- Pregnancy
- Baby & Toddler
- Parents
- Getting Pregnant
- Baby Names
- Product Reviews
-
Registry
- Community
-
More
Want a personalized experience?
Download the free app
Special Needs
Amnio results = downs
I'm devastated & have a million questions. I'm concerned about having Meredith & a baby with downs. I'm afraid that i'm not up to the task of caring for sean. Rob & I have discussed the possibility of placing sean up for adoption, but again.... I don't know if i can do that either. We just want him to have the best life possible where he can receive al he needs to reach his highest potential & be the happiest he can be.
I'm so torn right now.
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Amnio results = downs
I know these were not the results you were hoping for. My thoughts are with you.
Heather
Natural m/c 3/28/10 5w6d** Natural m/c 9/4/10 5w4d**
BFP: 2/27/12. u/s showed blighted ovum at 9wks Natural m/c started 4/11, cytotec 4/13/12 (at 12 wks). **
First appt with RE 5/7. Testing complete. Dx: luteal phase defect
BFP 10/25/12. u/s on 11/16 confirms heartbeat
Praying for you. Receiving news like this can be devastating and overwhelming. There are several moms on here with downs kids, so hopefully they can provide you some insight and advice on this. Being a mom of a special needs child is not a club I wanted to join, I don't think anyone does. But, please know that your love for him when he is born, will amaze you. He will be perfect in your eyes.
It is hard to have two kids, one with special needs. It takes a tremendous tole on everyone, but the simple pleasures and the smiles make it all worth it. Good luck, may you find peace in whatever you decide to do.
What an even more devastating blow besides his heart condition. I'm so sorry. I can't even imagine what you and your husband are thinking/feeling. You are a strong person and will do what ever is best for you, your current family of 3, and esp your baby boy. My deepest thoughts. <hugs>
((Crazycrustacean))
I can't imagine the emotions you must be feeling right now. I agree that the moms here whose beautiful children have Down Syndrome will be able to share priceless insight. You also may want to read Kelle Hampton's blog, The Small Things. She is a 29 year-old mom whose daughter, Nella, was born with Down in January. She also has a young daughter.
I'm sorry you didn't get the results you were hoping for. I know this must be a lot to process right now. There are some moms of really wonderful, happy and healthy kids with DS on this board. I hope they can give you some assistance as you go through this.
Oh, hun...my heart aches for you. Give yourself some time to process things before you make any decisions. Although our diagnosis was not down syndrome, we also had a syndrome to deal with besides the heart defect.
Although it may feel like a death sentence for your family now...any kind of child is a miracle in and of itself. My hope is that you can find peace in whatever decision you make and know that your feelings may change once you get your precious child in your arms.
Max 4-08-08 and Michael 2-03-91 (19 years olds)
I want to say to read the blog mentioned above it is wonderfully inspiring. I am sorry you didn't recieve the news you were hoping for. I have been reading your posts and I saw today's.
I had a similar experience. I didn't get the news I had hoped for either. First I got the news that my baby girl had a heart defect (complete AVSD) , we saw genetic counselors, we had an amino, we hoped and prayed that the heart was all it was. Wasn't that enough for us and our baby to handle? (We had 2 year old DD at the time too). We decided notto knwo the amino results (I already knew in my heart as much I didn't want to that our baby would have Down Syndrome). We still prayed maybe just maybe we would be that 1% were tests are wrong. We weren't. But what we did have was a beautiful baby girl , whom her sister adored like nothing I have ever seen. I can tell you now that it will be rewarding and he will bring youso much joy that you never could imagine. Others can tell you the same. But you aren't ready to hear that now. Right now you are greiving for the baby you won't have. And that's okay. You have been thrown a curve ball and it is hard to accept right away. It is hard to accept even after days. I can tell you it will be okay and you will find peace. But that probably doesn't mean much now, but it will. One day.
After I cried all day for days, I decided that I created this baby and I would do whatever I could to be a good mother to her. I wanted to enjoy the rest of pregnancy and be prepared for the heart surgery to know whatever it was I needed to know. So that is what I finally decided to do. It wasn't an easy decision. My DH and I had many late night, all day discussions on what to do, why to do this or that or why not to do this and that. Many included our older DD - how would her life be, what would this do to her? It was very very hard. I do know only you and your family can make the best decision for you and your family and you will.
I know you are going through a range of emotions. I am not sure if you want to talk more but you can pm me. I have been there and if I can help by talking I will.
For now I wish you peace in your thoughts and send you hugs.
I am sorry that you did not get the news you were hoping for. It is hard. We have all been there in one form or another so you are among those who really do understand the pain you are experiencing right now. There are a lot of DS moms on this board--many with an older child like you have and I know they will be of great support to you. You have just been dealt a major blow. Let this sit for a while. It's ok and necessary to grieve over what "could have/should have" been. When you are ready, reach out to support groups for families with DS children. You aren't alone out there.
Hugs!!
I'm sorry to hear you're dealing with all this. I can completely understand having tons of questions and concerns. The first thing I can say is that I would never have chosen the path we're on, but I'm happy and I love my DD more than anything in the world. It seems like you're in an awful place right now, but there's a lot of beauty there too - it just takes a while to find it.
The second thing is that no one ever thinks they're up to the challenges of having a special needs baby/child, but we all become more women than we ever thought we were when it's because of the love for our children. You can do it, and you will be a fantastic mommy to him - loving him is the best and most important thing you can do for him.
Give yourself some time to grieve for the baby you thought you'd have, and then see where you are. Good luck!
This is a very overwhelming time for you right now, I can imagine. I didn't know Miles had Down's until birth, so I can't relate in some ways, but I can tell you to give yourself some time to come to terms with this diagnosis and go through the wide range of emotions you're feeling. The good and the bad. Even the really, really bad.
I'll spare you the "Miles is a blessing to us and brings us so much joy" schpiel and just tell you to be kind to yourself right now and try to take things day by day.
You'll know what decision is best for your family when the time is right.
Nora Judith 7/2/06 Miles Chauncey 4/20/09 born with Trisomy 21 - Down syndrome
This is difficult news to accept. Riley is 6 months old, and it is still difficult for me to accept.
You are his parents, and you will give him the best life possible. You will be able to do everything he needs you to do. It won't be easy at times, but what in life is.
This is NOT the news any parents wants....I don't want it, but I love my son beyond belief, and that means learning (even though I don't want to) accepting his disability.
CRY, SOB, SCREAM....You need to be OK with allowing your body and mind to feel whatever it wants to. You'll get through it.
Ragdoll-
This was a beautiful response. Thank you for writing such a great post and sharing your thoughts with us.
I am sorry you didn't get the results you wanted. I remember getting our call and screaming 4 letter words and then breaking down. I shut myself off from the world for a few days and just cried and grieved. It was a dark time in my life.
I can tell you we made the choice to terminate and set up the appointment. The day before I went off by myself and it hit me, for me, termination was not an option for me. I was so afraid of the unknown, I talked myself into termination. I cancelled my appointment and never looked back. Now, 8 months later, I am so happy I made this choice.
Just know you are not alone in this, there are lots of families just like ours and when you are ready, I would highly recommend you visit with one. It makes such a difference. I also say please go over to the babycenter board posted and talk with us. Those are a great group of women with a lot of insight.
Most importantly, what you are feeling right now is totally NORMAL!! You are doing what most of us did and will do. Just know you are not alone, even if it feels like it right now.
My son was born in February and has Down syndrome. The initial shock can send so many thoughts through your head...I promise you, this is normal.
I didn't know if I'd want to hold him or even take pictures? I didn't think I was capable of raising a child with Down syndrome. I didn't know anything about it.
2 months later, I can tell you that when I look at my son I'm so thankful. I couldn't imagine life without him. When I look at him, I see a beautiful baby. I don't see Down syndrome. He might not be what I expected, but he's exactly what I needed.
Please feel free to P.M me if you need anything/want to talk. I will keep you and your husband in my prayers.