donate eggs?

Nicavesani · May 2010

DH saw a news story where a woman sold her eggs for near $100,000. I could seriously see dollar signs in his eyes when he told me. He said, "we should look into it... we already have our 2, why not". Ummm, apparently he doesn't know what it entails, and for me, I don't feel ethically right about it.

IMO, I wouldn't want my babies to be with strangers... what if they weren't good parents, or abused them? I couldn't live knowing there was a possibility of my babies being out there without me.

I know we're super tight for money, but I kinda feel like it's selling my children... even if they're only 1/2 a baby.

WDYT about it?

Nicavesani · May 2010

oops, my post subject should have been Selling, not Donating.

emmared1986 · May 2010

I dont really think of an egg as a baby. It isnt a baby until it is fertilized in my opinion. I think I would donate to a family member, but selling is weird.

zoieglow · May 2010

I know 2 people with experience with this. One of them was denied and one did it. She got nowhere near that much money and was a mess throughout the entire process. She was injecting herself with hormones every day and never felt "good". She said her body just felt gross and she didn't feel right. She did it the whole way through and knew the family she was donating to but said it was too much, she'd never do it again. Apparently it's very hard to get approved too.

MrsBeckO · May 2010

I have a friend that sold eggs a few years ago, and the process was so hard on her. Not the "my baby" emotions you're talking about, just physically what it takes.

Just the fact that you can't (and I can't either) get past feeling they are "your babies" means its not right for you. You kind of have to of the mindset that while, yes they are technically genetically half-yours, you are not selling your child. You are giving the opportunity to have children to another couple. If you would always think "your child" is out there, you shouldn't even consider selling your eggs. KWIM? But I'm right there with you. I wouldn't be able to do that.

And FYI, being paid $100K is certainly not typical!!

twoasone1 · May 2010

I did it a few times a few years back and I definitely did not get that much money for them lol. The couples who I donated to went through a lot of screening as well so I felt confident that that the resulting children would be well cared for. I also never thought of them as mine though and that made it easier.

SusieQ1982 · May 2010

I don't think of them as babies and it really is difficult to do.

For 100K, yeah, I'd do it. For a couple thousand bucks, probably not.

emiliemadison · May 2010

I'm an egg donor and 1) anyone who says you can "sell" your eggs for $100K is on crack and 2)I'm actually quite offended that you consider egg donation to be "selling your baby"- both for me as a donor and for the recipients of donor eggs.

I donate my eggs, but I do get compensated for my time and the physical risk and involvement. It's nowhere near that much (it's $4K per cycle with a 5 cycle lifetime limit) and the process is very intensive. I certainly didnt donate for the money and not many donors do. But the few thousand I got was nice.

I think there are a lot of misconceptions out there about egg donation and what it means. Donating an egg, while having very different emotional aspects, is no different than donating bone marrow or blood etc. It's genetic material that can help someone else. An egg in my ovary is not a baby, it is just the genetic material that can CREATE a baby. Once an embryo is implanted into the mother's uterus, it won't have her genetic makeup, but it will be nourished by her body. She will give birth to her own child, not my child. I'm not giving someone my baby. My children will not have half siblings. Gentically, there will be a child out there who shares some of their DNA, but to me, a sibling to my children would mean I had another child. I simply do not see it that way.

jonsdeedee · May 2010

Having gone through IVF which is basically what you would do minus the last transfer, it is not an easy thing. The hormones you have to inject will make you a little nuts, you will feel crappy and will get no where near 100k. I think my fertility clinic was paying a few thousand. Also it is very very very hard to get approved. They want people at the peak of fertility, usually early 20s, with few if any health problems (them or in the family) and you will have to undergo a battery of tests before you are accepted.

smilelari · May 2010

This is something that I really, really want to do. Having done IVF I am very familiar with the process and know that it isn't easy, but I also know that there is a definite need and that it can make a couple's dreams come true. I don't know if I'll ever get to though, as the upper limit for age is usually 32. My window of opportunity will be small as I am 30 and still breastfeeding (you can't donate while breastfeeding) and you have to be matched and lined up in a cycle with a recipient.

CalinsBride · May 2010

I think its fine, ethically. I wouldn't consider them the donor's children, in the same way that I wouldn't consider adopted children to be the birth mom's children.

Personally, I don't think its something I could do (either donating or selling) because of how physically gruelling it is. Its very involved.

ryry1977 · May 2010

I did this in 2000, not for near that money though. Pretty much covered the cost of driving to the hospital all the time and a little more. I did have to inject myself everyday with hormones, but I felt fine. I feel wonderful about doing this and am very glad that I was able to help some couple. They picked me, but I don't know anything about them. They went through a very tough screening process to be able to qualify, so I have no trouble seeing my 'egg' out there with this other couple. I do know that it was successful and I also gave them the go ahead to try again with the frozen eggs to have another child/children. This way at least they would be full brother and sisters if they had more. It was a wonderful experience. Just wish I had gotten that much money! LOL.

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