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December 2010 Moms
Totallying falling apart over here (long vent)
DH and I are excited for the new LO - but we don't really have the room in the house. We depend on my income for the mortgage payment. So we have a few issues - I want to stay home after the baby is born, plus we don't have room. So - what? Do we buy a new house and move in the middle of this pregnancy? Big problem - just like everyone else in the country, we are upside down by about 200% on our house since the market issue went sour. So if we want to buy a new house, we have to literally "let go" of our current home. I am responsible, work hard, and can't imagine myself letting go of a home on purpose.
I'm losing sleep on this one. Keep job, put LO in daycare, keep home, lose home, stay home. (sob sob) oye what to do....
vent over, thanks for listening girls.
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Totallying falling apart over here (long vent)
I think the ladies on the Money Matters board would be able to offer you a lot of good advice about this. My opinion is that it's not a good idea to walk away from a mortgage, but then again, I don't know what it's like to be in that situation. Is there really no possible way to bring a baby into your current home?
Good luck to you with whatever you do!
I agree with PP that you should take this question to MM.
Think about how a foreclosure is going to ruin your credit. You're not going to be able to get a new mortgage for a bigger house for a decade or so if you walk away from this one. And any landlords for rentals who do credit checks will reject you, too. You won't be able to buy a car, have credit cards, any of that.
It's probably best if you figure out how to make room for baby in your current house, and arrange for day care so you can go back to work. Either that or your husband needs a new job that makes more money so you can be a SAHM.
Better to figure this out now than in the 3rd tri. Good luck!
would it be easier to add an addition to the home?
We are moving in the middle of our pregnancy and we have to sell our house in this down market. It is going badly. But for us it's because our jobs are moving, not because of space or anything. We knew this would happen going into it. We'll just take the hit as needed. Our next jobs pay more anyway.
ugh.. i'm sorry you have to deal with this. i totally understand, we are renting a 2-bedroom house and it's pretty small.. but who can afford to buy real estate in southern cal??
is there really no way you can fit a baby into your house? or will it just be a little cramped? like, we have to transform our guest room into baby room, and we're going to put like a convertible sleeper in it, so if family comes to stay, like one of our moms to help us initially, they can sleep there while baby is in bassinet in our room. i don't know, maybe there is a way to make it work, as selling the house in this market - not such a great idea..
try not to stress too much.. things will work out.
I agree - is there absolutely no way you can fit a child into your home? We have a two bedroom house (maybe 900sq feet). And we're fitting a second child into that home.
And is there any way you could work from home? Cut down on hours? There may be some flexible working options that the MM ladies may help with.
I'm sorry you have to go through this. Things will work out, I promise. But ditto the others - 'giving up' on a mortgage isn't hte answer.
I can sympathize with your desire to stay home with your child when they are born. And I can say that you probably will never not want to be home. But you need to consider too what is right for your family. And it sounds like to me that you need to continue to work in order for your family to maintain the home you are in, and also so you can maintain a lifestyle that you are accustomed to. One of the things that helps me get through the day when I get sad about working is that I know my income makes it possible for our children to have the extra amenities that they might not otherwise have. We can afford to pay for Gymboree classes or let them play sports and take lessons because of it. I know in your heart that you just want what is best for your child. But it sounds like you need to be rational about your thinking, and abandoning a mortgage really isn't the best idea.
Good luck and hang in there.
Thanks!
I'm so sorry you're going through this... I am a real estate assistant and I work mainly with short sales and foreclosures.
A foreclosure damages your credit for 7+ years, so I wouldn't recommend that. However, a short sale of your home impacts your credit only for about 6 months and it is a really good option to get out from under a home that is worth less than you owe on it.
Basically, you would find an agent who deals with short sales, they would work with you to determine whether you qualify for a short sale and they handle negotiations with your lienholder(s) to sell the home at a reduced rate and satisfy the debt. If you have more than 1 lienholder, generally speaking the 1st lienholder gets paid off and the 2nd lienholder either takes what is left over or writes off the debt.
If you have any questions or would like more info, PM me and I would be happy to get you all the information you need to make a decision that is best for you and your family.
I just don't want you to think that foreclosure is your only option, because it definitely isn't :-) The last thing you want to do is let things get behind because then the agent would really have to work against the clock to try to sell the home before it would go to sheriff sale- and it doesn't always work.
If you would be able to do a short sale on your home, you may need to rent for 6 months or a year; and it may be a temporary inconvenience, but in the long run it might be the best solution for you.
EDIT- Sorry, I forgot to explain that the impact a short sale has on your credit is directly correlated to how much of the debt is able to be satisfied and the situation you get into before the sale. I can give you direct info explaining that if you need it. Didn't mean to make it sound like it's THAT much of a difference from a foreclosure... the way I said it was misleading.
I really think anything is possible space-wise. I know a couple who had a one bedroom apt in NYC (probably less than 500 sq ft) and they managed. The baby had a makeshift nursery in the living room, it wasn't ideal, but it worked. My cousin also has a one year old in a one bedroom condo- they have plenty of space but did wind up renting a storage unit just to have less clutter around the house.
I feel you on the mortgage thing. We bought our townhouse 4 years ago, and last year DH's office moved much further away. He is now commuting 90 miles (one way) 3 days a week and about 45 the other two. It really sucks, but we listed our place for 6 months and the highest bid we got was still 40k less than we paid and 15K less than our prinicple balance. We plan to stay and deal with DH's commute for the next year or two and then hopefully we'll be in better position to sell.