I just ruined the night...

Zed58 · May 2010

We are having a couple of dh's friends over for the night. Having some drinks and playing some board games...our favorite pastime.

Anyway, we were playing the game 'Loaded Questions' (if you haven't played it, I strongly suggest you give it a try) and the "question" was: IF YOU COULD HAVE ONE WISH WHAT WOULD IT BE?

My answer was 'I'd wish for my baby back.'

There's only five of us playing/here tonight (dh, myself, dh's two best friends that he has known FOREVER and one of their spouses). They all know of the mc.

The silence that filled the room was unbearable. I feel totally sheepish.

I had no intention of being 'Debbie Downer' of the night, but I couldn't even try to think of anything else I'd wish for. I wrote down the first thing that came to my mind and I couldn't, for the life of me, think of anything else.

I'm feeling like a total jack@ss. This was supposed to be a fun, lighthearted kind of night, and I took it to a level it wasn't supposed to go to. What's wrong with me!?!?

jerriesgirl · May 2010

Don't be so hard on yourself. You were being honest.

auburn76chic · May 2010

I agree try not to worry about it. Sometimes it just best to be honest about how you feel.

SL2010 · May 2010

NOTHING. Nothing is wrong w/ you. I think if any of us on here were asked that question I'd bet that would be our answers too. I know mine would be along those lines.

Don't beat yourself up for feeling what you're feeling. If these are close friends of yours they will understand that you are coping with a huge loss.

I know it feels like we're supposed to "buck up" and move on, but that is so hard to actually do.

Be kind to yourself today.

elizabeth&james · May 2010

Not a thing is wrong with you! We were hanging out w/ a friend couple last night and celebrated DH's b'day w/ dessert- he was closing his eyes to make the wish and I was thinking there only can be one wish right now-- I think we are so consumed by our situation that I'm not sure how you would come up w/ something else.

I had a heart-to-heart w/ my friend last night-- and explaining what a tough time i've been having lately- and something made me tear up. She quickly apologized as if she shouldn't have asked a question or "made" me cry-- but really, I think it's impt for the ppl who care about us to know the sadness too-- I mean, we have to deal w/ it every minute and they need to be able to know how to support and understand that it is always w/ us, no matter if we are "happy" on the outside. Point being- I don't think it's a bad thing that you gave your honest answer-- it is your reality and if you can't be real and honest w/ your close friends, that's not fair to you!

rock-elle · May 2010

I've done that before, said something about the m/c and it has gone over like a lead balloon. I kind of think though, if you had said something you wanted somebody else back that had passed (like a grandparent, a friend, a parent etc) then their response would be way different than the response to the lost pg.

I think it's something that shoulnd't be swept away but we should be free to talk about it if we wish w/o bringing down the entire party or convo.

millejj1 · May 2010

rock-elle:
I've done that before, said something about the m/c and it has gone over like a lead balloon. I kind of think though, if you had said something you wanted somebody else back that had passed (like a grandparent, a friend, a parent etc) then their response would be way different than the response to the lost pg.

I think it's something that shoulnd't be swept away but we should be free to talk about it if we wish w/o bringing down the entire party or convo.

Took the words right out of my mouth. There is nothing wrong with you! Hugs, take care of yourself today.

Fryday37 · May 2010

i dont think you ruined the night you were just speaking your mind. i can understand feeling like a jack@ss because you put your heart out there and it was met by silence. i think it is the others that should feel silly. they should have acknowledged your feelings instead of being silent. i think you should be able to say things like that in front of your close friends. sorry that happened to you...try not to be so hard on yourself.

SmallestWilk · May 2010

Nothing wrong with you...you couldn't lie. I get tired of my DH telling me I can't 'unload' on ppl. That's bull -- honesty is not unloading...As Dr. Suess says, "Be who you are and say what you feel. Those who matter don't mind and those who mind don't matter."

Amanda02a · May 2010

Don't be so hard on yourself! ((hugs)) You're just being honest and I would have had the SAME response.

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