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TulipsAndChampagne
member
Food Allergies to Eggs, Milk, Peanuts, Tree Nuts & Beef
Challenged Soy and tolerated it.
Diaper raffle=Less gift?
TulipsAndChampagne
member
in Baby Showers
Do any of you ever wonder if the girls that come here or elsewhere on the bump to complain that they did not get anything off their registry, were the ones that asked for diapers and wipes (raffle) on the invite AND then did not get the big ticket items they thought should have been purchased off their registry.
I know for a fact that when I see this request on a shower invite, I subtract the diapers and wipes cost from my budget and then just get a little $5 outfit or something small. I have noticed that the showers with these "raffles" tend to get a lot of small items and clothing...
Food Allergies to Eggs, Milk, Peanuts, Tree Nuts & Beef
Challenged Soy and tolerated it.
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Re: Diaper raffle=Less gift?
I have a set budget, so yes if people are asking for diapers, books or what ever else in addition to the gift itself, I would choose a total package of what I had in my budget to spend, not extra. A small pack of diapers is about $10 here, if I have a budget of $25 that means you are getting something worth 15 from your registry, if there is nothing worth $15 I will get you an outfit!
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DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10
Thank GOD I am not the only one! A card =$2. A book = $10! At least!
What we are doing for my shower is this ...
I will put diapers and wipes on my registry but don't expect them, I then bought from some website diaper raffle tickets. They give you 20 raffle tickets and each ticket is 1 dollar. At the end of the shower the winning raffle ticket will get a prize. That way people are not buying me diapers but donating a dollar to a diaper fund. And if they win the get a prize!
OK thanks for the clarification!
thanks from me, too, since I had no clue, and personally think it sounds tacky to have that, but that may just be me.
Personally I only went to one "book instead of card" shower and loved it. FWIW I usually spend $2.50-$4.00 on a card (depending on the card, I pick what I like and don't usually pay much attention to how much it cost,) and the book I bought was a little board book that also cost about $5.00. Guests signed the books instead of the cards, which would have been tossed. So I didn't "subtract" from my gift to get the book instead, same as I wouldn't subtract for the wrapping or the card. I budget based on what I get off the registry, that's it.
So you're also going to shake down your guest for cash at the shower? That really is a shame, because you're basically going to make anyone who doesn't participate look cheap.
It's a party, for crying out loud, not a fundraiser. People are already bringing you gifts. How greedy can you get?
Please, please, reconsider. This is really inappropriate.
a diaper raffle to me is NOT that.
I put this in my invites.. "bring a pack of pampers for the parents to be for the possibility to win the perfect shower prize. the more packs your provide the better your probability"
it doesn't necessarily mean that they're SUPPOSED to bring them, but can if they want to get in on the chance to win something a lot more than what the games will be giving at the shower.
my diaper raffle prize is a huge basket with TONS of stuff in it.
my best friend did this at her shower, had her daughter in feb and STILL doesn't need diapers yet. so i'd rather do this, and kinda fall even with what was spent on the shower all together in diapers than not be happy with anything.
The Nutty Life
I deduct the amount of diapers I'm requested to bring from the registry gift I buy. I usually spend about $50 so...that means instead of spending $50 on the registry gift I spend $40. I normally don't deduct a book because I can find a board book for $1 at Target or the dollar store. I always get a card...even though I get a book (I have a thing about writing in books).
I don't "get" the larrge gift for the diaper raffle...seems that money would be better spent just buying diapers. and even though people are not MADE to participate it looks really bad if they don't. I've been to showers where you "bought" for a dollar a paper where you wrote what you thought the baby's weight would be and another where you wrote the date you thought the baby would actually be born (or maybe it was the time). I didn't want to participate because I had no clue when the MTB was even due...although there were people there who did know this info. I felt VERY obligated to particpate in both.
One thing I don't understand when people say they didn't have to buy diapers for 6 months. Every shower I've gone to that had the diaper raffles, etc. the sizes were always either newborn or size 1 that were brought. I'm sorry but a baby does not wear size one for MONTHS. So...unless they are requesting larger size diapers...this just doesn't seem to ring true. Of course I suppose it's possible their babies never grew?
As soon as I think, I've heard it all... I am shocked that you think this is remotely appropriate. So from this diaper raffle you will gain $20?? (since you only have 20 tickets to sell). What can that do.. maybe two packs of diapers all while losing your dignity and self respect... totally not worth it to me.
Ohhh Poor Emily Post is rolling over in her grave right now!!
If your guests were excited to spend extra money they'd buy you a bigger gift.
SHAKING DOWN YOUR GUESTS FOR MORE PRESENTS AND/OR CASH IS UNBEARABLE RUDE AND TACKY. Yeah, they may not say anything about it to your face, but they WILL be talking about it behind your back.
I was recently invited to a shower that requested books instead of cards. At a recent family gathering, those of us who were invited discussed this at length. We'd never be so rude as to say something to the guest of honor and/or the hosts, but people do talk about it.
It cracks me up that the people receiving the load of diapers always think this is the best idea. Sure they do - they're reaping the benefits of incredibly pushy, tacky and classless behavior!
Aren't showers enough? Shower presents aren't enough? Now you have to try to come up with ways of getting even more from your guests like months worth of diapers? Babies are your responsibility. If you are lucky enough to get a present from someone to help you with your new baby, consider yourself very fortunate. Please do not try and get even more from people.
Oh this is a horrible idea! This is just asking your guests to pay $1 at your shower. Yes, they'll all probably play along, and they will never say anything to you. But they will be talking about it, believe me.
First, the point of a shower is not to "make back" money that was spent. Second, are you throwing your own shower?
I read some of these posts (and some on the nest) and wonder if anyone these days has heard of Emily Post or Miss Manners. Emily Post was updated in 2004. It's a huge book, I have it. It is STILL NOT OK to request certain types of gifts or play any games that request $ from your guests.
you take the NB or sz 1 back to Wal-Mart and exchange them for whatever size you need. You do the same with clothes.
I think it is funny/sad that people are SO bent out of shape over this. If you don't like it then don't participate and if you do then DO NOT TALK ABOUT THE HOST/MOM-TO-BE behind their backs, as this is childish.
I before this had never heard of a diaper raffle, but now that I have I think this is a good idea and will suggest this to the ones (3 aunts and SIL) who are throwing my shower. I registered for diapers anyway, but if I get a few more pack by doing this then great. I really don't need any more clothes as my family and I have gotten a TON for him in all sizes on sale at the outlet mall recently.
Lastly if you spend less on my gift because you bought diapers then oh well most of the stuff on my registry is under $20 anyway so I'm sure I'll still get alot of stuff that I wanted and if not then I'll just return it for what I do want/need.
I don't agree with the $1 tickets as that does seem a bit tacky, but if it works then hey why not.
Oh Pook, I love you. I seriously love you. After reading all of the diaper raffle/diaper dude/build a book library posts lately, I cringe at the current crop of MTB out there who think coming up with clever ways to get more "stuff" out of people is acceptable. It used to be that no one even registered yet printed registry info on invitations. Now we are basically doing full on fundraisers for parents to be. Where has etiquette gone???
So OK from now on, every time I see this done, I will just tell the hosts and the moms to be how tacky, greedy and classeless this is to their faces. Thanks for the suggestion! I will totally start doing this. Seriously this is a great idea and a great way to weed out the current crop of gift grabby folks who constantly invite me to showers upon showers with ever growing registries and requests for more crap like books and diapers and hey even frozen dinners to stock their fridges too.
So the thinking is, forget years of commonly accepted etiquette and just "go with what works and nets you the most loot"? LOVELY.
If you want to be a b**ch and tell them to their face then so be it. I'd rather know people are talking about me then I know I'm important enough for them to care. If you have a problem with as you call it "netting more loot" then DON'T ATTEND the shower.
If you view it as a "fundraiser" then DON"T ATTEND.
I'm glad you seem to be okay with the idea that you may lose some friends (or at the least lose their respect) due to being greedy. As long as you go in knowing that, to each their own.
DANILYNN - I don't think this person cares. I personally wouldn't want to come off looking that greedy. I'd just buy my own stuff before I risked it.
Hilarious, because I just responded to one of your posts on another thread. I think we have the same kind of manners/etiquette style.
I'm glad (and feel fortunate) that my friends feel prepared to buy diapers themselves, so I get to buy gifts that I like and want to buy, rather than being forced into diapers or books.
Pook - you said it. I read some of these gift grabby showers and think, thank GOD I am not invited to these kinds of showers. Its just too upsetting thinking there are people out there who are this needy for stuff.