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Babies: 3 - 6 Months
How will you feel about giving BC to your child?
Ok, so our local radio had a discussion topic this morning about whether or not to give a young teen, even tween, birth control.
They had some pretty interesting answers, and I was wondering what you ladies think.
So, will you give your daughter (or even your son) access to birth control when they get older? Do you think it will give them an open door to be promiscuous?
Discuss.
This discussion has been closed.
Re: How will you feel about giving BC to your child?
Ok, so I totally expect some flames, but when DD is old enough (not sure what age, but def. by 13), I will take her to the doctor every 3 months to get the depo shot...or some alternative that doesn't require her to take a daily pill.
As far as DS goes, we'll always make condoms available and have plenty of convos about safe sex.
Good question!
Yes, I will give my children open access to birth control. I'd rather they tell me about it and use protection as opposed to hiding it and getting pregnant. I will be very open about sex and of course I will tell them the dangers but I would also want them to be able to come to me for birth control options.
I don't think it's an open door to be promiscious. My parents preached abstinence and I still had sex. I don't think that stops kids at all. On the contrary, I wasn't able to get on birth control and there were times that I had sex without condoms (I had the same bf for 6 years and we were both virgins, so I wasn't promiscious). I was lucky I never got pregnant as a teen.
Unless you literally sit and watch your 16 year old every minute of the day, they can find time to have sex.
DD will be put on BC as soon as she starts having a period. We've all made mistakes related to sex growing up (well...at least a good chunk of us have) and I intend to help my daughter avoid as many of those as possible. My parents chose the "if I don't see it, it's not happening" approach to our sexuality growing up and I know that's the wrong way to go. I want her to be open with me and discuss things with me. Yes, I'll probably be grossed out by it all and want to scream "NO! Don't do it!!" but it will be her life and I want her to be safe when making those kinds of decisions.
I don't think putting her on BC will encourage promiscuity. I think just giving it to her and letting her go along her merry way would...but not with the discussions that will come along with it.
You all are pretty much saying the same things the people on the radio were. Personally, I haven't made up my mind to whether or not I'm going to give birth control to my daughter. I guess it depends on who she is hanging out with and what type of personality she has...
I am completely open to the idea of providing birth control, and I am going to try my hardest to keep an open line of communication so she will feel comfortable talking with me and DH about sex and whatnot... The idea of raising a teenager kinda scares me lol.
Yep sure will and no I don't think it promotes promiscious behavior. Teens and Tweens are young & stupid and guess what they have sex sometimes. I plan on educating my son about safe sex and talking openly about sex.
My parents did not talk openly about sex at all. I got the sex talk but what I got from it was.... don't do it. Ummmm. #1 not realistic and #2 there isn't much information there. I think the idea or pushing abstinence is riduclous and unrealistic. I also find it hilarous that Bristol Palin is on an abstinence compaign....way to reinforce the fact that that crap doesn't work!!
I believe that "abstinence only" campaigns lead to lots and lots of pregnancies. I certainly believe that abstinence is better, but will definitely teach our kids about all kinds of contraceptives. I don't think making it available is opening the door. I think that if they're going to have sex, they're going to have sex. Better that they have some protection.
ETA: That is, protection from unwanted pregnancy and STDs.
Ditto!
I fully plan on disscussing sex with Parker and making sure that he has the tools that he needs to be safe. IMHO teenagers are going to have sex regardless (for the most part), so I want to make sure that he is safe about it. However I do not plan on letting this practice occur in my house.
If and when I have a little girl, I will make sure that she also has the tools needed to be safe, both birth control and condoms. I think it is important for my kids to be able to come to me and talk to me about sex, and confide in me that they are becoming sexually active. No one did this for me.
Okay, so aside from the fact that this post literally makes me want to cry thinking about my little monkey who can't even sit unassisted yet growing up WAY.TOO.FAST, I am realistic and will provide both education and BC.
This.
Oh, and condoms will also be promoted with DD to protect against STDs.
I was little miss goody goody - straight A student with friends most parents would love their children to have. And I was having sex with my high school boyfriend. And that's not a judgement of your statement at all or what you will choose for your child, just the reality that even a lot of the "good" kids are having sex too.
Yes I will give DS condoms just to be safe, but I will have many, MANY conversations with him about sex and try my hardest to teach him that it's better to wait. I know it's foolish to teach abstinence bc my parents tried that and it definitely did not work, but my parents were also kind of awkward about talking to us about it and I want my kids to know that they can come to me about it bc I would rather them be safe than have a kid too young.
No, I don't think it will give them an open door to being promiscuous. I think they might think it's ok if they have sex as long as they are being safe, but I hope to teach them otherwise.
I agree. I was a great kid. I never drank while I was in high school. (my first drink was given to me by my high school boyfriend 1 month before I went off to college) I had the type of friends that it would NEVER be cool to have done drugs or drink in high school. I was in the top 10% of my class of 250 students. I was a really good kid. I was still getting it on.... so were most all of my friends. Kids have sex, "good" and "bad"!!
ETA: 250 not 2500 that would have been a big class! HA
Yeah, I was a goody-goody in highschool also. Well, at least all the adults around me thought so
I was in fact drinking and taking pills my senior year, but only the people I drank with knew that. However, I think if my parents had paid more attention to me they would have seen some tiny little signs that I was drinking, but they are 40 years older than me and really didn't take the time to notice.
So with my DD I will just trust my instinct, and if I even think she's having sex or doing anything sexual (kids nowadays don't think oral sex is dangerous...another topic altogether) I will be proactive with both conversations and contraceptives.
This is a good discussion! I love hearing what you all think.
yes i will allow her to have access to birth control. i rather her have it and know its available if she decides to have sex (don't even want to think about that yet...) than to have sex without any protection.
I don't think it'll make per promiscuous b/c i believe that educatiing her on the subject will make her make better decisions in the end.
That is my one big problem with hormonal bc. I am afraid that if she gets it too young it could set her up for problems later. I hate hormonal bc personally. I always had noticeable side effects that made it uncomfortable to be on...maybe by the time she's ready for bc they'll have invented something new altogether LOL
I was the same way as well and agree 100%.
This!! I don't even want to think about that right now! Let my Jessie Rose stay little!!
I will not give my daughter the option of birth control because I was recently told by a friend who has been on birth control since she was a sophomore in high schol, that if you are on it too long, it could possibly cause infertility. I don't know if it's true or not, but it's reason enough to scare me away from it. Also, I don't plan on making condoms and BC available to my children. I might be the only one and flame away if you want. I was raised in a very conservative Christian household and was aware of sex and drugs but never got introduced to it until later. My high school boyfriend pinned me down and made me have sex with him (needless to say I broke up with him 2 weeks later) and I didn't hav sex with another boy until my sophomore year of college. I did drink in high school and hung out with all the party people, i was the party girl but I didn't have sex or do drugs. I was raised on the belief that sex before marriage is wrong and I didn't want to have sex with my HS boyfriend. I made the decision to have sex with my DH when we were dating because I loved him very much. You can promote abstinence correctly and I want to let my kids know that they don't have to feel like having sex is acceptable high school behavior. Just because everyone else is doing it, doesn't make it right. I'm 23 and I'm very old fashioned and will not encourage my childrens actions by allowing them access to BC or condoms.
I don't mean to sound like I have my head in the sand, but I think I'll cross that bridge when I come to it.
On one hand, I'm not going to perpetuate some fairy tale about abstinence or take a 'not MY child' attitude, but on the other hand, I'm not going to automatically assume that she should be on BC as a pre-emptive strike.
But I also don't think that BC automatically opens the door to promiscuity.
We will definitely talk to Ryan about condoms being his responsibility. We will also let him know that they don't always work and that other forms of birth control will help ensure an unwanted pregnancy doesn't occur. Abstinence will also be brought up, but we don't expect him to wait until marriage.
I was taught to wait for sex until I met someone that I loved enough to give my virginity to. That it was very special and emotional, not just physical. I didn't wait until marriage, but DH is the only man I've been with.
Birth control was always available to me, I started on the pill at age 17. I had/have an very open relationship with my parents about sex, and I really hope that DH and I can have the same kind of relationship with our children.
If we have a daughter, all of the following applies. Condoms and other birth control are her responsibility. Both parties need to take responsibility when it comes to sex. Not just the guy, not just the girl, but BOTH.
And, if anyone is wondering, a friend of mine received a letter from her 11 year old daughter's school advising all parents to talk to their children about what's appropriate/inappropriate physical/sexual contact between students/their children. Apparently there's a misconception that BJs between 11 year olds isn't sex and that 11 year old girls are often 'subjected via peer pressure' to give 11 year old boys BJs ... often on school property.
ELEVEN.YEARS.OLD ... good grief.
Yeah, I said something about that in a pp, but it is totally scary to me to think that kids now think that oral sex is nothing to be afraid of. I feel like, to them, its nothing more than a kiss or something just as simple. I really don't think kids today know that you can contract STD's through oral sex...I just think in a world of such easily accessed information you would think teens would be getting smarter...silly me....lol
I will definitely provide access to condoms, that is a given. If I had a girl, it would be exactly the same way. I would not put my young daughter (12 years) on BC pills, only because of the hormone factor...I'm not so sure that BC pill (or shot) is the be-all end-all in birth control.
I do'nt think giving your child BC opens the flood gates to promiscuity, but I do think that preaching abstinence does...