tounge thing). But he also may be going through a growth spurt. I also do know, that when I was stressed (like when my mom came down or just plain stressed about life and being a mother) my milk wasn't as fulfilling as it should have been. So that is when I started supplementing...and she did a little better. As soon as I stopped being stressed out, she got what she needed. So her feeding times (mins and how often) were less. About 3-4 hrs between each for 30 mins each time, which her doc said was norm.
Just be patient and it will get better. He'll eat better and sleep better. Patience, and have faith in yourself. I know I don't know you, but if you weren't a good mother...you wouldn't have been given your precious LO. (not trying to get all religious, just stating my opinion).
Staci4477 - don't feel like a failure. You are not a failure. If you feel like your BM is being effected, then you are doing the right thing. You want to make sure that your baby is not getting the effected milk. That is awesome...so don't feel like a failure.
No mother is a failure. We all have our hardships, our stresses, our worries, our doubts. But there is one thing that we have that gets us through it, it's the love for our LO. That and our family, if we get overwhelmed...they are there to back us up.
I'm so sorry to hear about your need for medication. I can't imagine having to go through the efforts of pumping and then needing to dump it. I hope that you don't need to go through that for long.
What are you doing to retrain him to breast feed? No one has mentioned this to me.