bump break. [long, whiny and vent-ish.]
newyoungmama
member
I feel constantly judged.
what most of you don't know about my life is why it's so easy to judge.
RE: being scared of the knot post....
I was married for 5 months because I got pregnant. he woke up 5 months into marriage and told me he never loved me (even though he told me every day) and that he never would. he said he didn't want the baby, and she should go up for adoption (some of you may remember from 2nd tri.) while I hated (at the time) getting divorced, it made me 1,000 times stronger.
The divorce took near a year to be final because he kept playing games with court, child support, not filing things, etc.
yes it was final yesterday.
yes I am seeing someone. but he treats me better than anyone, and is amazing to DD.
yes we have talked about marriage. not anytime soon, but I'm only human, I get excited.
but don't I DESERVE happiness? just like anyone else?
Re: bump break. [long, whiny and vent-ish.]
yes you deserve happiness. Good for you for getting out of a bad marriage (whether it was your choice or not). Glad you're doing better and things are on the right track.
I must have missed an earlier post if you were getting grief over this.
this!!
Sure you deserve happiness. I think people were just trying to tell you to be cautious.
Also, from what I have seen, people who post on the knot who are not yet engaged get flamed BIG time. So it's probably best if you just stay away from posting there until you actually have a ring on your finger and a proposal story.
I am sorry you feel this way. NO ONE on this board or anywhere is in your shoes. No one can even begin to tell you how to run your life. Nobody is perfect, not even around here and the knotpostsecrect proves that.
I am happy that YOU are happy!!!
Yes you deserve to be happy. Yes it is a great thing that you are out of the relationship with your ex. People sometimes don't think before they "speak" (write) things or how they may come across.
My advice, take things here with a grain of salt. Don't take it personal. If you don't agree with something someone says, let it roll off your back. Be confident in the life you are living!! And keep your chin up
you do deserve happiness.
it is only natural to be excited and i hope it works out for you.
my mom got married 6 months after my parents' divorce was final (took 3 years) and they have been married for almost 20 years.
good luck.
ETA: you took your blog link down
i forgot to bookmark it yesterday (i love the craft posts). that is yours, right? any chance a girl can get a hook-up?
Me too
I saw the flaming, so I lurked. And even after getting the proposal, I only posted a few times on the south asian board and my local board. The bigger boards were very snarky and, IMO, unnecessarily mean.
Funny story: the first time I ever posted on the knot I didn't understand the format and didn't know there was a local board so I asked if anyone was from Miami and if they had been to a specific jeweler.
One girl goes 'why the hell would you ask that here'
And another said 'damn I'm never getting a ring'
LOL
Then I said I was sorry and I'll post on my local board and deleted the post because I didn't know any better and was followed in to my local board post asking why I "DD." I was like, what does "DD" mean?
LOL I'll never forget that day I was totally confused.
I know what comments you are talking about. I think they were just trying to help and warn you to be cautious more than judging you. When I met my DH, I knew I wanted to marry him on our second date. It doesn't take long to fall in love. I think your time frame and history is very normal. And who cares if you're not engaged yet. You can look at wedding stuff just for fun. I just wouldn't get too wrapped up in it if you are not actually planning a wedding. I'm not pregnant yet, but it doesn't stop me from tossing around baby names or nursery decor in my head.
Divorce is awful and difficult under the best of circumstances, and divorce under those circumstances must have felt unbearable at times. I married my first DS's dad because I was young and my parents threatened me with what they would do with my unborn child and I if we *weren't* married. We were divorced 2.5 years later. He is gay. The divorce was difficult, and I was a single mom for 9 years after that. I have never had consistent support from him, we sometimes go more than a year at a time without seeing him, and he is in jail right now.
As hard as divorce is, sometimes we are better off dodging the inevitable bullet.
Good for you. You should have nothing but support. Your baby is beautiful and you deserve nothing but the best.
Of course you deserve happiness. I don't know why you're defending yourself or your choices.
People are always going to judge you for something. If its not this, it'll be something else. Being too young or too old, too single or married too fast, too rich or too poor. SAH or working, too into your looks or too shabby.
We women are the judgiest creatures on the planet. Just do what you gotta do, take support from people willing to give it, and ignore the rest.