sister's wedding

taylorsue00 · May 2010

with all i have done already for her wedding, she asks me today if i found an ordained minister.

me- no, i haven't even looked, i believe thats something you and DH to be need to do. you guys have to decide what you want said, length, prewritten vows, etc

sister- no, thats what the MOH and Mom have to do.

me- how can i tell them what your and DH want to say to each other, ill tell you what ill send a request for info online and they will contact you via email or phone

sister- no, i dont check my email and if they call i dont know what to say. why can't you just do it.

finally our mom steps in- ill call them.

....why do we give in? its so frustrating.

BeckyTheEngineer · May 2010

Yeah, if she tries the "that's what a MOH does" one more time, I would seriously quit. Not threaten to, just do it and forget the money spent on a dress and all the work. She doesn't appreciate you, and won't get the message otherwise.

megdrew1218 · May 2010

Why doesn't she want to plan her own wedding?! She needs to just go to Vegas or justice of the peace in town.

taylorsue00 · May 2010

megdrew1218:
Why doesn't she want to plan her own wedding?! She needs to just go to Vegas or justice of the peace in town.

to answer that. she said she would rather just elope in vegas, but her wedding dress is too nice & expensive to just elope.

and just to put it out there, i dont mean to sound like i'm talking smack about my sister, but i'm just so frustrated with this & what better place to vent than on the bump?

alex&greg · May 2010

BeckyTheEngineer:
Yeah, if she tries the "that's what a MOH does" one more time, I would seriously quit. Not threaten to, just do it and forget the money spent on a dress and all the work. She doesn't appreciate you, and won't get the message otherwise.

I have a $250 unused bridesmaids dress from the same sort of situtation! I cut my losses and was much less stressed in the end!

BeckyTheEngineer · May 2010

taylorsue00:

megdrew1218:
Why doesn't she want to plan her own wedding?! She needs to just go to Vegas or justice of the peace in town.

to answer that. she said she would rather just elope in vegas, but her wedding dress is too nice & expensive to just elope.

and just to put it out there, i dont mean to sound like i'm talking smack about my sister, but i'm just so frustrated with this & what better place to vent than on the bump?

I got married in Vegas, and wore a great dress. Tell her she needs a wedding planner then, if she is set on a 'classy' affair.

Spacebunny19 · May 2010

if you aren't her paid wedding planner, here are your duties as MOH:

1) Show up for picking out your dress.

2) Buy your dress.

3) Show up for fitting of dress.

4) Throw her a nice shower.

5) Show up for rehearsal dinner.

6) Show up for wedding.

Show her this list. Tell her if it is not on this list, it is not something a MOH does. Period.

(Yes, yes, other MOHs and BMs help with things like getting invitations stuffed, or may throw a bachelorette party, or may help get favors ready for guests, but these are now things that are entirely optional.)

I have never heard of a MOH doing any of the planning of the actual wedding ceremony.

cranguard · May 2010

I don't have words. Every time I try to write a snarky comment I can't finish my thought because I can't believe someone would do that!

I did ask for my father to make the initial introductions to our JOP because he was a friend of his from high school but DH or I did everything else.

hopefulmom · May 2010

If they do not belong to a church she will have a hard time finding an ordained minister...although you can find them (it's just not easy). Also, many request that the people being married take classes. My DD was married by an ordained minister in a historical church (not normally used on Sundays, etc.). They found the minister by checking out "chapels". They had to meet with the minister because he needed to know what kind of ceremony they wanted (how religious, if they wanted to say any of their own vows, what scripture they wanted him to say, etc) and THEY had to sign the contract. This is something your sister and her finance have to do. You CANNOT do it. Your mother CANNOT do it. Why are you both enabling her to get away with this very immature behavior. Quite frankly, I don't think her actions shows she is responsible enough to be getting married.

PS: Does she expect you to take the classes for her as well?

kiyote72 · May 2010

i was MOH in 3 different weddings and NEVER picked the minister...much less even met him until the practice walk.

taylorsue00 · May 2010

hopefulmom:

If they do not belong to a church she will have a hard time finding an ordained minister...although you can find them (it's just not easy). Also, many request that the people being married take classes. My DD was married by an ordained minister in a historical church (not normally used on Sundays, etc.). They found the minister by checking out "chapels". They had to meet with the minister because he needed to know what kind of ceremony they wanted (how religious, if they wanted to say any of their own vows, what scripture they wanted him to say, etc) and THEY had to sign the contract. This is something your sister and her finance have to do. You CANNOT do it. Your mother CANNOT do it. Why are you both enabling her to get away with this very immature behavior. Quite frankly, I don't think her actions shows she is responsible enough to be getting married.

PS: Does she expect you to take the classes for her as well?

exactly. how would "I" know?! but i know for a fact she will not take any classes.

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