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S/O of bathing/changing: What do you consider modesty?
I'm confused by the modesty explanations in the last few posts, and this is probably because I'm not a modest person (I guess??!! 
) My friends and I all change in front of each other...try on clothes, at the pool, beach etc. I'm certainly not modest in front of DH. I dress age-appropriately, and keep my clothes on in public. I expect DD to know and learn that there are things that are ok for home and close friends that aren't ok for the general public. What is your definition of being modest?
) My friends and I all change in front of each other...try on clothes, at the pool, beach etc. I'm certainly not modest in front of DH. I dress age-appropriately, and keep my clothes on in public. I expect DD to know and learn that there are things that are ok for home and close friends that aren't ok for the general public. What is your definition of being modest? This discussion has been closed.
Re: S/O of bathing/changing: What do you consider modesty?
I agree with you.....but maybe i am not modest either:)
I guess it is just a personal opinion.
I think there is a thin line with dressing in front of friends. I have no problem dropping trow (like in a locker room) with people or friends around, BUT I still am facing the wall/locker so I am not baring all.
But I have a friend who is so "out" in the locker room. Uncomfortably so. I am sorry I don't really want to have a full conversation while your bare breasts are out.
I consider myself very modest. I won't change clothes in front of anyone except DH. Not my mom, not friends, et cetera. I also wouldn't BF in front of anyone but DH (and doctors, LCs, but even that made me uncomfortable). I'm extremely uncomfortable with my body. No one in the entire world other than DH (or previous people I was intimate with) and medical professionals has ever seen my bare stomach since I was about 7.
ETA: Exception re: the belly when I was pregnant, I almost forgot till someone else mentioned. Pregnancy stretched it out enough to look almost normal so after much hesitation I ok'd a couple bare belly maternity shots and let Rachel post them, but that was still really tough for me. In person, no one saw the belly but DH, doctors, and Rachel for the pics.
I change in front of Toodle now but won't once he's old enough to talk and stuff.
I think I am a pretty modest person. I don't walk around my house naked to get a glass of milk. I don't answer the door with nothing but a teddy on. I would never flash my boobs in public.
I will however get undressed to take a shower or to change. I don't really care if H or my son for that matter are in the room when I am doing it.
After 7 years trying to concieve, 3 failed IUIs and 2 failed IVFs, my third IVF was a success!
My Christmas baby turned into a turkey bird! Dillon Richard was born at 34 weeks, 5 days on November 28, 2009 after 10 weeks on bedrest for preeclampsia.
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I am very modest. I don't change in front of people. In a locker room situation, I might quickly slip into something, but I'd certainly be facing the wall and covered with a towel! I am fine with my mom being in the dressing room with me, but I would NEVER get naked in front of anyone besides DH.
I am even modest with DH! I always put a robe on in the bathroom, always close the door when using the restroom, and only get totally naked and stand there if I am trying to get him interested in sex : )
When I say we want to teach modesty to DD - I mean that we want her to understand that her private parts are just that...private.
I remember when I got my first sports bra, I thought it was so cool. I wore it around the house, and my dad told me to put a shirt on. He said that I was a young lady and needed to act like it.
I think it would have been hard for me to understand that if my parents had gotten naked around me constantly.
To each their own...I just like to cover up!!
I think you can definitely change in front of friends/family and do it modestly. There's a difference between discreetly changing and marching naked around a locker room.
But like you, I think modesty is more about how you present yourself in public than how much nudity you're comfortable with when it comes to close friends/immediate family.
Amber
TTC since March '06
MFI, LPD, possible PCOS
3 chem pgs * m/c identical twins at 9w 10.06
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I'm more modest now b/c I hate how my body looks. Before? I didn't care. whatever. tits and arse. who cares. we ALL have private parts.
Americans are some of the most conservative with modesty, I've ever seen. Even here in Costa Rica, there are brazillian bikinis and g-strings, on ladies that really don't look that great in them, but they think they do and that's all that matters. Every but american men have on speedo type suits, and that's just what is the cultural norm.
Davez won't let Ava in the bathroom with him anymore, just because a few months ago she saw his bits and pointed/said "puppy" at them. (why? no clue) But she knows the difference b/t boy and girl. Maybe not by parts, as she's not been exposed to boy bits really. But she can tell you if Adam is a boy or girl, Ella is a boy or girl... etc. And I never taught her that. (odd)
To each their own. Although I would think it weird if any of you came into my house and peed with the door open, I certainly do not want you to judge me if I do (in my own home). lol.
I grew up in a house of only women and I'm still a very modest person. I change in front of close friends, but either turn away or put pants on under a towel etc. I would never just bare all in front of friends or family (only DH).
I did take a few bare belly shots for my maternity photos, but wouldn't let her post them on her blog and will only share them with family and a few close friends.
When LO is here I don't see myself walking around naked in front of her, but will use the same approach as I do with my sister/mom. Undress/dress with some coverage.
With that said, I have no problem peeing in front of people (door open or sharing a bathroom)... I guess because they are never looking so it doesn't bother me.
Well Reed and Penny see each other naked all the time. They bath together. If they are awake and I need to pee, they come in the bathroom with me...Reed handed me some toilet paper once! LOL Reed also sees my boobs because I am breastfeeding.
I agree with roaringrock though, it is a parenting choice.
I also think that breastfeeding really changed my perspective on my boobs. They get alot more fresh air than they ever did before
I'm like LVBlvd. I'm just a modest person and, for the most part, I have modest friends. We don't change in front of each other and we don't BF in front of each other (most of my friends don't BF actually). At the gym, I cannot imagine blow drying my hair or running around a locker room without my top on like other women do. I would be more uncomfortable doing that than just changing in a relatively private space.
ETA: That said, I do get a brazilian bikini wax every 3 weeks and I do get spray tanned by a person (where I am in the buff) alot. But it's by someone who does this for a living and in a private room so it doesn't bother me.
Definitely agree with this!
The first time at my LC support meeting when E was just 7 days old, I was so concerned about trying to keep everything covered in a room with 15 other new nursing moms. By week 2? Not at all. And by week 12? Never gave it one thought.
Ditto on everything LOL. It's not right or wrong, I just know I am much more open now that I was before about doing things in front of people. Which is odd, since my body was much better looking before!
I don't want this to at all offend or step on anyone's toes... but imo, modesty and being uncomfortable with one's body are two totally different things, and shouldn't really be discussed in the same way.
I have always felt pretty comfortable with my body, but I am pretty careful about dressing/being modest out in public - mostly because I dislike the over-sexualization/objectification of both men and women that can happen when modesty goes out the window. I'm careful about cleavage, don't like super short hemlines, etc. mostly because I want to be known for my mind and my personality first and foremost, and not for my body.
So for me, modesty is about dress and behavior outside the home. and it doesn't really impact us inside the home. I am very comfortable walking around the house in my underwear (not in front of windows) and I am freely naked around DH. As for locker rooms... I am comfortable changing in front of friends/family, but wouldn't go wandering around in front of strangers naked. and I don't really like it when others do either.
I want to teach my girl to love her body, embrace her body, and be comfortable in her own skin. But I will also try to teach her that it is important to present herself to the world in a way that she is valued for her ideas and her heart - and not the way she is dressed or her physical appearance.
Because we're fancy like that.
I'm with you! I grew up with my mom changing, showering, peeing in front of me and me in front of her. We still do it to this day. During labor, there were times I was totally naked- mom, dh, mw, nurse were all there & I never thought twice about it. My mom & my DH even helped me in the bathroom the first few times after L&D.
I bathe with DD and plan to be as open with nudity with her as my mom was.
I think nudity is just natural and not really about modesty.
I used to be very modest, which to me meant that I would never be lacking clothing in front of another person (w/ the exception of a boyfriend). I'm sure I got this from my parents - I remember them telling me I should wear a bra even under a nightgown when in the presence of my grandfathers, b/c "it would make them uncomfortable if I were braless." Yup.
Consequently, it made me very uncomfortable to be around people who are immodest. I remember being around a group of family friends in the summer as a teenager and the rest of the girls would shower together poolside and I felt so weird about that. (I did it, but reluctantly.) Then my best friend/college roommate was the opposite of modest - wore low-cut shirts daily, walked around the house naked. Which also made me uncomfortable. Since then, as I've matured, I have been able to be more comfortable with myself and others. I've always been okay with nakedness around those I'm intimate with (even going to the bathroom in front of them), so it doesn't spill over into the bedroom, but just other people.
Another part of my modesty comes from a poor body image. Feeling like I don't want anyone to see my "flaws." That's been hard to let go of, but I'm better about it now.
All of this said, I do bathe with Cal and undress in front of him, and have no problem with that. I don't like the fact that I was brought up to be painfully modest, and hope that it won't be the case with him.
LO #1 - 1 unmedicated/self-monitored IUI w/ donor sperm.
LO #2 - 1 m/c, 2 BFNs, 4th IUI worked (unmedicated/self-monitored with new donor sperm).
Life is beautiful!