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Getting Daddy to help more?

needingallthehelpicangetneedingallthehelpicanget
in Orange County Babies
My husband wants to get me an ipad for Mother's Day but what I really want is for him to pack up the baby and take her out of the house for a few hours on Sunday morning so I can sleep! She's 5 mos old and he has yet to go anywhere alone with her. My (male) friend takes his 3 girls under 4 every Saturday morning and hits the park or the playground or anything else he can find to entertain them for a few hours while his wife does whatever she wants/needs to get done. I told this to my husband and he didn't really get what I was hinting at...is there a trick to this?
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Re: Getting Daddy to help more?

  • MrsRebeccaMrsRebecca member

    Does he spend a lot of time with her right now?  I found that it took awhile for DH to really be comfortable with DS.  It took a few days of putting DH on baby duty while I went upstairs and cleaned, put away laundry, etc. for him to be comfortable with him alone.  He is just now getting comfortable being alone with him- and took him out once to the library.

    Maybe try getting him to spend more time with her and then ease into going out alone.  I am a SAHM so I get up with DS but every Wednesday DH gets up with him so I can sleep in.  Maybe you can split weekends so one of you sleeps in Sat and one sleeps in Sun? My sister and her husband do that.

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  • cstwcstw

    Yes, my tip would be not to hint. Just tell him nicely SPECIFICALLY what you would like him to do. From start to finish, tell him what would make your day.

    Something like, "Here's what I really want for Mother's Day. I will pack up LO's diaper bag with everything you could possibly need. I will think of everything. Please wake up at X-o'clock and quietly take her to X, Y, Z until 10 am (or whenever). You can handle it! I believe in you. I am going to include a camera so please take pics of your date."

    Guys are not girls (obviously) and they communicate differently. What we women consider to be clear hints don't really work. Just spell it out. And be sure to thank him a few times.

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  • lovejonesy77lovejonesy77 member

    I like the way cstw thinks!  You totally have to come out and ask for what you want.  Especially when it comes to helping out with the baby.  I had to negotiate 2 hours a week to just have "quiet time" so I could pay bills and generally just goof off on the computer after work.  hahaha!  Note that my husband is an attorney, so everything in my house is a negotiation of sorts, but he is still a man and I had to spell out exactly what I wanted.  On Tuesdays from this time to this time, you need to do this with Reese, while I do this.  You have to be very clear.  And a couple of thanks yous never hurt!  :)

    At any rate... happy mother's day!  Hopefully it works out for you!

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  • Luckiest13Luckiest13
    i told my husband the only thing i wanted for my bday was to sleep in. never happened.
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  • MissLinzMissLinz member
    imagecstw:

    Yes, my tip would be not to hint. Just tell him nicely SPECIFICALLY what you would like him to do. From start to finish, tell him what would make your day.

    Something like, "Here's what I really want for Mother's Day. I will pack up LO's diaper bag with everything you could possibly need. I will think of everything. Please wake up at X-o'clock and quietly take her to X, Y, Z until 10 am (or whenever). You can handle it! I believe in you. I am going to include a camera so please take pics of your date."

    Guys are not girls (obviously) and they communicate differently. What we women consider to be clear hints don't really work. Just spell it out. And be sure to thank him a few times.

    This is the only thing that works for my husband..but I rather have the ipad:)

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  • simplyinlovesimplyinlove
    Last year for Mother's Day I asked for one thing; an hour to soak in the bath tub w/ no interruptions....still waiting. lol. Good ideas here though. I just may try some! 
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  • KristelRobinKristelRobin
    I agree, just tell him straight out what you want.  I hope he comes through for you!  But if he's never taken your LO anywhere alone. . . well try not to be too disappointed if he suggests that he make french toast instead. 
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