Miscarriage/Pregnancy Loss

Tearjerking comment of the day

My 11-week pg co-worker confided in me with her pg secret. She?s trying to keep quiet at work until June but is very excited about it and feels like she can trust me- which is great. And I really am happy for her but she has no idea about my pg/mc and as she was telling me about her upcoming appt, she explained how it?s to check a bunch of things, including making sure baby is still growing ? and that if it?s not, it?s probably a good thing to find out now b/c it means that something is terribly wrong. OMG, I am so glad today for my monster headache today b/c I?m not up for crying and this one could have really put me over the edge. It just reminded me how different a person I am now than before. How once I actually had said to a friend (about his SIL?s early m/c) that my understanding is that it?s better to happen sooner than later b/c something was wrong. Now that I?m where I am I feel horrified that I ever said that- it?s such a demonstration of the ignorance that comes from not going thru this situation yourself. That comment is now in my top five of things ppl say to me that make me feel so mad and so misunderstood. I just finished the conversation by saying that she should think positive thoughts and only cross that bridge if/when she comes to it, which hopefully she won?t. Then I left and came running straight to all of you. So thankful for this community- otherwise I might implode!

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Re: Tearjerking comment of the day

  • I'm so sorry! Good for you for having the courage to be there for her and be supportive though! Hugs!
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  • I'm so sorry for that comment. It's sad when I think about it, because when my sister had her m/c's (she had two before my nephew), I told her the all the things we all DO NOT want to hear. After my loss, I actually apologized to her for saying those things. we are so sensitive at a time like this, and not many people understand that. Maybe since she trusted you, you could talk to her about your pg and m/c. It helped me to talk about it with people that I trusted and I knew would support me.

    and this community ROCKS! I thank God everyday for this board and TTCAL and all the ladies here.

  • Ugh...I've had so many people tell me that same thing - as if it's supposed to make me feel better. As much as I love my doctor, she too said the same thing.

    I agree with the pp who suggested that if you're close enough to confide, you should. We had announced are pg to everyone about a week before my m/c..and though untelling has been terrible, I've also received a lot of support...and have also discovered that a few of my friends have actually had m/c's before, and do know what I am going through. 

    ? Valentine's Day Babies ?
    BFP #1 Valentine's Day BFP! February 14th 2010 Missed M/C 11w5d ~ forever in our hearts.
    BFP #2 EDD September 30, 2012 ~ natural m/c 5w4d
    broken hearted, changed forever
  • I'm very impressed with how you handled the situation...you're so strong!  I also now look back at my reactions when friends/family had a m/c and I realize what I said was terrible.  I guess you have to live it to understand it.  That sucks.

  • Thanks all- I did handle that well if I may say so myself. I have NO idea what came over me b./c honestly this is SO not like me these days to be so calm and composed.
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