Thoughts...MIL and a shower.

blondie42107 · May 2010

At this point in my pregnancy, I've had no complications, etc - hence low risk. The practice that I'm with recommends that I be within an hour of the hospital once I hit 36 weeks. From what I've read online and in some books, this is pretty common with some even suggesting that it start at 34 weeks.

My MIL tells my husband today that she has a date for our baby shower. I'll be 37 weeks. Dh and I understand that since she is hosting, she gets to pick the date and we're grateful that she's throwing us a shower. I guess we're both really shocked that she didn't ask us about a preference or if we were available that day as we're the ones that have to travel and it's over an hour drive. Dh commented, "We might have a baby at the baby shower," hinting that we could very well have the baby before that and she just said, "Oh." Then Dh told her that I'm not supposed to travel after 36 weeks and he said she sounded disappointed and commented that she would see if she could move it.

My MIL and I get along well but I'm afraid by Dh informing her of our concerns that she'll think I'm being ungrateful. Should I just smile and let it be knowing I won't be able to attend the shower and just have Dh go?

Sorry it's long... TIA!

Mrs.Wanabe · May 2010

I would not see how she could think you were being ungrateful. You are just following Dr.'s orders.

I think she has plenty of time to change the date.

blondie42107 · May 2010

My family is hosting a shower for us as well and I'll be 32 weeks. My MIL is aware of this and I guess we're just shocked that she would think we would want to travel at 37 weeks or that this would give us enough time before the baby comes. My mom was nervous that we wouldn't have time to write out thanks you's and finish getting things ready with having it any later than 32 weeks. Dh felt bad telling her over the phone but didn't know what else to say or do.

Mrs.Wanabe · May 2010

I just don't think it is that big of a deal. She called to tell you about the shower so telling her over the phone was the only option.

weelass24 · May 2010

How far is "more than an hour"? I think you can handle being 2 hours away for a day. I was 2+ hours away for a whole weekend at 37 weeks. I just made sure I knew where a hospital was in case I needed to go.

greenclown · May 2010

I think you and your DH are thinking way too much about this, unless I'm missing something. If you can't travel after 36 weeks, that's all you need to tell her. If she's upset by it and thinks you're ungrateful, that's ridiculous and it's her problem, not yours.

blondie42107 · May 2010

weelass24:

How far is "more than an hour"? I think you can handle being 2 hours away for a day. I was 2+ hours away for a whole weekend at 37 weeks. I just made sure I knew where a hospital was in case I needed to go.

It's 2 hours away and the two nearest hospitals are small and they don't delivery babies.

katcarls · May 2010

weelass24:
How far is "more than an hour"? I think you can handle being 2 hours away for a day. I was 2+ hours away for a whole weekend at 37 weeks. I just made sure I knew where a hospital was in case I needed to go.

This. DH and I are planning to spend Memorial Day weekend with his family almost four hours away. I'll be 38 weeks and I'm not that concerned about it.

TheMrs923 · May 2010

weelass24:
How far is "more than an hour"? I think you can handle being 2 hours away for a day. I was 2+ hours away for a whole weekend at 37 weeks. I just made sure I knew where a hospital was in case I needed to go.

I've never been pregnant but I think I agree with Wee. I fully admit that I would probably write this exact post if I were in your shoes however, I'm thinking one day might not be a huge deal.

weelass24 · May 2010

blondie42107:
weelass24:

How far is "more than an hour"? I think you can handle being 2 hours away for a day. I was 2+ hours away for a whole weekend at 37 weeks. I just made sure I knew where a hospital was in case I needed to go.

It's 2 hours away and the two nearest hospitals are small and they don't delivery babies.

OK. I swear I am not trying to be rude, but how does a hospital not deliver babies? How is that even possible?

roshybride · May 2010

It's not ungrateful to make a reasonable request so that you can attend your own shower. I mean even if you were in town, 37 weeks is on the later side for a shower. You are giving her plently of notice. It shouldn't be a problem for them to move it. And they should ask the guest of honor when they are available.

blondie42107 · May 2010

It's a rural area - lots of country, dirt roads. The hospital I was born at no longer delivers babies and the hospital that my SIL works at no longer does either.

blondie42107 · May 2010

TheMrs923:
weelass24:

How far is "more than an hour"? I think you can handle being 2 hours away for a day. I was 2+ hours away for a whole weekend at 37 weeks. I just made sure I knew where a hospital was in case I needed to go.

I've never been pregnant but I think I agree with Wee. I fully admit that I would probably write this exact post if I were in your shoes however, I'm thinking one day might not be a huge deal.

I completely understand what you said and I know that once it's over, it'll be no big deal. We're just trying to be as honest with her as possible so that if she doesn't change the date, she's not upset that I'm not there or thinking I'm just being rude.

swimrbride · May 2010

I don't think it sounds like you are being ungrateful at all. That is pretty late, and odds are even if you don't have a baby by then and don't go into labor, there is a good possibilty driving that far you will be pretty uncomfortable. When I throw a shower I usually pick a few dates that work for me and ask the guest of honor if any of those work.

oh-zysbaby · May 2010

Any hospital can deliver a baby if they have to. Obviously, that's not ideal. I'd say, let her know you will go as long as there aren't any signs of labor, but that you would expect her understanding if you were showing signs.

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