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they just dont get it!

acast187acast187 member
in Miscarriage/Pregnancy Loss
Spent the weekend with my family on my father's side (they are not the so big on the hugs and touch ie and feelings about being a family) anyways... sunday my FI and I decided to celebrate mother's day of baby's lost and mother's day since we wont be able to be together on the 9th. When i told my aunt about it she gave me a look like " it was like 3 months ago and you were not that far along" which i know she is thinking! I know i was only pg for a short time i was 6w 6d but i was still pg and still loved my baby! I dont think so people understand what it feels like to lose a baby! My aunt is not married nor does she have any kids she is 40 something years old so am not sure if she even wants a family.... I loved my family but i dont think they understand! ok vent over!
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Re: they just dont get it!

  • Izabella22Izabella22 member
    You're right, they don't get it. Unfortunately unless you've been through it you don't understand and even then, everyone grieves differently. I think for most people its hard to understand what losing a child really means and especially for those who've never had a pg loss, even if it was only a short pgcy it is still a loss. Vent away, it stinks when people are like "Oh well, it wasn't really a baby yet" - that just floors me. And yeah, makes you want to scream!
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  • elizabeth&jameselizabeth&james
    Nope, I don't think you possibly could unless you went thru this. I would think people could find a way to just use good common sense and judgment but apparently it is not always that easy. For me, for a relatively early loss, the way I try to explain it to people who matter to me is that it is the loss of a dream we had as much as it is the loss of the pregnancy itself. Sometimes they get it- other times they say "you will have that dream someday" which is a clear sign that they do not get it-- my sadness is for this moment, not for the future.
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