little things bothering me about our DC

CA_EAM · May 2010

We have only been with our in-home DC for 2 months, but little things are starting to bother me. DH thinks it's just me, being me, and will never be happy with DC. Am I being overly sensitive?

It's an older lady who has one or two other kids during the day, so she is not swamped. When I get there every day she is in her PJs and gets ready at some point, mostly during naps. She can never tell me exactly how much he slept or when he ate even though I gave her a little log to use. She has her house for sale, and if it sells she'll be moving across the state. On Friday when I picked DS up her house was uprooted as she prepared for a garage sale the next day. DS was in the arms of some family member. I never see him playing with stimulating toys even though I have offered to bring her toys or anything she needs. She watches kids during the work day AND from 7pm-2am for another family.

What sold me on this woman was the great reviews I got from her references, the fact that she has few kids, and the grandmother-factor. I don't doubt that maybe at one time she was fantastic, but now I think she is just over it/too old. Would you be looking for a new place too?

bellaciao · May 2010

From what you described, yes, I would be searching for another DC provider...I truly believe that us moms have a good intuition when it comes to what's right and what's not for our children - follow your instincts.

justrachet · May 2010

I don't think you're being over-sensitive. She sounds like she has a lot of other things going on besides taking care of your LO, which is what you're paying her for. It does sound like she's over it. I'd find someone else.

trinny · May 2010

Agree with PP. There are things that bother me about our DCP, but they're usually stuff with the cost or short-changing the teachers/classrooms. I have NEVER doubted the level of care, commitment and safety DD gets when she's there.

Maybride2 · May 2010

That kind of stuff would definitely bother me.

It's obvious that this woman sees watching your kid as a side thing she's doing in addition to her regular life rather than her job for 8 hours a day.

This is why we didn't consider in-homes..........every single experience I've had with them is similar to yours. I want whoever is watching my kid to view it as the serious job that it is, and I'll pay more for it. I don't doubt that the teachers at DS's daycare gossip while taking care of the kids........but I don't have to worry about them squeezing in showers/getting ready for a garage sale/cleaning their house/etc while they are supposed to be taking care of him.

And I definitely wouldn't be cool with "some other family member" holding him when I got there. You have no clue who that person is, they shouldn't have access to your kid.

SeattleMegan · May 2010

Wow, I'd be bothered, too. At our old DC there were a bunch of "little things" that bothered me that I tried to dismiss as me just being a sensitive first-time mom. But, after a year, we pulled DD out and now we're in a MUCH better place that we don't have any doubts about. I think you have to trust your gut - leaving your child at DC can be hard enough without having doubts/issues.

I definitely think it would be best for you to find another place. Good luck. I know it's tough

Spenjamins · May 2010

Maybride2:

That kind of stuff would definitely bother me.

It's obvious that this woman sees watching your kid as a side thing she's doing in addition to her regular life rather than her job for 8 hours a day.

This is why we didn't consider in-homes..........every single experience I've had with them is similar to yours. I want whoever is watching my kid to view it as the serious job that it is, and I'll pay more for it. I don't doubt that the teachers at DS's daycare gossip while taking care of the kids........but I don't have to worry about them squeezing in showers/getting ready for a garage sale/cleaning their house/etc while they are supposed to be taking care of him.

And I definitely wouldn't be cool with "some other family member" holding him when I got there. You have no clue who that person is, they shouldn't have access to your kid.

This.

omalley · May 2010

justrachet:
I don't think you're being over-sensitive. She sounds like she has a lot of other things going on besides taking care of your LO, which is what you're paying her for. It does sound like she's over it. I'd find someone else.

I agree with this exactly.

Since you will have to find someone new if/when she moves, I would start looking now.

Lotte134 · May 2010

That would bother me a lot. We have great in home care for DS and they fill out a sheet each day with what he ate (for lunch and snacks), how long he napped, and usually a few other notes about what he did, liked, said, etc... each day. Her not being able to say what your DC did each day is a really big red flag to me.

Mr.&MrsS · May 2010

If you doubt the level of care then you are not being over-sensitive. I would switch. I also wouldnt like the idea of just waiting to see if my day care would be moving across the state and having to find a new one. If you are going to have to look for another day care at some point, why not start now?

Pesky · May 2010

Ditto pps -- I'd be looking for a new daycare. All of that are major red flags for me and I'm a big fan of listening to your gut. DH always thought I was wrong when I would haul one of the kids to the dr. 90% of the time, I was right.

jlw2505 · May 2010

Follow you gut and find someplace else. I would never leave my child in the situation you described. Too many negatives to even list out.

MrsB0701 · May 2010

I absolutely would move my DC to another provider. It seems that she is CURRENTLY unstable. Running a daycare is still a business and as such she should still dress for work!

lewis514 · May 2010

I actually don't think any of these things are "little."

I went to an in-home daycare as a child and my DD goes to a center (just works for our schedule better). As a child, my provider never was in her PJ's in the morning. This just seems unprofessional to me personally. I would also have issue with not being able to provide more info on the day and I would have a HUGE issue of a random family member holding my child if I didn't know them. If she is going to move, then you will eventually need a new place anyway.

anglynn1124 · May 2010

I would not be okay with any of those things..We have DD in a home daycare & I am a big proponent of them. I think they can be wonderful places for children & great alternatives to center care IF you find the right person. Your lady definetly doesnt sound like she views caring for children as her career. Finding somebody that does is KEY ! I would search for a different provider ASAP and when you do, look for one with an early childhood education degree, who is licensed , possibly has worked in preschools or taught before. Someone that has devoted a good number of years to teaching children most likely truly enjoys doing that & that is what you should look for.

mysticporter · May 2010

Like the others said, these don't seem like little things, it seems she is fitting in providing DC around her life.

Only thing I'd be wondering about, generally if your house is on the market you have to vacate when someone comes to look at. What is she doing with DS/other kids she's watching during those times?

akl0506 · May 2010

yes. if she is moving, you'll have to anyway...so why not get a head start? the not being able to tell you about napping and eating would be a big deal for me. AND, the fact that she is operating on little to no sleep would not sit well with me.

The_Jen626 · May 2010

Yes, I would switch.

There are little things that bug me occasionally, but I am more than 90% happy with my DCP at any given moment. And I never doubt that she is giving my kid the best attention possible. We use an in-home provider, and she has a very structured day, I have seen her pj's exactly twice in 8 months (once when I dropped off very early, and once when her 3 kids were sick). She also gives me a "report card" every day that lists nap times, what she is eating, etc.

This lady sounds horrible!

naflmj · May 2010

Wow, compared to my *little things* those seem huge. I would look for.sometjing else!

momofolivia · May 2010

i would not keep my child in that situation.

KAtwinmom · May 2010

It's important that you feel comfortable with your childcare provider, and that you feel confident that you can voice your concerns and get answers that you think are appropriate for your situation. Open communication is essential. Your child should be getting individual attention based on his needs and developmental progress. Have you considered looking at child care programs that have planned daily activities?

Temp785382312506150 · May 2010

I would NOT be ok with any of the things you've mentioned. Mother's intuition can be a very powerful thing. I would start looking for a new DC provider ASAP.