Stay at home moms questions :-)

NorcalLinds · May 2010

I'm sure this is one of many lame questions I will have in the weeks to come! My new job as a stay at home mom beings next Tuesday. Yikes!

I broke the news to DH that I won't be making his lunch everyday. He seemed shocked! LOL His dang coworkers wife does it.

So what are your duties around the house include, with the kids etc?

Any helpful tips for me?

EmmieB · May 2010

I'm confused as to why he would expect lunch? does he eat at home or would he be taking it in?

my husband eats at the office so this isn't an issue for us.

I do all of the laundry (i fold his but he has a system and I'm not allowed to put it away.) I cook, clean the dishes, do most of the chores (husband does the bathrooms) and take care of bunny. I also do *all* of the shopping during the week.

I also have lunch with other awesome mommies sometimes :-)

Ang&Garrett · May 2010

I pretty much am the CEO of our house. I do all of the house work. From time to time DH helps but he works 60 hours a week so I'd rather his time home be spent with us. For me the best things I have learned is to make a schedule for yourself. Have activities, get out of the house everyday. It just helps. Find other SAHM who will understand you and support you it can be isolating.

oceanangelbeauty · May 2010

I think I can sort of count although my baby is still in my belly and I have a disabled mil.

I mostly see my job is supporting my family. Family defined as MIL, DH and Genevieve.

I make dinner, do all the shopping, laundry, walk the dogs, get things mil can not reach, all the heavy cleaning chores, laundry, etc. restart mil's internet and or computer.

When genevieve gets here I will take care of her. I will also share her with MIL.

I do a lot of organizing as support for my family. Shopping lists, shopping, making sure mil and DH have what they need. Pharmphy pill refill orders and pick up for mil. That kind of stuff. basically any errand is easier for me to do durring the day so DH does not have to deal with it. I also pay bills.

I have a garden but that is fun for me.

I do not make DH his lunch but I make sure he has his favorite stuff so he can do it.

kittylove · May 2010

We have a "chore chart" it has dishes, vacume, litter, and general household stuff on there. I have to do 15 through the week and he does 8. I also do all the bills, shoping, and cooking. That is all in addition to taking care of Riley.

DH had wanted me to do more and then I left him alone one day with Riley (all day). Took the car and told him have a great day at home with Riley. I got home at 4pm and he nearly threw Riley into my arms as I walked in. Now he seems to get it that I don't just sit on my a$$ and eat bon bons all day while watching TV. Riley is high needs so maybe that wouldn't work for everyone but it sure shut him up about what I was and wasn't getting done durring the day.

SweetieP · May 2010

I wouldn't say that I have any assigned duties but here are the things that I take care of on a regular basis:

Ryan's laundry

my laundry (including family sheets and towels)

all household errands

grocery shopping

cooking, dishes, and prepping

vacuuming, dusting, mopping, sweeping, windows, floors

Weeding (when I feel like it)

All child-related errands/appointments/grooming/shopping/drs/etc

I'll make his lunch when he decides he wants to take it - but it's usually just leftovers from dinner or maybe a PBJ.

I'm sure there are other things I do. I think it's important to note what I don't do:

his laundry

yardwork

bill paying/financial stuff (I HATE it and he loves it...worked out perfectly for me)!

emeraldwednesda · May 2010

My DH and I define my job as a sahm as taking care of T, not necessarily taking care of DH or the house. So we still split the cooking, cleaning and laundry the way we did when I was working (I think DH didn't try to renegotiate it because I'm a terrible cook and not much better at other aspects of housekeeping). I do more of the errands now, and all organization/appointments/activities etc for T. GL and hope to see you more now. :-)

tri_bride05 · May 2010

emeraldwednesda:
My DH and I define my job as a sahm as taking care of T, not necessarily taking care of DH or the house. So we still split the cooking, cleaning and laundry the way we did when I was working (I think DH didn't try to renegotiate it because I'm a terrible cook and not much better at other aspects of housekeeping). I do more of the errands now, and all organization/appointments/activities etc for T. GL and hope to see you more now. :-)

Ditto

Mrs.BoomBoom · May 2010

I take care of Q. I shop and make the meals. I try to provide a steady stream of leftovers for DH. We have a housekeeper and while I do some of the laundry (mostly baby laundry) DH does most of it. DH also does the dishes.

gracendantho26 · May 2010

Yeek! I am not sure I can list all of the things I do but I do make lunch for DH. I make it after dinner at the same time I make lunch for the kids to send for pre-K and first grade. I usually use leftovers from that nights dinner for DH. Here is a short list of what I do

Get them ready for school

Pick them up

play dates

laundry

dishes

clean the house

grocery shop/shop for their clothes and household items

make dinner

do the dishes

make dinner

we sort of share bathtime but it's mostly me

we split bedtime (alternate reading books each night..the kids keep track of who has who that night)

doctors appts

*and I do all volunteering at their schools

ETA My advice is to do what feels comfortable. For me, as lame as it sounds, I don't mind making his lunch because I know he is working his a$$ off and while I can walk in the kitchen and make lunch it's easier and healthier for him (and our pocketbook) to just grab what I made him or lunch. He is super mellow about it though..I am sick right now so he was left to fend for himself today and had to get the kids dressed, take them to school and get lunch and he doesn't make a peep about it. If he was a turd about it I'd be irritated.

Mama_v2.0 · May 2010

If I am awake which I always am, I actually do pack DH a lunch to take while feeding the kids breakfast. I maintain the house and laundry during the week but I don't try to catch up until the weekend. Other than that I make sure everyone has food and clothing, keep schedules orgainized, and take care of whatever odds and ends pop up.

gsbabygirl · May 2010

My DH works 12 hr shifts, 7 days a week most times. So I'm in charge of everything that has to do with the kids and the house. I don't make him breakfast or lunch, but I make dinner for everyone and depending on what shift he's on (graveyard or swing) I will make him a fresh dinner when he get's home. I'm in charge of all the kids school work, dr appointments, school appointments and anything related to them. I do the laundry, the house cleaning, the yard work and take care of car related issues. I pay the bills. If something is broken, I either try to fix it myself or find someone who can. I do volunteer at my daughter's grade school once a week in the classroom and in my daughter's preschool 2-3 times a month including snacks. I'm lucky that I have an awesome MIL who takes the kids whenever I need a break and who's house is an open door and we can just come over and hang out all the time. Plus she only lives about 6 blocks from us. We go to my parents house once a week for dinner which also gives me a sort of a break from the demands.

LV2006 · May 2010

It would probably be easier to list the things that aren't my jobs...

I don't:

mow/edge the lawns

put the garbage cans out for collection

take out the garbage (at least not often)

I do:

all laundry start to finish

all cooking (except grilling)

all shopping, including gifts for his family

all cleaning

all financial work (bills, etc.)

all planning, organizing, scheduling, etc.

taking care of our girl every day/all day (although he is very involved after work, and usually gives the evening bath)

And yes, I do usually make his lunch, but it is really just putting leftover dinner into a dish for him to take to work. If there are no leftoevers I don't make anything special. This is much better for both of us since if he doesn't have lunch to take he'll get crappy drivethrough which is bad for his health and our budget.

I am working on trying to get a little more assistance from him around the house because I am starting to resent all that I do. But since I did all of this even when I was the only one in our family working, it will probably be a very hard thing to renegotiate.

BlissfulGurl · May 2010

Can't add much more but just wanted to say how exciting for you! We'll have to get the kids together on one of my days off!!

green*eyes · May 2010

emeraldwednesda:
My DH and I define my job as a sahm as taking care of T, not necessarily taking care of DH or the house. So we still split the cooking, cleaning and laundry the way we did when I was working (I think DH didn't try to renegotiate it because I'm a terrible cook and not much better at other aspects of housekeeping). I do more of the errands now, and all organization/appointments/activities etc for T. GL and hope to see you more now. :-)

Ditto this, but DH took over cooking, which I had done previously, because he does it while I am putting E to bed, and then we eat together.

SeasonalCook · May 2010

Wow, congratulations on your new role!

NorcalLinds · May 2010

thanks for the feedback! its interesting to hear all the different "arrangements"

i think its going to take a little time to work everything through.

pkw · May 2010

emeraldwednesda:
My DH and I define my job as a sahm as taking care of T, not necessarily taking care of DH or the house. So we still split the cooking, cleaning and laundry the way we did when I was working (I think DH didn't try to renegotiate it because I'm a terrible cook and not much better at other aspects of housekeeping). I do more of the errands now, and all organization/appointments/activities etc for T. GL and hope to see you more now. :-)

Ditto this except that I still do the cooking.

We grocery shop together and run a lot of errands together, it gets done faster. But you also have to remember that DH has 3 consecutive days off a week because he works 4 10's. So he has more time to do those things with me, we spend one of his days off (he chooses) a week running errands and the rest he can "relax." I also am in school so he does need to take on some responsibilities because of that so that I can do homework and attend class.

dblhappiness · May 2010

I feel like ours is a constant work in progress. I definitely handle everything kid-related (taking them to school or playdates or doc appts, feeding them, changing them, etc) and most of the house stuff. While I never get thru most of my to-do lists, I just set 5 major things that need to get done outside of our usual stuff (grocery shop, a load of laundry, clean a bathroom or even just putting together meals, etc).

I've been a SAHM for awhile but like I said, we're still trying to adjust since DH went back to work and the boys are in 2 different schools. You'll find your niche!!

JustK · May 2010

You have all of the answers that you need here so I can only echo the other posters but I just wanted to chime in and say that you should not feel defeated if DH gets home and the home is turned upside down and with an energetic toddler the mess factor can be off the charts. This is the irony of being a SAHM. Because DS and I are home all day, the house is used from sun up to sun down and toys aren't generally put away until just before bedtime. My priority is taking care of my LO and if the house isn't immaculate by the time DH gets home because I chose a play date after an activity, DH and I are ok with it.

emeraldwednesda · May 2010

JustK makes an excellent point above. The more you're in the house the messier it gets, and you may also find that you use more electricity, water, toilet paper, dish soap, etc etc being home more. Definitely not what you were asking about but I was surprised by all that!

chedder143 · May 2010

The home is my domain when the hubs is working. He has his "moments" and then we have the sit down talk of reminding him what it was like when he was the SAHD Stick out tongue

I pretty much take care of everything when it comes to the home...the laundry, dishes, meals, clean up, etc.

I also make his lunches though. But I used to do this when I was working too.

On his days off, he usually takes over some of the household duties. Which is nice and I am extremely appreciative. During his workdays, if he isn't coming off a double or isn't too tired, he will even help out with the kids. Which is a HUGE help.

Being a SAHM is no joke. It's tough. My co-workers/friends at my old place of employment always tell me that "it must be nice to have all this extra time on your hands and to be able to relax."

I have to control the urge to throat punch and then say, "it is still work, but a different kind of work." I also tell them that you'd think I'd have more hours in the day to do the things that I need to do, but I don't.

Sometimes I sit back at the end of the day when the kiddos are in bed and wonder how on earth I managed to pull this off when I was working full-time. Mad props to working moms.

Want a personalized experience?

Stay at home moms questions :-)

Re: Stay at home moms questions :-)

Choose Another Board

Search Boards