Embarrassed to say "no, he's not STTN!"

ibis · May 2010

This is the question everyone's asking me now that LO is almost 4 mo old. No, he's not STTN, not even close. I always feel ashamed and like I have to give people excuses but I wish I could just say "no" and move on.

I'm also dreading having the pedi ask me... like I'm going to "get in trouble" or something.

Anyone have any good comebacks to this question? I wish I weren't so self-conscious about it.

JillBMama · May 2010

I have no "good comebacks" but I have come to terms with saying "no" and moving on. Took me awhile though. Tons of women who don't even have children ask me this. I could care less now what they think. She'll do it when she is ready to not eat during the night (which isn't yet).

dionnemd10 · May 2010

why be embarrassed? some kids sleep some don't. if you kid is giving you 2 long stretches that is really all that matters. eating, growing etc okay then really sttn is over rated (on these boards at least). my 3 year old has rarely slept through the night--i don't expect my 4 month old to. and solids have never helped me either.

so as far as comebacks i usually just tell my friends that i hate them the dr. has never asked--only to see if they are sleeping longer stretches--like 3-5 hours at a time--which he does.

vmm0016 · May 2010

I don't have any good comeback, my sweet girl STTN most days but some days she gets me up at 5am. I know I am luckier than most people. I also wanted to say our pedi didn't even ask if she STTN; so don't worry about that. I hope he does it for you soon but don't feel embarrassed. It has nothing to do with you!

andiandlou · May 2010

try posting this on the ap board. my ds does not sleep through the night either but i don't feel embarrassed about it we bed share so i'm able to feed on the spot and get him back to sleep quickly

wpowell · May 2010

I know how you feel. I kind of get embarrassed, I feel like I'm doing something wrong when people ask if DD is STTN and I tell them no. I try really hard to just move on but some people make me feel stupid.

ACR · May 2010

My pedi didn't bat an eye about DS not STTN. She said "ah, that usually comes between 4-6 mo." I asked if I needed to do anything to encourage it, and she said no, usually it just happens on its own.

So, I feel good now - we're doing what DS needs, and we'll re-evaluate when he's older.

Jenice32 · May 2010

I say, "No, but he's only four months, he has time."

Luckily my pediatrician has never expected him to STTN at his age and is very cool with me not wanting to sleep train him. I've got a pretty easy going kid who only wakes to eat and I know he'll STTN when he's able to.

nickicl · May 2010

You know people will say rude things no matter what so you'd best get readied for it. My son usually sleeps 6 hrs which I think is awesome and yet all kinds of people tell me stories of their 3 mo. old sleeping 12 hr a night. I am pretty sure some of them are not remembering quite right or outright lying but the bottom line is, who cares about them?!

Prinycesa07 · May 2010

Awww i dont think you should feel embarrassed at all. I think many times people just ask that to make conversation and really don't care about the answer. And im sure you pedi won't say anything. Mine asked at my 4 month appt and i said yes and she said oh ok, you are lucky. So im guessing many aren't at that point!

littlemaybaby · May 2010

We crossed the 5 month mark this weekend and I'm still in the same boat. People are still asking and I'm still saying no. And we are still getting all the "you should try formula" or "you should try CIO" recommendations.

I just tell people that there are a lot of growth and developmental milestones in the first 6 months, and he'll STTN when he's ready.

madalynnsmommy09 · May 2010

LO isn't either yet, gets up once a night. We had 2-3 months of hell with her where she wouldn't eat we would be up for 1-2 hours fighting with her to eat every night.

She now wakes up eats and goes back to sleep within 10 minutes.

So if people give me grief I say I rather her do that then fight with her.

LurkieLoo · May 2010

Don't worry about it- my son is over 5 months old and still wakes up twice a night. Every baby is different.

sheremy · May 2010

DD is almost 6 months old and the longest she has ever slept was about 5 hours (that only happened once). Most nights she wakes up every 2-3 hours. We are working on sleep training but the nighttime weaning is not going well. I figure she will sleep through the night when she is ready. I've talked to a lot of moms that said their LO's didn't sleep through the night until they were a year old. I think every baby is different and you shouldn't be embarrassed that your LO isn't STTN yet. He will when he is ready.

amyu1977 · May 2010

This thread is so refreshing! My son isn't sleeping through the night, yet, either, and I get so annoyed when people ask me if he is. He's only five months old! I do believe he'll do it when he's ready.

Try not to feel embarrassed. If anything, your son wants to be with you a lot, even during the night, so you can be proud of that.

SpiffyTiffy · May 2010

I asked my pedi at our 4 mo. appt. about this b/c I thought my LO should be by now, and he said it is normal for BF babies to not go as long, but I could try a little rice cereal at night before putting him to bed. My LO DID NOT LIKE IT!!!! Bummer- so we are still getting up regularly, and still being asked about it. I don't like the question, but just shrug it off. All babies are different!

stckgrl79 · May 2010

Like other pp said, dont feel embarrassed. Most people ask for conversation and those that make comments are usually the ones who either dont have kids or could care less about how you are doing. I know 2 people whose kids didnt STTN----1 at a year and 1 at 20 months! It will happen when it happens. From what I hear from most it is around 6 months (??) That seems to be the norm with most people I know who have babies. Then you get the rare person you wanna choke who says, "Oh sucks for you my baby STTN since we brought him home from the hospital!" La-di-frickin-da! And my response to that is "well sucks for you that you missed out on all that cuddly, snuggly, u and baby time!" Stick out tongue

DrDPM · May 2010

When people ask me, I don't say yes or no - usually something like "he's a good sleeper" or "he does pretty well overnight". I don't want to hear everyone's opinions, so I try to keep it vague. Carter goes to bed around 7:30 and wakes up at 1 am and again at 5 am (when I get up for work). So for me, I'm happy with his sleeping. He'll completely STTN when he's ready.

With DD, she was almost 11 months before she STTN. She just turned 2 a few days ago, and she's a great sleeper now. DS1 started STTN around 4 months and he's just as good a sleeper as she is. Just goes to show, it'll all work itself out.

erinkate23 · May 2010

I sent you a PM with some articles to read, but here's my response:

"I don't STTN - why would he?"

I wake up every night to pee and get a drink at 2am . lol

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