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3rd Trimester
When do you visit after someone has a baby?
When my friends have babies, I wait at least a week to visit, then limit my visits to an hour at most. Even then I can recognize that new mommies are tired and need rest and alone time with their babies. Why don't more people realize this? I get that they love us both, and are excited, but I've never felt "disappointed" b/c I didn't get to see a new baby ASAP. It's basically the same thing a week later.
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Re: When do you visit after someone has a baby?
Depends on the person. With my good friends, I've gone to visit in the hospital, but they wanted visitors.
With others, I'll wait and schedule at least after the 2 weeks are up - so they can get used to being home with a baby.?
It depends on the friend. Some friends I've gone to the hospital to visit, others I've waited until they got home and others I waited until I saw them in public like at church or something.
I think a lot of people don't realize this because a) they haven't had children yet or b) if they have had children they forget what those first few days are like and they forget that they are not the only person coming to visit a new mommy and baby.
Baby # 2 edd 11/26/08 - Ezra Jacob born 11/29/08, 9 lbs 6 oz., 21 3/4 in
Baby #3 edd 05/04/13 - Titus Jude born 05/01/13, 9 lb 5 oz. 21.5 in
I usually wait to be invited to visit (which is usually about a week or so).
DMoney will be a kickass big sister
My lupus Birth Story
DD #1 passed away in January 2011 at 14 days old due to congenital heart disease
DD#2 lost in January 2012 at 23 weeks due to anhydramnios caused by a placental abruption
I always ask if they want visitors in the hospital and tell them to be honest. If they are very close friends, I take dinner to their house at least once during the weeks after the baby is born. Our other friends do this too, so they won't have a lot too cook.
When I take dinner by, I call in advance, and don't hang around to talk. If the mom or baby is sleeping, I just leave the food in the kitchen and catch up later. I agree that it is important to give them some time to rest and not feel like they have to play hostess while they are recovering and figuring out a new routine.
I think some people, in their eagerness to see the new baby, just don't think about what the mom has physically just gone through and how tired everyone is.
It depends on the person. Everybody is different, so I visit when I'm invited. I saw my friend's baby last week at 4 days old (she did not give birth in a hospital and had been home for nearly 4 days). She was getting bored and lonely even with her DH around, and appreciated the food, flowers, and the time I spent entertaining her 3-year-old. I'm a more private person and would probably not want visitors at 4 days, but that's just me.
Baby # 2 edd 11/26/08 - Ezra Jacob born 11/29/08, 9 lbs 6 oz., 21 3/4 in
Baby #3 edd 05/04/13 - Titus Jude born 05/01/13, 9 lb 5 oz. 21.5 in